Irigaray's Ethics of Sex - Essay Example

Introduction

Society has conditioned us regarding the relational nature of women as caregivers compared to career-oriented men (Doukhan, 2020). According to Irigaray, there are three primary stages in the sexual development of an individual and states that there are three methods involved in lovemaking: sex as possession, sex as a solitary act, and finally, the caress. Irigaray views them as natural stages of lovemaking.

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First Stage

Sex as possession is the first stage whereby an individual engages in sex to fulfill a need for power. The individual is usually not in love, and therefore the aim is to satisfy their sexual needs. It is a natural stage, but an individual should evolve from it. She disagrees with Jean-Paul Satre, who is cynical and who states that sex is possessive. Satre says that all actions are never about love and is always a method to seduce an individual “in Being and Nothingness, Jean-Paul Satre maintains that the only possible way is to enchant him” (Irigaray). However, Irigaray believes that his view is stunted and that such a view leads to solitary. She states that an individual must evolve from this stage of sex.

Second Stage

The second stage is sex as a solitary act that involves self-exploration, which Irigaray views as an essential aspect of sexual development. However, sometimes, it becomes an obsession, and the individual forgets that the aim of sexuality is to share sexual energy with another individual. Sex as a solitary act sometimes replaces the real relationship. The sexual energy should be shared with another individual because of its healing properties. Some of these properties include the healing of blockages and trauma. Therefore, sex as a solitary act must not replace the sexual relationship between a man and a woman. Irigaray disagrees with Maurice Merleau-Ponty, who believes that sex is a solitary act “as a result, sexuality does not favor the emergence of intersubjectivity but, instead, maintains a duplicity in subjectivity itself” (Irigaray).

Third Stage

Caress is the third stage of sexual development. It involves love, which creates a deep connection with another individual. It is characterized by two individuals having amazing sex. Levinas states the significance of foreplay, especially to women. Foreplay encompasses both the emotional and physical aspects. Foreplay has two significant aspects, which are the ethical aspect and the pleasurable aspect of foreplay. The ethical aspect is essential as it expresses the “you” aspect of the woman. Foreplay provides the woman with her “you” aspect and, therefore, helps the woman feel like a woman and not a sexual object.

Title “To be Two”

The title ‘to be two’ represents a relationship between two individuals and the significance of an individual discerning who they are before committing into a relationship. Irigaray states that a woman should view their true self before listening to what other individuals think you should be (Doukhan, 2020). Irigaray states that there is a need for space to nurture the relationship. The first aspect involves determining who an individual is. Such will be critical in teaching the other individual to value their worth. Irigaray highlights the significance of an individual knowing their true self before getting into a relationship.

Women usually forget who they are and their desires. However, Irigaray states the significance of an individual knowing themselves before getting into a relationship where they will be two “ I must protect the silence in me, and I must respect the silence of the other” (Irigaray). Women must identify their true desires. Irigaray says that a woman should not sacrifice who she is when getting into a relationship. When a woman destroys her desires, self-esteem, dreams, and integrity, she destroys the relationship’s passion. Such is the case because an individual must exist for there to be two. Before an individual loves another person, an individual must know and love themselves.

Virginity is a concept that refers to an individual’s ability to be at rest in oneself. It involves the acceptance of oneself independently of what other individuals have for the individual. It involves an individual connecting with him/herself and lies in a woman’s true connectedness with herself and her God. It is very critical to maintaining love and her relationship.

Conclusion

To hold the space for another individual is essential as it provides an opportunity for the other person’s growth. It is vital to protect silence and provides space for the other individual to grow without giving ultimatums and respecting the evolution of the other. There are two types of women (Doukhan, 2020). One of these is the victim who sacrifices to fulfill the needs of the other. The emancipated woman, on the other hand, refers to the impatient women who are successful. Irigaray, however, illustrates another type of woman who loves and provides men the space to change. The women concurrently acknowledge their value. Such is the labor of love, which presents the paradox of allowing another individual the space to grow while standing up for yourself.

References

Doukhan, A. (2020). To be two: part 1. YouTube. https://youtu.be/TZd5hc_0XGc

Doukhan, A. (2020). To be two: part 2. YouTube. https://youtu.be/E4icudqce7Y

Irigaray, L. (2001). To be two. Routledge.