Introduction
My attitudes, beliefs, and ideas have experienced tremendous changes after gaining immense knowledge in this course. I understand that my ideas and overall attitudes are not the same towards intimate partner violence. After the course, I begun thinking more about the suffering of the victims and societal aspects as contributing to the growth of intimate partner violence. I changed my perception about the causes of intimate partner violence, the choices that victims have, and the consequences that are emotional.
Ideas before the Course
I used to think that intimate partner violence emanates from a partner's own choosing. I was not blaming the victims at this point but mainly wondering why they never left. My perception was that a grown-up can choose what happens to them. They can decide when a situation does not suit them and leave because everyone has the freedom to do so. I thought that only children do not have the free will to make choices (Sugg, 2015). They are imprisoned in their states since they do not have the capacity to make decisions pertaining to their lives. An adult, however, decides who they should marry and when to seek other options in case their relationships failed to work. Hence, I thought that intimate partner violence is a choice because most victims hardly leave. They stay and continue suffering when they are adults with the free will to make different choices.
Additionally, I used to think that intimate partner violence occurs randomly. For instance, I believed that a partner can be violent not as a habit, but due to random acts that course their behavior. For instance, they may have an argument with their better half and proceed to hit them as a reaction. I thought that intimate partner violence occurs because individuals have anger management issues. They do not know how to control their anger, which may lead to their reacting violently towards their partners. I never associated intimate partner violence with background problems and other related aspects (Sugg.2015). I did not think of this as a habit that is reinforced by one's background or the environment to which they are exposed.
Moreover, I failed to consider the impacts of abuse on victims. Prior to this course, I believed that a victim can simply move on from the ordeal they have suffered if they are not physically injured. My belief emanated from a point of ignorance and avoidance of the impacts of my experiences with intimate partner violence. Because I hid from the issues pertaining to intimate partner violence in my life, I began thinking that every victim can carry on with this similar avoidance.
How my ideas have changed
After learning so much in this course, my perceptions have changed immensely. For instance, I am more sympathetic towards victims because I now understand the emotional turmoil they undergo that keeps them in abusive relationships. I have changed my position that people have a choice in intimate partner violence after this course made me realize that they do not (McDonald & Belknap, 2014). For instance, I am now aware of the shame and feelings of low self-esteem that would make a victim afraid of leaving. The act of domestic violence is very humiliating. It comes with feelings of worthlessness that make it quite difficult for the victim to consider herself worthy of any attention. They stay because they feel ashamed and undeserving of a second chance in life. The inferiority complex that comes with intimate partner violence is an aspect that controls the thinking of victims (McDonald & Belknap, 2014). They feel imprisoned because they believe that they do not have choices. Hence, many suffer in silence as opposed to seeking the help they need to move on. The course changed my thinking about victims having a choice and I am now convinced that they do not have many options (Roy, 2016). Furthermore, many of them think about their children and the suffering they would endure without their other parents. Many also stay in abusive relationships because they are not financially independent and would not know where to begin. Therefore, the course exposed me to the plight of victims and I began thinking about them in ways I have never before. I am more sensitive about their plight and see them as victims for the first time.
My thinking about the causes of domestic violence has also changed. For instance, I am now more aware of environmental and familial aspects and causative of intimate partner violence. In this case, the family background of an individual can have an impact on their involvement with intimate partner violence (Breiding, et al, 2014). There is a cycle of violence that is repetitive. It begins with a father who transfers it to their sons who then do the same to their children. The violence goes on and on within the family for generations. While some individuals are exceptional and break away from the cycle of violence, evidence from different studies have showcased that many people remain attached to these habits. The rationale is that children learn a lot from their parents. The course provided the basis of the learned behavior theory that influenced my change in perception about how domestic violence begins. It has strong roots in one's childhood and overall environment. If a childhood is toxic and filled with violence, a child begins dissociating from normal behavior and associated IPV to conflict resolution.
My attitude towards victims is now empathetic than it was before. I have changed my perception on domestic violence being something that one can merely wipe off and proceed with their lives. I have learnt that many victims require serious counseling after being exposed to domestic violence. They suffer from PTSD and feelings of unworthiness that could be detrimental to their overall growth (Breiding, 2014). The victims find it difficult to readjust to life outside their relationships and need help. Hence, I changed my thinking about avoidance after the victimization of intimate partner violence and begun thinking of the difficulty involved in readjusting to life after such an ordeal.
Class Concepts and Experience
Course concepts such as the societal aspects that cause violence and sustains its growth led me to think differently about intimate partner violence. For instance, aspects like male patriarchy make it easy for women to become victims of domestic violence in the society (Breiding, 2014). Many do not have the courage to leave and speak about the violence they have endured because of a society that places men above women. The issue often leads to women thinking they have no place of refuge in a society that is widely controlled and supported by made superiority. After I learnt about this, I conducted further research and realized that communities that have higher levels of male patriarchy report increased instances of domestic partner violence. For instance, the issue is prevalent among minority families that have tendencies to place men above their female counterparts (Breiding, 2014). Moreover, I learnt of how issues such as poverty cause intimate partner violence. In this case, I now understand why some women from poor backgrounds hardly leave their relationships. They not only feel shameful, but consider the financial implications if they are not independent enough. The issue becomes even more complex when they have children and sacrifice their happiness for their young ones.
The course also had concepts such as community programs and providing intervention strategies to prevent intimate partner violence and give the victim choices (Roy, 2016). It was then that I learnt the level of emotional turmoil the victims go through and why it is important for the community to have programs that support and give them the courage to leave when relationships become violent.
Lastly, my change of heart comes from my experiences with intimate partner violence. I have lived in avoidance for a very long time even though it is difficult to live a fairly normal life. For instance, I have problems with finding a loving relationship because I have low self-esteem. I do not regard myself as worthy and end up repeating the patterns of abuse by choosing the wrong partners. I have experienced intimate partner violence and my learning in this course opened my eyes to my own suffering and those of others. I also came to understand recurrent patterns not only for the abuser but the victims as well, which made me more convinced that most people do not have a choice and suffer immensely.
References
Breiding, M. J. (2014). Prevalence and characteristics of sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence victimization-National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, United States, 2011. Morbidity and mortality weekly report. Surveillance summaries (Washington, DC: 2002), 63(8), 1.
Breiding, M. J., Chen, J., & Black, M. C. (2014). Intimate partner violence in the United States--2010.
McDonald, C., & Belknap, J. (2014). Intimate partner violence. The Encyclopedia of Criminology and Criminal Justice.
Roy, T. (2016). Intimate partner violence. In Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Healthcare (pp. 125-140). Springer, Cham.
Sugg, N. (2015). Intimate Partner Violence. Medical Clinics, 99(3), 629-649.
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