I woke up to a comfortable semi-darkness, cozy and velvety like a womb. It was that gray zone between the night and the day when the air still buzzes with the dreams you have just escaped from and all the things around are blurred and slowly merge together as if in that old sepia picture that slept on my granny's mantel-piece. I stretched, yawned complacently and looked around. I felt strangely rested. The dim light in the room reminded me of a mediocre hotel we had once stayed when we got snowed in on our trip to New York a couple of years ago. It was called Noah's Ark. The name tasted bittersweet in my mouth. It reminded me of something that felt like a dream and a nightmare at once. Noah. Noah was the very person that had turned my cozy, comfy world into Atlantis, which went deep down under the mighty hungry waves that spat dirty foam and groaned like giant wounded whales. Those waves took away my convenient reality. And I was the one who had stirred up that storm in the tea-cup of my boring, ordinary, blissful life. But first, let me tell you how it all started. It all started with kindness.
The life of an undergraduate is to a certain extent a dress rehearsal before commencing the stressful journey of climbing the career ladder and professional growth. This is why it is truly vital to acquire an effective toolkit of techniques to reduce stress and restore a productive state of mind. One day I felt I needed a plan. I chose a number of strategies that required little to no preparation, and, what is more important, little to no expensive equipment, among them there were listening to music, Pomodoro time management technique and RAKtivism. Listening to music worked really well and helped me get in the right mood for whatever I was studying at the time. French music in the background worked best for me by evoking in my consciousness fragrant croissants, baguettes, red wine, and the Eiffel Tower. The Pomodoro technique was simple and effective. I bought a kitchen timer shaped like a tomato and set it so that I had 25 minutes of work and 5 minutes of rest. This allowed me not to strain myself too much, stay focused and attentive, and at the same time gave me something to look forward to. As I had hoped, this technique permitted me to get things done, yet, as you might have guessed, it did not last. As with most human beings, most of my good intentions last only as long as I keep writing Facebook posts about them. But I did not let myself be discouraged. I proceeded to RAKtivism and, to tell you the truth, it had completely changed me. Now, I suppose you expect me to tell you how much kinder and more helpful I have become. I will have to disappoint you. At some point, I became bewildered, angry, lost, and frustrated. Well, to be honest, I also felt hopeful, inspired, curious, empowered and adventurous. And, last but not the least, I became an aspiring story-teller. Which is, probably, the worst possible outcome. But first things first.
I think you know by now that even the best of time management strategies cannot secure you from stress that is inevitable in graduate years and professional life. But there is one good thing that comes in a package with stress - stress makes you more social because oxytocin, the "cuddle hormone", is actively produced. So, I decided that pro-social behavior can be seen as an efficient technique to reduce stress. I developed a beginner plan based on the RAKtivism agenda, which I carried out at the weekend. It encompassed several easy steps. For a start, I decided to create a positive atmosphere for my experiment by saying good things to my family members, neighbors, and other people I know who were pleasantly surprised by the unexpected compliments. At first, it was difficult to sound natural, but after a few attempts, I began to enjoy it and got more experienced. The next act of kindness I decided to do was a little more challenging. I spent some time with a little boy living next door. When I got over my reticence and awkwardness, I felt inspired by the fact that the little one was clearly pleased with me. We parted the best of friends, and I am looking forward to seeing him again. Being able to light up a smile on a child's face made me feel worthy. When I returned home in the evening, I prepared a simple family meal, which was the final stage of my kindness plan. While cooking, I thought about all the feelings that small acts of kindness had evoked in me. Perhaps, this positive energy made the dinner more delicious. Genuine and meaningful communication is an essential part of human life.
As you see, it all went pretty smoothly until my final act of kindness. I felt like a powerful generator of kindness, so I proceeded to the crowning stage of my campaign: I decided to make a new 'random' friend. This is how I met Noah. Today it is quite unusual to make friends outside of cyberspace, so I felt uneasy, striking a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop. But he turned out to be very nice. He came from Flamingo, Florida, to see some friends. He praised my social courage, and we had a cup of coffee together. Noah looked pretty normal. A dark-haired, slim, good-looking young man with a neat stylish beard and deep-set, velvety, thoughtful eyes. I remember telling Noah about my stress-reduction campaign and amateur RAKtivism. He was listening carefully, yet, he looked as if he was in two different places at the same time. When I finished he was silent for some time gazing across the street. People were chatting, sitting around tiny wooden tables in the small cafe. There wasn't much traffic at this hour and we could hear pacifying human buzzing and quiet jazz music. A couple walked by holding hands without a word or a glance at each other, too full of their new happiness and anxiety and hope. An old lady perched on a carved little stool on her balcony, making herself comfortable and preparing herself for her most favorite pastime - watching the street swarm with life. I asked Noah what he was doing, he told me his story and this is when the fluffy, cozy, peaceful world around disappeared.
