Introduction
Happiness is a state, which is not permanent or long lasting but a mutable state that has to involve a feeling of contentment or pleasure but has both internal and external experience where one can feel or show happiness (Shiota, Michelle, et al.pg 617). Acceptance, on the other hand, is being contented with one's current situation, or even lifestyle such as physical features, material possession, and even relationships. Generally, acceptance can be completely accepting one's self. I would say happiness is found more through acceptance of what one has rather than the search for more. Search for more would require one to explore all the possible life experiences to get happiness.
Acceptance of what one has, in my opinion, is the key to taking momentary happiness to endure happiness. Being able to accept what is and letting go of what one cannot control solves the reframing events of happiness (Shiota, Michelle, et al.pg 617). For instance, when you agree to the level of education you have, which is let's say degree, you find yourself in the path to a deep understanding that will guide you to the part of you that is whole, free, and untroubled. When you try to get happiness by searching for more, you expose yourself to situations where you have to resist the reality that keeps you ruminating and analyzing situations to make sense of it so that you feel better. This way, you will never be happier.
When you are in a continuous search for things that make you happy, you indicate no contentment with what you have. Once you are not contented, you will never settle for anything you achieve. Meanwhile, you miss the chance to build a foundation for your choices and actions based on truth (Wiese, et al. pg. 278). You will keep on searching and never get a chance to be happy. However, when you accept what you have, which does not stop you from fulfilling any goal, you get a clear seeing and insight that you have always overlooked and become happier.
Respecting the reality of the present, and appreciating what you do have and where you are, gives more happiness than looking for things that you think would make you happy. Happiness starts internally, and one has to be contented, which is the key to happiness (Wiese, et al. pg. 278). Contentment does not mean one has no desire, dreams, or goals, but it means you are satisfied with your present, and you trust the turns your life takes.
When you are always in search of more, you put your life in a race where you want to be the best in everything. The moment you achieve one thing, the race for the next item starts. Your temporary achievement gives you no time to be grateful and appreciate what you have (Neff, Kristin et al. pg. 120). Instead of enjoying the distance you have covered, you find yourself sometimes overstretching to cover the remaining range. In some cases, it becomes greed. Greed leads to the feeling of uneasiness, even after achieving something. The uneasy feeling that something is missing is the lack of contentment, which is the key to more happiness.
Since everyone is striving for happiness, which is shown by a feeling that of contentment, there should be a fulfillment of desire and needs that starts with the practice and development of acceptance (Wiese, et al. pg. 380). Happiness comes when one accepts whatever they feel, and in loving-kindness, accepts their status of life. When individuals accept life statuses such as health conditions, physical appearance, mental state, and relationships, they enjoy higher levels of life satisfaction. In addition, satisfaction brings happiness, which is a byproduct of acceptance.
We get joy through acceptance of oneself, one's situation as it is. For instance, a middle-class mother finds joy spending time with her family and friends. While she does not have much money to spend on luxurious materials, she completely accepts herself and her situation, and she becomes happy because of her contentment and acceptance of her life situation. Unlike, let say a wealthy mother who has continuously been pushing to make more wealth, more level of success, and increased status, yet she fails to find the level of fulfillment she is seeking. While we can say the wealthy woman is leaving a better life, she does not get happiness, and that's what we truly want, and so material things does not make one happy because they are things that constantly change (Bruni, Luigino et al.pg. 68)
Happiness should not be forced. By trying to make yourself, happy may make you unhappy. It is because; trying to force ourselves by searching for more life experiences to make us happy may suppress the random thoughts and negative feelings in one's self. Lack of these thoughts and feelings may lead to more sad feelings that draining every possible effort to get rid of what one feels now (Bruni, Luigino et al.pg. 69). Often people punish themselves by associating happiness with achievement and external things that are always temporary and changing.
Happiness gotten through the search for more may make someone feel for a moment when they achieve, but it dissipates soon enough. Consequently, the pleasure ends when the thrill disappears (Neff, Kristin et al. pg. 122). This thrill always ends because of its temporary nature, and once one has acquired something, they would need something else to explore. This search for more becomes an endless chase. Although it can be the best thing when an individual is using it to grow and move forward, it does not give happiness.
Acceptance helps individuals sort themselves out by acknowledging what they are going through of feeling and not suppress or deny it; for instance, one's physical condition. For example, if you are obese, and you do not accept it as your health status, you are denying and suppressing what you feel, which may worsen your health condition due to worries. However, when you accept your health condition of obesity, you can see yourself as you are and be able to make a resolution that suits you and be able to improve your overall health and life expectancy.
Accepting what and where you are now helps create the life you want. Acceptance makes individuals make better decisions (Oswald, Andrew et al. pg. 192). These decisions bring happiness by evading desires to engage in risky behaviors during the course of search for more. Instead, it increases the desire to make a positive contribution to society. For instance, when one is in need to change their life without considering their current situation and are willing to do anything, including corruption and other unlawful acts like manipulation to see their desire fulfilled, they make risky decisions that do not bring happiness to them and their surroundings.
Conclusion
In conclusion, getting happiness by trying to search for more life experiences leaves individuals in situations they are not contented. And if they are, they still look for more forgetting to focus on what they already have, leading to worries and rush to change past and experience future. This constant chase does not allow on to live in the moment that does not bring clarity calmness and peace, which is generally happiness. Even though happiness is related to life satisfaction, moments of pleasure, and appreciation of life, and they show a positive experience of emotions. They do not indicate the absence of negative emotions. A happy person also experiences different feelings just like anybody else, but it differs in the experience through which they experience negative emotions. A happy person through acceptance will not suffer as many negative emotions because they accept and acknowledge their situation and go through it differently.
Works Cited
Bruni, Luigino, and Stefano Zamagni. "The challenges of public happiness: An historical methodological reconstruction." World Happiness Report 2016, Special Rome Edition 2 (2016): 66-86.
https://apo.org.au/sites/default/files/resource-files/2016/03/apo-nid226726-1346511.pdf#page=68Neff, Kristin D., and Katie A. Dahm. "Self-compassion: What it is, what it does, and how it relates to mindfulness." Handbook of mindfulness and self-regulation. Springer, New York, NY, 2015. 121-137.
https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4939-2263-5_10Oswald, Andrew J., Eugenio Proto, and Daniel Sgroi. "Happiness and productivity." Journal of Labor Economics 33.4 (2015): 789-822.
https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/681096Shiota, Michelle N., et al. "Beyond happiness: building a science of discrete positive emotions." American Psychologist 72.7 (2017): 617.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-43854-001Wiese, Christopher W., et al. "Too much of a good thing? Exploring the invertedu relationship between selfcontrol and happiness." Journal of Personality 86.3 (2018): 380-396.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12322
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