Research Paper on Forgiveness & Reconciliation: Building a Better Future

Introduction

Alan Paton admitted that "It is not "forgive and forget" as if nothing wrong had happened, but forgive and go forward," building on the mistakes of the past and the energy generated by reconciliation to create a new future" (1). Such entails a deeply held positivity towards creating a new frontier and a new path to holistic living. According to Allan Paton, there is a future to build toward making a better place for all. Desmond Tutu also acknowledged that "without forgiveness, without reconciliation, we have no future" (Meiling1). Forgiveness and reconciliation build on promoting the restoration of justice and broken relationships. Wringe argued that forgiveness and reconciliation form the basis of conflict resolution, which is a critical foundation of peace and the pathway to a future build on love, peace, and justice (1099). The above two quotes by Alan Paton and Desmond Tutu form the basis of my theory of forgiveness and reconciliation that upholds repairing of broken relationships towards building a peaceful future.

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Conflict

The sociological perspective perceives conflict in three primary ways, which include the interactionist view, the human relations view, and the traditional view (Fincham 584). The traditional view upholds that all differences remain unhealthy, and one needs to avoid them in totality. According to the human relations view, conflicts arise from natural courses and occurrences in all relations and need good management instead of elimination (Meiling 1). The interactionist view upholds that conflict has a positive connotation that can provide a road map to good future relations and performance. Thus, according to the interactionist view, conflict can either take the functional or dysfunctional approach (Fincham 584). The functional approach provides support to a group and helps improve performance.

According to Evans, dysfunctional conflict prohibits a group's performance. Conflicts arise out of processes, relationships, and tasks (680). However, conflicts remain inevitable among a group of people or in a relationship. Conflicts can provide a strategic roadmap to establishing the best roadmap to building broken relationships and bettering the future if perceived positively. Unresolved conflict may lead to multiple adverse outcomes, whether the conflict is between groups of people or between individuals (Wringe 1100). Some of the negative aspects of conflict include the deterioration of relations, lack of cooperation, poor external engagement, negative reputation, and tension between individuals and groups. Often, these negative attributes never align with development and growth. Conflict stifles progressive development and chocks good establishment (Fincham 584). If not well-handled and addressed, conflicts serve as the breeding ground of a gloom future lacking positivity and progress.

Conflict may, however, serve an essential purpose, but if viewed positively. Conflict within an organization initiates a change process, prompts decision-making, and gives room for group unity. Fincham contended that conflict allows and provides room for group cooperation, forgiveness, shared opinions, and social change (589). For example, social change conflicts allow for intergroup and interpersonal dynamics that help individuals to remain reflective and fresh. Conflict also strengthens group interaction, cooperation, negotiation, and discussion that further will enable individuals to work towards a common goal and positive outcome. Conflict further inspires creativity in which individuals of groups brainstorm on feasible solutions from diverse perspectives (Fincham 590). The initiatives and efforts towards a social change inspire positivity and well-being for all concerned individuals. Through forgiveness, conflict help in restoring individual faith in human values and open up the avenue for reconciliation for a better tomorrow.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation Theory

Forgiveness forms the foundation of reconciliation and the process of distinguishing the wrong things from what the society considers to be right (Evans 678). The concept of forgiveness entails the basis of the restoration of good and right engagements. At the same time, forgiveness plays an essential role in promoting restorative justice and seeking to find a lasting solution to those harmed and even the wrongdoers. In conflict resolution, Wringe maintained that these two attributes form the foundation of a better tomorrow enhanced cooperation and stronger ties (1099). Conflict resolution entails improving future communication, inspiring creativity, group unity, decision making, and social change. Aligning the above entities of conflict resolution provides a framework of a loving and peaceful future.

Evans added that peace and love entail the very principles of conflict resolution. Improving communication for tomorrow involves committed decision making, social change, and shared respect (678). Forming and formulating conflict resolution towards peace and love entails harnessing forgiveness and reconciliation for a better tomorrow. Forgiving wrongdoing does not entail forgetting too, the whole concept constitute building on the past mistakes towards a better tomorrow. Conflict resolution has five primary techniques critical towards enhancing peaceful coexistence in a typical society. These five methods include accommodating or smoothing, forcing or competing, withdrawal or avoiding, compromising or reconciliation, and problem-solving or collaboration (Paton 1), as discussed below.

Collaboration/Problem Solving

Collaboration plays a vital role in bringing two conflicting people and parties together. The act of problem-solving helps individuals rise above their emotions towards getting the best lead. The technique focuses on finding the best alternative for the best outcome (Fincham588). The method promotes the restoration of justice and broken relationships.

