Abstract
The state of being a spouse may be difficult and distressing. Having a spouse deployed for military duty in another country may accelerate the effect further especially if it was the wartime period. The military spouse may be left worrying about the safety and whether those engaged in war will come back in one piece. It is usually recommended that both the spouses should find a means of sitting down and addressing the concern to lessen the effect. In case viable means are not adopted, then it may be difficult for the situation to get mitigated. Some of the effects that will be discussed in line with my personal experience and the three pillars of positive psychology include anxiety and depression, emotional unrest, physical health risks and the depression on matters of family planning. It is also worth noting that the topical concern will be addressed in line with the three pillars of psychology. They include resilience, forgiveness and personal empathy.
Personal Experience
Three Pillars of Positive Psychology
Positive psychology gets construed as the study of conditions which aim at promoting the optimal development or thrive of individuals, groups, and institutions. The concept may also be opined differently, for example, both Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi described it as a scientific discipline that concerns the state of stability and success that stood at the helm of the three pillars, resilience, forgiveness and personal empathy. The kind of psychology also allows a person to offer an assessment on the experiences which form part of human life and contribute in making them better. For a spouse to reach the optimal level, he or he must first understand the positives and negatives associated with the military job. It is only from the case that the negative effects of military deployment will be reduced.
Positive psychology also includes the positive traits which involve the positive experiences and emotions. Such experiences will help in the personal analysis of virtues and strengths. They can allow a spouse of military personnel to acquire the strength of working on the effects that are emotionally attached. For example, in the case of emotional unrest, the deployment may lead to psychological upheaval for the spouses. The effect may also be coupled with guilt, anger, low self-esteem, intolerance amongst the children and in some events may lead to suicide. Therefore, the positive traits within the positive psychology will make the spouses learn to acquire the strength of challenging the effects which may come with their husband's deployment. Further discussion will delve on the three main pillars and their role in the effects of military deployment on their spouses.
Resilience
It gives reference to the design of positive adaptation in the framework of diversity. This may be passed or present. The interactions and associations of human beings across various levels may lead to the fostering of resilience both for a person and other units of relations. In essence, the kind of responsibilities that come with the military job should offer the resilience needed in persevering any effect which may come forth to the spouses. Resilience enables the military spouse to have patience and avoid scenarios which may come with anxiety and depression. The military personnel can also help their spouses develop resilience by talking about to them about the nature of the job and the risks they have survived and how they can stay safe. They should not only rely on the negative dimension but also inform them about the positives that come with it, for example, ensuring that the country is safe and saving lives on a daily basis. This will help their spouses view them more of saviors of humanity rather than those who put their lives in line whenever they are deployed for a course. Resilience will enable the spouses to develop a strategy of the positives and negatives and staying strong even when the deployment involves war. It will also help them protect the oath taken by their spouses of remaining truthful to their military course.
Forgiveness
The other important issue which may help in addressing the effect of military deployment is on forgiveness. In consideration of the kind of job, being with the family at home may not be easy. Even if the time is availed, it may not be enough to spend with the spouse. Therefore, cases of infidelity may be expected or other marital violence which may call for forgiveness to allow peace and continuation of life to take the course. Forgiveness, therefore, entails many positive outcomes. For example, it helps in giving the true understanding of what life entails and enables one to be satisfied and hopeful about a better future. It may also mean the act of ceasing or stopping resentment or giving up on a claim based on the aspect of requital. Based on the definition, forgiveness requires that both the spouses must be ready to realize the challenges involved while considering the nature of activities that exist between them.