War is not a very comfortable subject to be discussed over a cup of coffee. But, probably, it is not a comfortable subject at all. But, after all, who said we need to feel comfortable all of the time? Noah said he was a photographer. He told me he had been photographing for around 14 years. His passion for photography started with taking pictures of the ocean. The power of the element mesmerized and exhilarated him. Noah had always been a great nature lover. No wonder, he said, he lived in one of the most beautiful places on this Earth - Everglades National Park. From documenting the might and force of the natural element Noah moved to the human element when he got interested in taking pictures of public manifestation and protest. When he heard about the conflict in Ukraine he decided he would go. Accustomed to thinking of war as a distant news mirage, Noah found it hard to understand how something this cruel and meaningless could be happening in the 21 century, in the middle of Europe at that. He could not believe that neighbors and friends could be fighting, killing each other, ruining the lives of thousands. But soon he realized that he could not understand it because war is always meaningless, chaotic and false at its very heart. The only thing you can do is try to stay human in this slaughterhouse. And this is what Noah's photographs tell us about - people, who are human to the marrow of their bones, about their daily routine, when they sleep, eat and smoke, and hard times when their courage is being tested to the maximum. The photos show people, who are the same flesh, blood, and bone as we are, though they have been widely referred to as 'cyborgs'. He said, with them, he felt safe and comfortable even next to the front line. In the trenches, people quickly understand who is who. Noah made friends with the Ukrainian soldiers he met. He read a lot trying to understand them and their enemies. And in the first place, he made astonishing, deeply unsettling and moving photographs that show people at the front to be human. This is what matters about his job. Noah brought his Fujifilm Instax camera with him to Ukraine so that he could give photographs to the soldiers as a present. Those photos are memories that they share now, memories, that connect people, countries, continents. Noah said he wanted to go to Ukraine again, and after talking to him I could easily see why.
I asked Noah to show me some of the photographs he had made. While he was searching for the right folder in his cell phone, I was preparing myself for what I had to see - the chaos and the misery of war: destroyed houses, austere grim soldier faces, deadly weapons, and ugly tanks. I pulled myself together and made a silent promise not to let my face express any extreme emotions: I wanted to look strong, worldly, knowledgeable, understanding. And yet, Noah managed to surprise me. Undoubtedly, the war was there, it was invisibly present even in the most innocent scenes, lurking somewhere in the background. But the pictures were not about it, they were about the people, the amazing people Noah had met and their daily lives which, as it turned out, are not so different from ours. The photos that Noah showed me were mostly taken at the front line in Shyrokyne, Ukraine in 2015. The first among them featured a man in a military uniform making barbeque on an improvised fire in the trenches. He was squatting with his back to the camera, half-turned to look at the photographer. What deeply impressed me at the very first glance was the man's sincere joyfulness and obvious amiability. His reddened bearded face shone with kindness and his eyes sparkled with good will. He looked like a very nice person glad to see Noah and having a good time. In the trenches. In the wartime. I felt all my worries were petty and the stress that I was trying to fight was not a real threat, but rather an imaginary monster that had never really lived under my bed. Another picture showed a man smoking a cigarette in a trench, his face a mixture of pure pleasure and consciousness unwillingness to accept the harsh reality around. Very simple joys of life - tasty food or a good cigarette - become extremely valuable in the times of great ordeals. But not only the simple pleasures matter. The next picture that I saw was telling one more story. It was a black and white photograph of a young soldier bent over a book reading in the light of his flashlight and surrounded by the complete, almost tangible darkness. The young man's face was so peaceful and gentle that it was hard to believe he was taking his book journey from a place torn apart by conflict and hate. Books possess this incredible power to transport you into a new world without you even noticing it. And yet, the young man had to overcome many obstacles to be able to dive into the book's magic. How lucky are those who can read at leisure! I looked at the pictures with mixed feelings of sadness and hope. The strangers' tenacity and zest for life were telling me a story about life that can and should be appreciated every minute that we have, no matter what the circumstances are.
Conclusion
As I listened to Noah and looked at the photographs he was showing me, I painted a vivid picture in my mind. I thought of how only that very morning I woke up early, stretched, yawned. I went to brush my teeth and have a shower. As I was looking into a misted mirror, I had that moment of truth that probably every young person has at least once in a lifetime in their morning bathrooms while staring at their bored, bleak reflections. I understood that my time on this planet was running out, I was getting older with each day, and every day was bringing me closer to the inevitable end...
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