Children and Death: Understanding the Impact at Different Ages - Essay Sample

Introduction

Children face different kinds of challenges and dilemmas when death occurs. Children of different ages have different responses and knowledge of Death, Dying, and Bereavement depending on their age and their exposure to information. Age influences the ability of the children to understand issues; hence the age of the child is a determinant of the response of the child regarding death. The purpose of the paper is to evaluate the knowledge and different perspectives of children regarding death.

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Children respond differently to death and news related to death, depending on their relationship to the person who has died and their age. There are children who do not know anything regarding death; hence they are unable to understand issues regarding death (Mellow, 2019). The older the individual, the more the person understands death and the consequences that follow after someone dies, especially to the people who relied on the person who has died. The children rely on their parents; hence they are the most affected when their guardians die. The children will take more time to cope after the death of their loved ones because they will have challenges living on their own.

Children understanding of bereavement are far different from that of adults. After the death of a loved one, sometimes people focus consoling the adults, not considering that the children also require emotional support (Balk, 2010). It is easy to assume that the children, especially those under five years, do not understand much about death, so they are not as much affected by death as the adults. Also, the children may be unconsidered because the adults are handling the grief themselves and therefore are not in a stable state of talking to their children about death. Imagine a situation where a married man passes away. The wife, as well as close family members, will be grieving, and if there is no person to comfort the children, they will be affected by death as much or even more than the adults.

In some instances, parents and relatives protect the children by not telling them about the death of a loved one. This, however, is not the most appropriate approach because they will notice that something is wrong. They will subsequently be confused and anxious and may inquire about what is happening. However, the children's knowledge of bereavement depends on their age. Older children are more knowledgeable about death and dying, and the bereavement period may be longer than that of adults (Balk, 2010). For different stages, there are significant actions that can be taken to comfort the children.

Infants are affected by death, especially if it is of a close person such as a mother who he/she is strongly attached to. Infants can be comforted through physical reassurance by, for example, holding the baby and trying to treat him/her as the mother did. The baby may cry and be restless, but with activities such as physical contact, cuddling, and speaking softly to calm the child. It is essential for the person who is taking care of the infant to exercise patience as the child may cry uncontrollably, especially if the person is a stranger to them. Infants, however, adapt to changes easily so they can cope with the loss of their normal routine is maintained (Balk, 2010).

Comforting of children aged two to six years requires disclosure about death since they have some sense of understanding (Balk, 2010). However, in this stage, the children do not understand what causes death, and some of them view death as sleep and believe they will see the person again. The preschool children are confused about death, and in the bereavement period, they may ask questions about death repetitively. They also experience frightening dreams, and they may exhibit anger through yelling and hitting. Children in this stage can be comforted by answering the questions honestly and encouraging them to engage in fun activities. It is also important to let the child express their feelings by crying as it helps in relieving emotions.

At the age of 6 to 8 years, the children have a brief understanding of death. During the bereavement period, the children can be comforted by encouraging them to engage in activities such as sports, reading, watching, or any other activity that the child enjoys. Children enjoy the closeness, and they can be consoled through hugs, cuddles, and holding (Balk, 2010). These actions boost love, stability, and promote closeness. Since the children at this age have some knowledge about death, it is important to answer their questions honestly.

Children in the pre-adolescent age have more solid information about death and dying, and their bereavement process is more intense. In this stage, the children need emotional support to deal with fear and anxiety (Balk, 2010). A bereaved child in this stage can be comforted by being encouraged to express themselves verbally. They should also be provided with counseling when they are ready to talk. Since they know death, they should be encouraged to grow from grief. Emotional support is vital in preventing depression and suicidal thoughts. The adolescents can also be supported using the actions for comforting the pre-adolescents. To achieve maximum success, it is important to conduct psychological tasks in a series.

The first tasks involve understanding about death and self-protection. During the middle phase, the bereaved children are involved in tasks that include acceptance of the situation as well as reworking (Baker, Sedney, & Gross, 1992). Some children may feel that the deceased may be on a trip and will be back. For the older children such as those in the pre-adolescent and adolescent stage, they should accept the reality and focus on moving on.

The third phase involves tasks that help in identification and development. During this phase, it is essential to encourage the children to adjust to living without the deceased (Baker, Sedney, & Gross, 1992). This, however, does not mean encouraging them to forget the deceased person because this is practically impossible. For younger children, tasks such as playing their favorite games can greatly help. For the older children, socializing and keeping themselves can help in reducing the grieving thoughts. They can, for example, watch a favorite movie or play games to cheer them up. They should also not be left alone for a long time, especially when they are extremely emotional as they may be overwhelmed with emotions and get depressed.

Most children know death from articles that they read and stories that they hear from the people who have died. Most of them have never experienced death in their families; hence when someone dies, they get affected the most psychologically (DeBellis, 2017). The children get confused about what will happen in terms of how they will be able to continue with their lives, especially in instances where close family members or other siblings don't have the capacity to take care of them. The more the children are supported during the death of their loved ones, the more they are likely to cope with the challenges that come after death.

Children need to be given time to mourn when death happens to a close friend or relative. Counseling might also help in instances where the children have emotional challenges to help the child deal with the loss (DeBellis, 2017). Children react differently; hence the concerned people will choose whether to offer counseling or not depending on age and how the child will be able to continue with their lives in the future without the person who has died. The community needs to understand that their response will influence the ability of the child to move on with their lives after the children experience the death of their close people. The community needs to support the children to continue with their lives.

The children's understanding of death is different from one child to the other. The children that have experienced before might be aware of the consequences that follow when their loved ones die. Many children do not know that death is inevitable, and once death occurs, it's permanent and cannot be reversed (DeBellis, 2017). The more the child understands death, the easier the child will be able to cope with the outcomes that happen after death, where the child will no longer get the support that they used to get from the dead person. Children with no understanding of death fill the gaps by embracing their close people that are let with the responsibility of taking care of the children.

Children of younger ages between one and three years do not know anything regarding dying when compared to the children of above four years who may have an idea about dying, especially if they know of a person of has died (Mellow, 2019). Children do not know that one day they will eventually die and the causes of death. The children in school may be influenced by their colleagues regarding what happens to people that make the people die. The children need to understand what happens to the people who have died where their bodies no longer function and that the reason why dead people are unable to continue with their lives.

The children get confused when some die and fear what will happen to them in the future. The behavior of the children is likely to change where the children adjust to the changes that occur when they lose someone (Mellow, 2019). The more days go by after the children have lost their loved ones when they begin to accept the reality that they will no longer have the person with them. Time heals hence, and different people have different timeframes that they take before they heal. The way the friends comfort their loved ones also influences the healing of the affected children. The culture of the community also influences the children in terms of how the community takes death.

Conclusion

In conclusion, age is a major factor that determines whether children have any knowledge regarding death or not. The community has the responsibility of supporting children who lose their loved ones, such as parents, to death to make them cope with the situation. The people that live with the children are the ones who teach and inform the children about death, and what happens that makes people die. The community comforts the children once they are bereaved, helping them cope with the situation.

References

DeBellis, R. (Ed.). (2017). Loss of Grief and Care: A Journal of Professional Practice. Haworth Press.

Mellow, A. (2019). Children's Understanding of Death: Developmental Guidelines. Retrieved 18 March 2020, from https://journals.sagepub.com/home/jgp

Balk, D. (2010). Children's encounters with death, bereavement, and coping. Springer Publishing Company.

Baker, J. E., Sedney, M. A., & Gross, E. (1992). Psychological tasks for bereaved children. American journal of orthopsychiatry, 62(1), 105-116.