It is important to realize that spouses that forgive their partners give life a better meaning than those. It shows that they are mature and have a greater understanding level. For example, infidelity is a possible effect of military deployment on the spouses. They may feel lonely and may develop the urge of filling the gap only to realize that they have betrayed their marital oath. Even though it is understandable for the action to raise emotions and bring about conflict, it is upon the military spouse to realize that indeed his or her absence creates a gap that needs perseverance for the other spouse to maintain. Forgiveness must, therefore, be considered for normalcy to return and measures are taken to ensure that the mistake is not repeated. For example, taking a long leave to stay with the spouse or persuading the spouse on the wrong side for counseling sessions to further understand the of being a military officer. Forgiveness may also be opined from the dimension of a healing process. It eases the pain and allows the virtue of humanity take control over a person. The drawn makes it an important concern on the military job. Most effects associated with military activities are those that are brought by the absence of one partner as noted previously. It is common to find a spouse of a military personnel complaining of neglect; such may be true since the job is too demanding, but forgiveness will help in easing the associated pain that the spouse may experience and bring everything back to normalcy.
Positive Empathy
Positive empathy is also an important issue of positive psychology which should be given considerations when it comes to the effects of military deployment on the spouses. The terminology gets construed as the tendency to put yourself into another person's experiences. In the layman's language, it may mean putting yourself in another person's shoes. It is, therefore, an essential part of the management of the emotional effects that come with military deployment. It requires a person to acquire an element of familiarity or connection coupled with a reaction which may be viewed from the verbal or the nonverbal perspective. Positive empathy also nurtures an emotional link between the military personnel and the spouse with the aim of enabling both the spouses to have the feeling that each possess. Even though it may be faced with the challenges hence making the situational relation difficult, it should be embraced for the mitigation of cases of anxiety or emotional distress that come with military deployment. Positive empathy usually begins with intuition and have an ending on the prediction of the emotional responses of another person. Some of the stages involved include intuition, connection, and consideration. Intuition involves the instinctive understanding of an issue without the involvement of the conscious part of the brain. Connection helps in enabling one to relate the feeling instinctively with the person involved while consideration takes to account the situation and helps in the process of making a sound judgment.
Most studies also predict that positive empathy shows many relations with commitment, trust, intimacy, and matters satisfaction. Therefore, the military personnel can always mitigate the effects which may come with their deployment by putting themselves in the emotional state of their spouses. They will come to learn how to address any problem that may come with it and help them in developing a better understanding. The spouses can also practice the same; they will realize that their partners who are in the military also suffer inwardly but have nothing to do when duty calls. Positive empathy is a psychological pillar which when given consideration can lead to making better the understanding of any situation involved and helping spouses understand each other even in the worst of their moments. It also fosters the strength of developing commitments and increasing the trust and intimacy where either would have begun to cease. The kind of empathy may also take the dimension of the verbal and the nonverbal expressions. Such expressions will determine whether the effects can be solved or if the possibility is null. Therefore, their presence plays a significant role in ensuring that the kind of empathy works without any associated conflicting ideology.
Conclusion
The research formed an important area in enabling me to address the effects of military deployment through the three pillars of positive psychology. The pillars included resilience which entailed the spouses developing the virtue of patience and perseverance amidst the challenges that may be involved. There was also forgiveness where the spouses should be able to forgive one another due to chances of infidelity as noted in the paper. The other concern was on positive empathy which is beneficial to both the spouses and enhances understanding. It was discussed based on intuition, connections, and consideration. The three pillars of positive psychology can, therefore, enable both the spouses to focus on their goals and things that matter to their lives other than clinging to the negative effects of military deployment.
References
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Cohn, Michael A., et al. "Happiness Unpacked: Positive Emotions Increase Life Satisfaction by Building Resilience." Emotion, vol. 9, no. 3, 2009, p. 361, doi: 10.1037/a0015952.
Gable, Shelly L., and Jonathan Haidt. "What (and Why) Is Positive Psychology?" Review of General Psychology, vol. 9, no. 2, 2005, pp. 103-110. doi:10.1037/1089-2680.9.2.103.
Hill, E.W. (2001). Understanding forgiveness as discovery: Implications for marital and family therapy. Contemporary Family Therapy, 23, 369-384.
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