My Sexual Autobiography

Paper Type:  Essay
Pages:  8
Wordcount:  2159 Words
Date:  2022-03-27

Introduction

In my autobiography, I will chronologically talk about events and personal experiences that influenced the development of my sexuality. Personal experiences that converted me into the person I am today. These events were very remarkable because I developed and defined my sexuality based on what my parents, relatives, friends, and society transmitted to my life.

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Background

I am the second oldest of all my siblings. I have two brothers and one sister. Since my parents had some experience with babies thanks to my older brother, they were more confident about taking care of me once coming out of my mom's womb. My parents were raised with the mentality of always hoping the first baby to be a boy and the second one a girl. The tradition is that it's still ideal to have a male born first because, in the future, he will be the one taking the father's role. He will be the one taking care of his mom, the one who will become the role model for his younger siblings, and the one that will implement morals and values in the house.

You might ask yourself, what about a girl? Why is it ideal to have a girl after having a baby boy? Well, many families always wish to have an older son and a younger daughter to form a family with two kids from the opposite sex and make it more satisfactory to raise two kids that will represent the mom and dad's teachings. Besides, having a son and a daughter it is always ideal because many don't want to have any more children. Unfortunately for my parents, after having my older brother, they got to know they were going to conceive another male, and their wishes to have a child of the opposite sex was not going to stop there.

My mom got pregnant 4 years after she conceived me and not so luckily. She got the news that she will be having another boy. A baby is always a blessing in a family, but they wanted to have a little girl. My mom did not want any more children as she already had 3 males to take care of. Everything was going to become more difficult for my parents- the financial stability to raise 3 children and the more attention they were going to need. My parents took the decision not to have any more kids in their lives, but shockingly, a year later, they got the surprise of their lives: my mom was pregnant again! This time they weren't hoping for a girl as it was very likely that they were going to conceive the 4th male.

My Health

When the day of the ultrasound came, my parents got the news of their lives (it was probably a blessing), they were going to have the first and only daughter. I was already 5 years old and remembered how delighted my dad was for having a little princess on the way. I think for fathers, their lives change forever after having a daughter because of what that represents. They now have to pay extra attention and care to a daughter that one day will grow and become a young woman. Not only had my dad's life changed, but also of everyone in the family. Sexual attitudes and beliefs were now going to put into the test in our house.

When I turned 6, my parents would not let my older brother or me be present when they were changing my sister's diaper or showering her. It was something we were confused about, but after a couple of months, we understand why. My little brother would do everything together with my sister since their age difference was only a year. I remember every Wednesday of the week going to my grandma's house and see all my cousins waiting for me to play. Since then, sexual attitudes from my relatives was shown. Boys, including me, were told that "a girl can't be touched not even with a rose petal," Meaning that girls always have to be respected and treated with care.

You would never see one of my male cousins playing wrestling with my female cousins. That was not recognized right for anyone. I think that the stigma created by parents is adequate, so males in the future can respect and treat a woman how it was to be. Yea, maybe sometimes girls get away with things compared to boys, but I think we have to keep in mind that we are different.

When I started kindergarten, I started noticing the segregation between girls and boys. In bathrooms, in games, or even activities implemented by the teacher. Obviously, games like jumping the rope during lunch or tag were played by both sexes, but in my case, I knew that when girls wanted to play "mom" or "the chef," it was time for me to go play soccer or basketball with my male friends.

Many might think that I was already sexist at such a young age, but in reality, I just did not like the idea of knowing I was going to be the only guy playing something I don't really like just because I wanted to make my girl-friends happy and not disappointed. Even though I think kids of any sex have the right to play any "boy" or "girl" games as long as it makes them happy. Kids at that age do not even know what sex differences are. So, in my opinion, I don't think a boy should be labeled as "girly" or a girl as "tomboy" just because they like more things related to the opposite sex.

One thing is to be in favor of girls and boys playing any games or hanging out with any kids, but another is to end with bathrooms that are assigned according to your gender. That privacy and the system should stay the same in schools to prevent any issues. I think it is easier for a kid to go to the bathroom depending on their gender than creating bathrooms unisex and matters seen in the raise at school.

