Research Paper on Effects of Divorce for Children

Introduction

The issue of divorce and its subsequent impact on the development of children has been extensively dominated numerous debate platforms for a while. Apparently, family separation is not something to be celebrated or encouraged, considering the awful experiences that the affected child goes through. Unfortunately, the incidence of the occurrence of divorce is obscenely high. According to research, a third to a half of all American children will witness their parents breaking up (Frank, Morgan, & Allison, 1987). Almost half of this number will go through the divorce of their parent's second marriage. Also, in every ten children from the first divorce, one is likely to experience a third divorce of their parent's subsequent marriages. Children from divorced partners are likely to encounter both the short and long term effects of separation. However, according to child psychologists and development scholars, there are potential benefits that may accrue to the child as a result of parent's marital dissolution.

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Pros

Divorce Develops the Emotional intelligence of the Children

In most cases, before a married couple decides to divorce, the family is usually gone through many tough and depressing times. Individuals in happy marriages and functional families seldom file for divorce proceedings. Mostly, it is a last-ditch option after trying all other possible ways to solve their marital problems. More often than not, children are exposed to the emotional tensions and strife between their parents before, during, and after the divorce. Due to the early exposure to such an extreme spectrum of emotions, they learn to be more perceptive of other people's feelings (Shemin, 2016). In their attempt to understand the changes taking place in their lives and the disintegration of their parents love for each other, they develop compassion, empathy, sensitivity, and insight.

Divorce Teaches Children to be Fair-minded

Occasionally, many children who grow up in broken marriages turn out to have an even-minded approach to all aspects of life, especially when dealing with others. Divorce cases expose children to a state of confusion. Most of the time, they are used as bargaining chips by both parents. Since they are minors, they seldom have a say in their future. Thus, their input is highly ignored. Therefore, they are left to make tough and stiff decisions about their situation, which forces them to either pick a side or decide where the blame lies. A good number of them often grow up between two homes, especially where the court arranges for co-parenting. They find themselves shuttled between two homes, with the narratives put forth by either parent about the situation likely to be skewed in their favour (Shemin, 2016). Since children's love for their parents is rarely in question at the time of the marital problems, they are bound to develop an egalitarian view of the world.

Independence

Often, most of the children from divorced parents develop a good streak of autonomy compared to those raised in a complete family setting. This is because once the parents go their separate ways; they are left with only one parent to take care of them (Shemin, 2016). As a result, they are usually forced to learn how to fend for themselves in various areas of their lives, where the second parent would have stepped in. If the child in question is a firstborn, he or she will be forced to undertake extra responsibilities of taking care of his/her younger siblings, since the present parent's attention is diverted for long periods of time. Thus, the situation nurtures them to be responsible and independent people.

Overachievers

There is an inherent need for every individual to do better than his/her past generations. Children are not exempt from this impulse. Most children, even those in two-parent households, have been socialized to believe that they can only earn their parents affection through outstanding achievements. This intensifies after the parents go their separate ways. Moreover, some parents may push the children to achieve more after the divorce, as a distraction from their marital failure. Occasionally, a child's achievements tend to be the only unifying factor in a divorced family, since both parties are likely to attend performances, graduations, games, and other school activities (Frank et al., 1987). This drive to achieve characterizes most children's lives, in an attempt to replicate their career achievements into their personal life.

Cons

Effects on Physical Health of the Children

Divorce has been proven to have adverse outcomes on the physical and emotional health of the children involved. Statistically, children of the separated partners are 200% more likely to experience physical defects, head injuries, and asthma attacks, compared to those from non-divorced households (Angel & Worobey, 1988). Also, they are twice likely to suffer from health complications in their adolescent years compared to their counterparts. A different study supports the above findings with similar results from their research, which estimates that children raised in intact marriages are up to 30% physically healthier than those brought up in divorced families (Dawson, 1988).

