Feedback for First Essay - Learning Perseverance

Date:  2021-04-22 06:04:02
2 pages  (498 words)
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This essay has been submitted by a student. This is not an example of the work written by our professional essay writers.
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This essay has been submitted by a student. This is not an example of the work written by our professional essay writers.

This essay provides a basis for encouragement. It is a fascinating piece of writing since it reinforces the sense of hope for good things in life. The essay begins with a provoking statement; Think of a time you encountered a wall in your work. This statement intrigues the mind to think of situations that one has experienced setbacks in life. The essay, in the same paragraph, speaks on how many people are faced with challenges in life and how they deduce ways of countering such problems. The essay gives a typical example of an established music producer who has turned his life around to make It work. Like any other situation in life, the essay posits that creating the ability for greatness and friendship is the key element for perseverance. His second paragraph is well written as it gives a clear connection with the previous one. It reinforces the idea that is manifest in the first one perseverance. The essay flows with great information from paragraph to the next. Despite the inspiring tone of the essay, there are a considerable number of grammatical errors. The main obvious mistake is that the essay is broken into sections by the same topic, and this is not necessary. The conclusion statement should also be written in its paragraph.

Essay about Shigeru Miyamoto

The second essay is an exciting one too. It is worth noting that, it points out to promote perseverance and resilience just like the previous essay. This essay is, however, not convincing enough. It gives an ordeal of Shigeru who designed the Mario Game. This essay is good to encourage one who fears to jump into an activity due to lacking the knowledge of it. It emphasizes that when one comprehends a situation, it would be easy to handle. The essay does not adhere to grammar as some tenses; prepositions are confused. There is also the wrong use of punctuation marks such as commas and full stops.

Essay about Yuji Naka

Finally, the essay on the console that won the wars in the 90s is a better essay compared to the previous one. The two essays have a connection as they talk about two programmers who invented the games that competed for greatness and dominance in the 90s. This essay is interesting at some point as it give an account of how the character beat the odds to win the console wars in early 1990. It culminates with a surety tone that gives one hope that perseverance is the ultimate key to achieving success. Also, when one is faced with a challenge, strategies to tackle such problems should be in place and should focus on implementing new measures or improving existing mechanism. The essay is encouraging like the two previous essays. On the other hand, the author should have edited the work to eliminate grammatical mistakes such as the use of punctuation marks and possible overuse of some words. It, however, appears to have little errors as compared to the previous essays.

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