Essay Example on A Student Outing Day: Unexpected Conflict Looms

Introduction

Saturday kicked off like any other day, a little cold than usual. One could tell that something messy was going to happen but not in the way I could imagine. I took a shower just as normal, but this time not headed to school. My friends and I had agreed to go for a student’s day outing being on the weekend. I walked out of my room just as my father was leaving for work and quickly said goodbye to him. My mum was at the dining table already taking her breakfast while the aroma of the freshly prepared breakfast welcomed me. I greeted her, took my breakfast, and after exchanging a few words, I bade her goodbye as I rushed out to meet my friends who were already calling me. Upon reaching our agreed meeting point, I found one of my friends, and Jane was not feeling well. She had just developed a terrible headache and was feeling nauseous. They all looked worried while Jane convinced them that she could still make to accompany us. We agreed with her and started the journey.

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However, some minutes later, she started turning pale and complained of stomach pains and dizziness. I opted to take Jane to her home as the rest went ahead, which they all agreed. Upon reaching her home, her mother busted out of the house, looking extremely flustered. I quickly explained to her what had happened as I tried to calm her down. She tried to subtly close the door, so we could not enter while persisting that I should have taken her to the hospital. I pushed the door past her to let Jane in so she could rest. I got really shocked when I met the face of a young man trying to quickly put on his clothes looking very worried and uncomfortable. Jane looked at her mother, who was speechless, then looked at me and was like I should keep quiet, leave and let them solve the issue. I stormed out of the house feeling confused, went hastily to my friends, and out of fear and anger, I busted out the whole story to them. That same day Jane called me asking why I betrayed her. Reality struck me; I felt crushed and sobbed profusely. I fell on the ground feeling like I wanted nothing other than to die. The eighteenth day of November 2019 remains such a dreadful day to me to date.

Analyzing the Conflict

Anticipate

Conflict is inevitable when two or more parties come together. Anticipation helps a person to develop strategies on resolving the conflict when it occurs (Elias & Porter, 2006). One must take into consideration the person they are dealing with and the relationship thereof. The fact that Jane was my closest friend, I would have looked for a way of preventing her from being upset with me by doing what she implied to me.

Prevent

Disagreements cannot be prevented all the time, but unhealthy conflicts can. It is, therefore, good to always focus on preventing conflicts from getting out of hand by acknowledging them as they happen. The knowledge that what had happened at Jane’s place was not a good thing would have made me safeguard the information for Jane’s sake and for the future of our friendship.

Identify

Identifying the existence of conflict makes its management easier. Interests of parties involved are thereby known. At first, there was a personal conflict of what to do to help Jane. Then after telling my friends, betrayal came in, and Jane was upset with me. She could not face me anymore. She always believed in me as a protective and caring friend, but I had now failed her. It proved difficult to approach her for an explanation.

Manage

Conflict is emotional, and therefore, managing it in the midst of disagreements requires the acknowledgment of the underlying reasons and emotions of the parties (Patterson et al., 2013). In this case, Jane was feeling disappointed in me to the extent she could not talk to me any longer. She withdrew from me and activities that involved me.

Resolve

Resolving takes time and skills as it requires both parties to work towards an agreement. Failure to resolve a conflict in time makes it surface again aggressively. Jane was very angry such that she did not want to be associated with me. The conflict made our friendship to end since we could not solve it on time.

I think Jane thought of me as a traitor who did not value friendship. She felt discouraged, betrayed, and fooled. Maybe she thought I was there as a friend to share good moments and turn my back when things were not in order. For example, Jane could not hold herself at the sight of me; she could keep herself busy when I tried to approach her, and she cried a lot when she called me after I betrayed her.

SDI and motivational values

A person’s strengths can be used to improve relationships with others. The Strength Deployment Inventory helps people identify their strengths in dealing with people when things are okay and when in conflict (Scudder et al., 2011). I was operating with the assertive-nurturing and flexible-cohering motivational value systems. I was ready to help Jane get home when she fell sick while ensuring her safety. Jane operated under the analytic-autotomizing motivational value system. For example, she believed in herself and managed to control her emotions at the sequence of events. She judged the situation even before having me explain. Her intention was to have the issue solved within her family, and she trusted I could keep the secret. This matters because, in the event that it really happened as she projected, the conflict would have been prevented (Patterson et al., 2013). Her change of behavior after betrayal indicated that she was really hurt and was not ready for discussion. Her behavior clearly indicates the presence of a conflict that would prolong if not resolved on time.

Evaluation

Crucial accountability is one way of preventing a conflict (Patterson et al., 2013). I would have kept silent and safeguarded my friendship with Jane by winning her trust. I should have taken time to think of the consequences of telling others about the incident before doing it. Differences in values, opinions, and understandings often lead to conflicts. Understanding other people’s motivational value system is key to preventing conflicts (Patterson et al., 2013). Having effective communication would have helped in avoiding misunderstanding, mistaken assumptions, and interpretations. Understanding the analytic-autoionizing motivation system adopted by Jane would have helped me understand that they would handle the situation and control their emotions. I would not take the situation in my hand by trying to seek help from others.

Recommendations

To solve the conflict, I will use the collaboration method by approaching Jane and explaining to her apologetically why I betrayed her (Fisher et al., 2011). I will do so in readiness to either win back or lose her trust in me. I will explain to her that the situation got out of hand, and I sought help. In the future, I will learn negotiation skills, which will help me in dealing amicably with conflict when it occurs (Fisher et al., 2011). I will also learn how to communicate in difficult situations, which will make it easier for me to approach the other party to help solve the conflict easily and ensure that we both agree on something in favor of a mid-point solution.

References

Elias, H & Porter, E. H. (2006). Strength deployment inventory: Interpretive guide. Manage Conflict and Improve relationships. 4-7.

Fisher, R., Ury, W. L., & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. Penguin Group.

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., Switzler, A., & Maxfield, D. (2013). Crucial accountability: Tools for resolving violated exoectations, broken commitments, and bad behavior. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Scudder, T., Patterson, M., & Mitchel, K. (2012). Have a nice conflict: How to find success and satisfaction in the most unlikely places. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.