Anger and Aggression Development

Studies conducted by childhood development have discovered that anger and hostility is a common element among children from divorced families. The disintegration of the family unit leaves many adolescents confused, and with limited means of expressing themselves (Wallerstein, 1991). Consequently, this exasperation will manifest itself as increased anger episodes, and aggressive behaviour in many children. If not addressed early enough, the affected child may become delinquent, engage in truancy in school, and become indiscipline. Children from divorced parents are likely to record a higher school drop-out score compared to those from two-parent homes (McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994).

Poor Interpersonal Relationships

The failure of the primary family unit has a negative impact on the ability of the children in that family to form meaningful relationships for the rest of their lives. For instance, many adolescents who experience their parents' marital separation may suffer from trust issues in their marriage institutions. Also, children of divorced partners are 50% more likely to go through turbulent marriages that end in divorce. Moreover, they are likely to stay in abusive relationships that are unhealthy for them, in a bid not emulate their parents' failure. This mistrust is exacerbated where the divorce is dragged out and messy. It affects the ability of these children to have healthy romantic relationships in their adulthood since they lack marriage aspiration and mentorship (Wallerstein, 1991). As a result, there is a high propensity to self-sabotage every relationship they get into.

Psychological Trauma

According to Hill (1993), a significant number of children from officially separated families tend to seek mental help from a specialist compared to those in an intact family. Apparently, most of these divorces occur when the children are young or at their teenage. At this phase, they are too young to grasp everything happening around them. The fury of conflicting and negative emotions that arise from such a situation can lead to a range of psychological issues, which are likely to haunt them their adulthood (Amato & Sobolewski, 2001). Unless parents take their time to break it down to them, depression and abandonment issues are most likely to occur. In addition to that, these children have a high tendency of committing suicide compared to those from married-parent households (Velez & Cohen, 1988).

Conclusion

To sum up, it is clear that divorce only benefits children in one spectrum. That is, it moulds the character of the children by making them driven, independent, and emotionally intelligent. Even in our societies, many children from separated families grow to be responsible individuals, who can make tough life decisions on their own. Harsh life experiences harden them to be great people in the society. However, divorce interferes with these children's development growth where it matters the most; mentally. This means that they might appear to be healthy and happy but ultimately wrecked from inside. I believe that divorce negatively impacts children and their growth more than it helps in their development. They tend to undertake some adult responsibilities, which leaves them socially inactive in their play age, school stage or adolescent stage. Susceptibility to numerous life problems makes them dull and psychologically tortured. Therefore, divorce should be discouraged at all costs. Importantly, divorcing parents should ensure that they centre the needs of their children while negotiating their separation move.

References

Amato, P. R., & Sobolewski, J. M. (2001). The effects of divorce and marital discord on adult children's psychological well-being. American Sociological Review, 900-921.

Angel, R., & Worobey, J. L. (1988). Single motherhood and children's health. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 38-52.

Dawson, D. A. (1991). Family structure and children's health and well-being: Data from the 1988 National Health Interview Survey on Child Health. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 573-584.

Frank. F. Furstenberg, Jr., Morgan, S. P., & Allison, P. D. (1987). Paternal participation and children's well-being after marital dissolution. American Sociological Review, 695-701.

Hill, P. (1993). Recent advances in selected aspects of adolescent development. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 34(1), 69-99.

McLanahan, Sara., & Sandefur, Gary. (1994). Growing up with a single parent: What hurts, what helps. Harvard University Press.Shemin, V. (2016, April 5). 4 benefits of being a child of divorce. HuffPost. Retrieved from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/divorced-moms/4-benefits-of-being-a-child-of-divorce_b_9522314.html

Velez, C. N., & Cohen, P. (1988). Suicidal behaviour and ideation in a community sample of children: Maternal and youth reports. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 27(3), 349-356.

Wallerstein, J. S. (1991). The long-term effects of divorce on children: A review. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 30(3), 349-360.