Couple: _______________ and _____________ Date of Intake Session(s)
August 19, 2015
Ages: Wife (28) Husband (29) Date of Report: June 19,
Marital status: Married 2 years and three months Living Arrangement: Lives
together; no childrenOccupations: Therapeutic Provider: Felicity Smith
Wife (High School English Teacher, Part-time Private Tutor)
Husband (Barrister and Part-Time Golf Player)
Reason for Referral
The _________'s are a Caucasian couple that has been in a relationship for two years and three months. They have dated for five years before formalizing their union by marriage. The primary aim for the couple to be involved in the relationship was to ensure that they had guidance on the increased cases of boredom with each other and predictably neglect to their normal duties in the relationship. They devised a plan that sought to be more engaging and ultimately to have quality time with each other. Before the first interview, the couple was informed of the type of the assessment, their rights, and were assured that whatever kind of talks that they had, would be private and the need for privacy was one that would be of utmost importance for the couples.
The assessment process involved a qualitative assessment procedure with the following steps:
- Filling in of the provided forms about their marriage
- Evaluation of the couple
- Devising a progression therapy and an agreement
History of the dispensing difficulties
The couple's relationship has been riddled with the problems for the last one year, and the husband has always presented the feeling that they have varying meanings of what it means to be in a serious relationship with each other. The husband feels that their perception of what it involves to be in a marriage is different and they hence need to reach a consensus on what each perceives to be the purpose of getting married. Both parties have admitted to the fact that their backgrounds have primarily influenced their perception of what it involves to be married. Presently, they both agree that they have not been working on their marriage and they have contributed to the boredom that they feel is existent in the union.
Significant Life History and Background Information
The couple met at _____________ book club that was a famous club in their former places of residence where they were both active participants in the group and were hence discussing the books frequently. Each couple has an education level of up to the masters' level where each one of them has admitted to having plans of continuing with their doctorate studies. The couple all have parents that have been either married or in a long-term relationship with each other. The wife's father is a widower but has never remarried even after the death of the mother. The husband's parents are both alive and are all staying together as a couple. The concept of family is one that is important to the family and hence looks for time to spend time with the nuclear family. Mainly it is because most of their holidays are consumed with the family and are all meant to ensure that the couple understands the need for one to uphold the familial lives and the expectations that one has in society. The wife can be described as one that is systematic, and the husband is one that is a free spirit. It is hence the unspoken responsibility of the wife to take on the household duty of cleaning and the maintaining the house while the husband provides for the money needed for grocery shopping and even actively is involved in preparing the meals. The two have no qualms about the responsibility arrangement of the two groups that eventually ensure that they live in a peaceful environment. The primary area of contentions stems from these apparent differences that surmounted to almost them having irreconcilable differences.
The couple cited some of the reasons that influenced the people to behave in the manner that they did as the wife confessed to having spied the husband who had three counts of being unfaithful in the relationship. The conflict has also been instigated by the fact that it is vital that one understands the fact that they both admitted having been bored in the relationship and that they stood a chance of being unfaithful to each other in pursuit of doing away with the boredom. The lack of concise communication, hence ensured that the couple remained disgruntled with each other, albeit silently. They both acknowledged the need to talk about the issues that they were presented with, was sometimes ignored as they mostly felt that talking about these situations made them pass as people who were needy or petty.
When they were asked about some of the factors that drove them to reach such an extent, both parties were willing to give their point of view as we tried to reach a comprehensive solution. Both parties agreed to the fact that they had not been spending any significant time and that to have quality time with each other was a venture that demanded the people to have the commitment and actively work towards maintaining the relationship as they would desire. When the wife was prompted to some of the habits that the husband had that contributed to the relationship turning out to be successful, the wife cited reasons such as the claim that the husband was always zoning out. In addition to zoning out the husband had developed a habit that he gaslighted everything that the wife said or complained about. This is in contrary to the wife who was always attentive while they were discussing the feeling that the husband felt was being overlooked in the relationship. Besides, the wife tried to acknowledge the need for her to respect the opinions of her husband without necessarily making her feel as if she was becoming insane. The husband countered that the wife did not try as hard as she had previously done in the past life as she had become reluctant to do the very things that she had done early when they were married. Some of the things include giving him the subtle hints that she craved and that she was in the relationship for the long run as she had now become obsessed with the idea of furthering her education. The wife explained that she was engrossed with the idea of going back to school to improve their credit level and to give them a chance of owning a home shortly. The husband mentioned that her distraction with education and her kids had become a hindrance to them having a fulfilled life in their lives.
