Essay on Mother/Daughter Relationship in "My Teenage Werewolf"

Introduction

Mother/daughter relationship is one of the central themes in the non-fictional narrative, "My Teenage Werewolf." The story describes how biological, cognitive and social changes in Lizzie, a twelve-year-old girl, complicate her relationship with her mother. As the girl enters adolescence, she develops some vulnerability, making it difficult for her mother to continue relating to her as the same innocent child she has been. Owing to the bad relationship she had with her own mother, Kessler developed justifiable fears when she realizes that she is increasingly getting at odds with her daughter. Therefore, she develops a keen interest in understanding Lizzie to avoid severing their relationships through conflicts. Kessler goes far out of her way to monitor the girl closely. She scrutinizes every area of Lizzie's life including her summer camp, athletic, online, leisure, and school activities as well as her friends. Also, she studies lots of literature and consults many experts on how a mother should relate with a daughter. As she learns the causes of the common turmoil between her and Lizzie, Kessler realizes that it is far more demanding for a mother to relate positively with their daughters than sons.

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Kessler realized that one of the main causes of conflict their mother/daughter relationship was Lizzie's need for autonomy. As she got into adolescence, the girl began to feel that she needed to make her own decisions regarding her life. But because she could not express this drive openly to her mother, she often displayed random mean behaviors and irritability. Teenagers value autonomy because it gives them the feeling of being independent of adults, capable and unique (Wainright, Russell & Patterson, 2004). However, when Kessler recognizes this need, she begins to approach Lizzie with greater understanding and compassion, but Lizzie does not always respond the same way.

As the narrative provides a detailed account of the terrible development taking place in Lizzie, Kessler explains the challenge of parenting a teenage girl from a broad perspective. She analyzes the changes that take place in the brain of an adolescent, resulting in the kind of behavior that they exhibit. The author holds that between the age of 12 and 19, the human brain changes significantly. Therefore, the brains of all teenagers should be considered unfinished products. The frontal lobes of the brain, which control impulse, emotions, rationality, and morality, keep developing until one reach early adulthood. At some point, the author wonders how an adolescent can act rationally (Wainright, Russell & Patterson, 2004). The author does not mean that adolescence causes mental impairment. From an observation of her daughter, Kessler appreciates that teenagers are prone to suggest that teenagers require limits, guidance, and oversight throughout adolescence because their brains have not finished developed.

Moreover, the book has many instances where Kessler disagrees with her daughter over food. Sometime, Lizzie would refuse to eat breakfast or any other meal without a good reason. Although they never had any violent confrontation about the girl's feeding habit, Lizzie's new behavior got Kessler concerned. As girls grow from childhood to adolescence, their bodies undergo many biological changes, some of which alter physical appearance. For instance, from the age of thirteen, many girls begin to see their breasts and hips enlarging. It is also common to put in more weight at this stage. In the book, Kessler had problems with Lizzie on food choices because she feared that her daughter was gaining weight. It takes her time to understand that Lizzie was not concerned with her weight at that age. In fact, Kessler acknowledges that the whole idea was about her and not Lizzie. Kessler thus reveals one of the most difficult tasks in bringing up a daughter: differentiating between your interests and what they want.

A lot of sexual development also takes place during the teenage years. As their bodies and brains continue to develop, teenagers begin to develop the need for intimacy. Therefore, they seek to relate with people of opposite sex (Newman & Newman, 2017). Kessler says that like many other women, she feared the idea of her daughter beginning to engage in sexual relationships. That is the reason she sought to know whom Lizzie associates with, whom she communicates with on her phone as well as over the internet. At this point, the children develop a different need for intimacy. They detach themselves from their sweethearts within the family and replace them with peers.

Also, children make long-lasting behavioral adjustments during adolescence because it is the point where they define their identities. They suddenly become conscious of their sexuality, gender, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Based on how they perceive themselves, children develop behaviors and attitudes that stick with them into adulthood (Newman & Newman, 2017). As we see in the book, it is the best stage where parents need to step up discipline. It can help to establish new limits and boundaries to nurture positive behavior. Kessler does not only propose this idea but uses it to motivate Lizzie to work harder in school. When she gets a low grade in mathematics, her parents forbid her from using the internet. That way, they introduced punishment, which is negative reinforcement of failure in school.

Upon attaining the age of 13, Lizzie developed new behaviors. Besides being irritable, she suddenly withdrew from her mother and became moody, sharp-tongued and defiant. The story demonstrates that being an adolescent was the reason behind her infuriation. Since hormones control mood, teenagers must be prone to mood swings because brain development destabilizes hormonal production.

The manner in which Kessler dealt with Lizzie shows that she is empathetic and likable. Despite Lizzie's regular violent outbursts, her mother remained calm and avoided confrontation over the unbecoming behavior. Making an effort to understand her adolescent daughter benefits her duty to provide care and guidance to Lizzie. Endeavoring to see Lizzie through the eye of an adolescent makes Kessler a wiser mother for her daughter. Eventually, she discovers that the central issue in a mother-daughter relationship is possession and sharing of power. We see this coming into play in nearly all interactions between the two. In her relationship with Lizzie, Kessler learns how to wield, maneuver, and shift power dynamics in a defter manner.

Conclusion

In conclusion, "My Teenage Werewolf" depicts the complex relationship between a mother and a teenage daughter. Through the real-life experiences of Kessler and her daughter Lizzie, the story shows how the biological, social, and cognitive changes that occur in female adolescents affect their relationships with their mothers, who must give them care, guidance, and support. It proves that as their brains and bodies change, teens become more aware of their identities and sexuality as well as the need for intimacy and autonomy. Like Lizzie, female teens tend to be emotional and prone to violent acts during these years. As such, their mothers need to be in touch with the changes to know how to relate effectively with them.

References

Newman, B. M., & Newman, P. R. (2017). Development through life: A psychosocial approach. Cengage Learning.

Wainright, J. L., Russell, S. T., & Patterson, C. J. (2004). Psychosocial adjustment, school outcomes, and romantic relationships of adolescents with samesex parents. Child development, 75(6), 1886-1898.