I spent a day at a domestic violence shelter comprised of ten women who had undergone different cases of domestic abuse. I actively listened to their stories and tried to encourage them by empathizing with their situation—the event aimed at being compassionate with the situation that the women were undergoing. I believe compassion means treating others, in the same way, I would love to be treated in times of need. Therefore, I tried not to judge them for their shortcomings but to understand how it feels when confronted with challenges. Although the group was comprised of women and children, my efforts were mainly directed to the women. Most of the women felt embarrassed about their condition, but after their visit, they showed the willingness to surmount whatever they were undergoing and work towards a better future.
Most of the women felt I strongly understood what they were going through, and the experiences we shared helped most of them acknowledge they are valued. However, some of them felt I was one of the usual visitors that were only there to encourage them, and what I felt was nothing compared to what they had undergone. I encouraged most of them to be open and share their stories on how they cope with the challenges they had encountered. As I listened to their stories, I reminded them of their strengths and qualities and how they can overcome the situation. Some of them felt a difference in my behavior because, as I narrated the stories to each other, I was so emotional, which was not the case with them. Some of them confused me with an activist for women's rights, and the decision to visit them was an encouragement that no other women will be faced with the same situation. I think they felt that way because I encouraged them that.
Putting your in someone's else shoe does not just about relating personal experiences to another the situations that one is undergoing. I once encountered a friend who was a victim of domestic violence and felt bitter that she had lost her job because of the violence. The woman's situation has all long been affecting my judgment of the feeling of domestic violence victims. However, it is not always the case. In my encounter with domestic violence victims, I realized that every person has unique feelings. By putting yourself into their shoes, one needs to be objective and not be guided by personal experiences.
Conclusion
I learned that domestic violence is a learned behavior, just like other forms of violence. Some norms support violent behavior, and as such, it can be stopped by promoting ways that prevent violent practices. Thus, one way to lessen violence is getting involved as a volunteer in anti-crime and other community improvement efforts, such as advising the youth about the benefits of living in a neighborhood that does not practice violence. I can as well encourage them to be part of social and religious societies to help end violence.
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