Significant medical History
No relevant medical History or anything that would be related to the issue at hand.
Domestic violence/ abuse history
The wife admitted that there had been cases where she emotionally abused the husband by not being supportive and blackmailing the husband to do things that she knows she hates. She also admitted having been abusive and unappreciative to all the efforts that the husband had tried in making their relationship to work.
Previous Mental health
No prior mental health therapies for both the husband and the couple.
Alcohol/ drug abuse
The couple has both admitted to being frequent indulgers in alcoholic beverages. The wife has admitted to having at last two tots of whiskey every day before she sleeps as she has noticed that she gets sleepy at a record time. The husband revealed that he has a drinking problem that makes it hard for the two to hardly spend any time together as he goes to the bar immediately he is done with work. The situation hence makes it hard for the couple to hardly spend any time with each other causing all of them feel bored with each other. The wife also notes that he is an avid smoker who sometimes chain smokes a whole packet of cigarette at a sitting. The husband refutes this observation but acknowledges that it might be right as he is mostly inebriated most of the times he spends with the wife. The wife, on the other hand, admitted to having resorted to using caffeinated products at a higher rate since she is committed to working on her venture for her pursuing her education. The wife is vehemently opposed to the use of the cigarettes as she feels that they affect all of them directly or indirectly. This is a position that is however not presented as a general concern for both parties.
The couple filled the marriage assessment together aided by the therapist. The couple was willing to discuss the information that they presented in the document with each other.
Some of the assessment materials included: to analyses the initial qualities that one found in their partners that had them consent to spend the rest of their lives together. The wife mentioned that the drive and the passion that the husband had about issues and his career when they first met. The husband admitted having been drawn in by the fiery passion that she pursued anything that she felt was achievable. The similarity in the things that initially attracted them to each other serves to show that they entered the union with almost similar aims. The two admitted the fact that it was vital that they had all been attracted to each other and that in between the fights, they had all maintained the characteristics that had initially attracted them to each other.
The next assessment question was, the people were required to elucidate the issues that had driven each one of them apart from each other. The wife described the husband as one who was inconsiderate, adamant and one who had lately become astonishingly selfish in the past three months. The fact that he had also become unfaithful had made the wife to view him as a person who was only committed to looking out for himself only even at the expense of each other. The husband mentioned that her nagging and her obsession with work are some of the reasons that made it seem as if it was a deal breaker for both of the parties.
The next question was for the couple to describe the positive outcomes for their spouse in the present days. The wife described her husband as one who is handy when it comes to repairing faulty objects in the hospital. He is also is one that is willing to do grocery shopping as the wife cleans. The husband described her expertise in preparing sumptuous meals while also being attentive to the details that most people would be compelled to overlook. He says that he still admires the traits that the wife has even today.
The next question was for each person to list the factors that drove every person to do the negative things that they did to each other in the present.
The wife admitted to spending time more in work, she described the husband as being selfish and being insensitive to her feelings. His smoking tendencies were also a factor that irked the wife at great lengths. The husband, on the other hand, described the wife as being uncommitted to the relationship and even not serious about working things out with him. He also argued that she does not see the need to be attractive anymore as she did when they were initially dating.
The next assessment question was to list things that would drive one to do to make the things fulfilling and satisfying to each other. The wife elucidated her organizing her time such that she would have time to give to the husband in quality time, try to respect the privacy of her husband and to be more accommodating to the changing personality of her husband. The husband, on the other hand, admitted to trying to make it work by looking for help with her problem and cutting off any side relationships that she may have had.
As the couple looked at the reasons that their relationship was failing, it was interesting to note that they did not look at the physical appearance but rather their personality. Nagging and infidelity were two persistent negative characteristics t...
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