We all know that when you start middle school, certain things in your life are going to begin to change by themselves. During 6th grade in my science class, everyone was introduced to the chapter' family life'. This chapter is taught in schools in regard to the physiological and hormonal changes that most of the kids will have to go through puberty. Of course, I know my parents were anticipating these changes since the day my siblings and I was born. It is one of the most challenging stages when it comes to parenting. Parents don't usually know what to do when it comes to this stage in life. In my personal experience, my parents never clearly explained to me how all the "pregnancy thing works or how a baby is created." They were very shy to talk about this and did not know how to approach us for this matter.

Sex-Life

It seems that parents always hope for their son never to ask questions related to sexuality. They hope school teaches children in a proper manner what all the things associated with sexuality and puberty are. It seems like parents already know they will never have the right words to explain their children the reality when it comes to sexuality. I never really touched this topic with my parents during middle school maybe because they thought I was still "a little kid that didn't know anything about sex"

During high school, as I was growing up, my parents started to become more open with my oldest brother and me in particular. Maybe they never used a very educational vocabulary to talk to me about it, or perhaps they never knew how to approach us with this topic, and everything was always weird and spontaneous, but I still think they were very straightforward with me. They ever tried to explain to me the importance of not having sex without a condom because it can potentially destroy your youth by getting someone pregnant just because of emotions experienced during puberty.

They never told me sex was a bad thing, they always tried to give me advice on the best way to secure an educational future, and it was by performing abstinence. My parents always used to tell me, "everything happens according to time." My time at that moment was to study hard to get to the University of my Dreams. I think all the problems that we see nowadays with young girls getting pregnant and boys becoming dads and transmitting diseases at their all-time high is because parents never were courageous enough to talk to their children about an essential thing in life. If parents never try to be very open with their children or give the confidence and trust they deserve, children will always feel unconfident and unnecessary to have conversations with their parents about sexuality.

My current sexual attitudes and beliefs are maybe somewhat different than my parents. They grew up in a very conservative environment with the idea of never having sex unless getting married first. I think sex is part of life and people should be able to choose what they think it's best for them. In particular, I think people do not have to wait to have sexual contact with another person until they get married. I believe that as long as both love each other and are agreeing to have safe sex, then it is something healthy in a relationship.

Some religious values affect my sexual values and decision making because for most of the people in society, having sex or living with the person you love before even getting married is seen negatively, but I think it shouldn't be seen this way keeping in mind the couple is having a healthy relationship and preventing sexually transmitted diseases by performing safe sex. Two mature individuals that are living together and are always caring about one's health and life are more admirable than a married couple that has an unhealthy relationship and are misinformed on sexuality and its risks.

My sexual attitudes and choices partially reflect the culture I was raised in because of the respect I have for the opposite sex, my personal beliefs when it comes to sexuality, and how things like having assigned bathrooms depending on the gender demonstrate the conservative, but in some parts liberal way I grew up. In my opinion, the importance of sex in an intimate relationship is very crucial in a relationship because it can either make it stronger or weaker. A relationship is between 2 people and not only one taking control of the decisions being made for the relationship.

Communication and comprehension are very important in life because that is how a couple will have a healthy and stable relationship with no obligations or expectations. I think society's expectations of me as a male is to listen to my partner, respect her, and never force her to anything that she doesn't want to do. The society also expects me to be someone exemplary that can take care of a significant other by always protecting her and still offering the love and affection she deserves. I became aware of these expectations the day I was able to understand how my dad's role in the house was. He is someone that has become a role model for my siblings and me by always being able to provide for my family. Also, he was able to show me what a healthy relationship should be and look alike. Not only has the way he treats my mom, but also the level of respect he had for the opposite sex in general.

I think the general expectations for a male is to be able to have a healthy relationship with a person he loves, be prepared to form a family then and provide them for the rest of his life. A man who is hardworking, respectful, and admirable will always be seen as the perfect man for someone. My first significant sexual experience taught me how I could show my love by being comprehensive and listening to my partner.

Conclusion

I learned how communication is very crucial if you want to have a healthy relationship with the person you love. Love and attraction are not the only components that matter in a relationship. If there's love but not communication nor respect at all, then it will not work out in the long run. I think it is beautiful when you can find a person who listens to you, loves you, and comprehends you throughout the relationship. If I ever have children, I would like to teach my children the importance of sex in life. Not only sexual contact but also the concern to love and be able to take care of yourself before trying to look out there for someone that one da...

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My Sexual Autobiography. (2022, Mar 27). Retrieved from https://proessays.net/essays/my-sexual-autobiography

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