Forcing/Competing

Persons in authority may force conflicting parties to a solution without engaging any of the parties. Although the strategy leads to a win-lose situation, it helps in helping the conflicting parties focus on the resolution instead of the disagreement (Fincham 589). Thus, the solution provides a pathway to the future, creating a framework of collaboration and accommodation for a better future.

Withdrawal/Avoiding

In some conflicting scenarios, one party may decide to disengage from the conflict, especially in a situation where one party shows a high emotional response. By choosing to withdraw or retract, the party mainly avoids further escalation of the conflict, thus cooling off the rising tension (Fincham 590). Through this, a friendly environment arises for the best attempt to a solution. Evans maintained that the situation enhances positive decision making, social change, and group cooperation (679). All the stated attributes play a critical role in preparing the ground for forgiveness and reconciliation, thus opening up new frontiers for a better future.

Reconciliation/Compromising

Some conflicts often require the parties to take a middle ground in which they both resolve to give up on an essential aspect while focusing on a solution (Fincham 580). Through the strategy, the parties open up a new social change anchored on understanding and appeasement.

Accommodating/Smoothing

When a conflict scenario seems to fill up with distrust and apprehension, one party or a mediator may use soothing or providing words to stress or play down the disagreement. Smoothing helps in laying a strong foundation for decision making, improving communication, and social change towards a formidable solution.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness entails a process of giving up one's right for retribution and appreciating the wrongdoer as a "human just like me." Understanding the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation helps in taking the right path to building a better relationship in society. As a process and a choice, forgiveness needs to step from an interpersonal and intrapersonal perspective (Strabbing 272). Despite remaining am enigmatic and complex aspects due to its differing and ways, forgiveness forms the essential feature of human existence. The imperfection of humankind gives room for not only accepting and appreciating their shortcoming but standing ready to take and entertain them as well(Evans 677). Through this appreciation and recognition, one or a society reduces the level of hurt; further making life and the whole process of forgiveness easier.

According to Strabbing, forgiveness entails "letting go" of hard feelings towards another who has caused pain or harm (273). The concept of forgiveness needs to anchor on the firm belief that despite damage or hurt-ache caused by a wrong-doing, the mind needs to ready towards freeing itself from the act. The mind needs to relinquish itself from the hard feelings that come with the need for retaliation(Evans 678). Through this, one develops a flexible attitude towards social issues and fewer expectations from others and life's treatment. As a choice, one opts not to perpetuate a pattern of historical grievance but turns a new page of life for a better and brighter future with the offender or the culprit. Forgiveness helps in opening up a new chapter in life-based on new dimensions, pillars, beliefs, and attitudes.

Reconciliation

After letting go of the hard feeling that comes with forgiveness, such as the need for retaliation, reconciliation stands as the most important aspect of nurturing a positive relationship and a brighter future (Fincham 587). The school of reconciliation attributes the concept as the rebuilding and renewal of strained or broken relationships by the process of overcoming anger, pain, or grief. Strabbing attested that the society and individuals need to build their reconciliation process involving mutual appreciation of past pain or irritation and the constant changing of negative attitudes into a positive and fruitful relationship (273). The primary purpose of reconciliation is restoring a broken or fractured relationship towards maintaining sustainable peace. Building a peaceful environment entails the process of recognizing a shared vision towards a better future, dealing with the past, and facilitating a positive attitudinal and cultural change. All these arise behind the backdrop of recognizing that the future forms part of a more important aspect in society and in relationships than harboring negativity towards wrongdoers.

Building a New Future

All of the above strategies aim at creating a suitable environment for future engagement. Fincham argued that through smoothing, compromise, withdrawal, and forcing, the parties strive to establish a flexible environment for positive collaboration (598). The positive environment comes forth as the future for the parties. Not only is the positive environment critical for the enhancement of forgiveness and reconciliation, but it is also a fundamental aspect of building their relationship and harnessing their cooperation for the common good (Strabbing 279). Desmond Tutu reiterated that without forgiveness and reconciliation, there is no future. From the premise, Desmond Tutu anchored that future interaction will depend how individuals and society understood forgiveness and reconciliation. Evans maintained that parties build the future through concerted efforts of resolving conflicts peacefully, through forgiveness, and reconciliation (679). Conflict resolution entails identifying the mistakes making up disagreements, and making efforts to correct them. Allan Paton focused on building on the mistakes of the past towards establishing a strong foundation for a new and better future.

A better or new future represents a culmination of many rectified mistakes in the past. Through concerted efforts, the...