Essay Sample on Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Introduction

Abuse comes in different forms. It can either be emotional abuse, physical (the victim is hit, punched, or kicked) or sexual (Bermea et al., 2020). I agree I can identify the characteristic of a healthy relationship, these traits include mutual respect and acknowledgment between the partners, reciprocity, commitment during both good and bad times, trusting each other, and knowing the boundaries. Also, there should be healthy communication where the partners can discuss their issues maturely and respectfully, and they should be flexible as well (open to change). Ideally, the information that I already knew about the characteristics of a healthy relationship is respecting and trusting each other as those are the most addressed in our daily lives. The new traits that I have learned are being open to changes since I have always known that each partner is entitled to do what pleases them at any time.

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For a young adult, it is very essential to know the signs of a potentially abusive relationship. It enables an individual to know when to seek help or step aside if the situation is worse. Often, this is achieved when people track their feelings and get to know if they are experiencing negative feelings due to loneliness, fear, or even depression. Young adults can as well observe if the communication is healthy or not, this is whether there is honesty and openness in the relationship. Besides, knowing the signs of potentially abusive relationships also prevent unnecessary deaths from occurring since most abusers start by controlling their partner's mind and emotions hence it is always hard to notice that one is in a relationship with an abuser.

The Red Flags

Looking back at some of the relationships from my friends and family members, I agree I can easily identify some of the red flags in an abusive relationship. The red flags include either of the partners trying to embarrass the other fellow by putting them down, the abusers being in control of people the victims should see or places they should and should not visit, and some even put restrictions on the family members a person should interact with (Bermea et al., 2020). There are other red flags such as the abuser taking the victim’s money or denying them money for their expenses as well, some are also hindered from making their own decisions, there are cases of being denied access to education or work, the abusers have the tendency of destroying properties and giving death threats to the victims which includes intimidation with guns or weapons, and victims are hit (slapped or chocked). The abusers are always full of threats. They occasionally threaten the victims that they might commit suicide due to what they have done. Besides, they like putting too much pressure on the victims. These include forcing them to indulge in sexual activities even when they do not feel like, they are also forced to use drugs, and some are prevented from using birth control thus they might get pregnant even when they have no plans of raising a child.

Ideally, most victims of abusive relationships stay in them because most of them have been brainwashed and do not see that they are suffering or in danger. The abusers are manipulative and make the victims feel sorry and think that they are always bad people and should apologize for their mistakes. Some encounter attachment issues and always want to stick by their abusers until it is too late or battered to death. In some cases, the victims grew up in abusive environments where it was normal for their parents or guardians to fight each other daily and still the parents decided to stay together (Baholo et al., 2015). The reason behind this is because most couples have sired children and are afraid to raise them alone or even the fear of being laughed at with the society in the belief that one could not build a family, so they decide to stay. Self-esteem plays an important role in an abusive relationship, though most victims have low self-esteem issues as they have been made to believe that no one likes them except the abusers due to their physical looks or mental status thus they always do not consider leaving their abusers due to such. Individuals with high self-esteem or confidence always find it easy to leave a relationship if it becomes toxic. The abusive relationships are not only limited to females as males also encounter abuses. Anyone can be toxic despite being a male or female. It is a character in a person and not gender-based. Though the most commonly abused people are females.

Conclusion

Due to the increasing cases of domestic violence, I would teach my children and remind them every single day of their worth. I would start nurturing them at a very early age that they are worthy of. Once they reach adolescence stage I would expand it to abusive relationship issues, the red flags, the do’s and what not to do in a relationship, and still remind them that coming back home alive is better than coming back in a coffin.

It is my business to help a relative or a friend in an abusive relationship. It can only be done when they know that they are in an abusive relationship. I would do this by offering my piece of advice and informing them of the red flags as well as seeking further legal services from the necessary departments. To make them leave the toxic relationships, I would remind them of how important they are and how many people still believe in them and want them alive.

References

Bermea, A. M., Khaw, L., Hardesty, J. L., Rosenbloom, L., & Salerno, C. (2020). Mental and active preparation: Examining variations in women’s processes of preparing to leave abusive relationships. Journal of interpersonal violence, 35(3-4), 988-1011. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0886260517692332

Baholo, M., Christofides, N., Wright, A., Sikweyiya, Y., & Shai, N. J. (2015). Women's experiences leaving abusive relationships: a shelter-based qualitative study. Culture, Health & Sexuality, 17(5), 638-649. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25470526/