Essay Sample on Being a Reflective Listener

Paper Type:  Essay
Pages:  4
Wordcount:  861 Words
Date:  2022-10-24


Paraphrasing encompasses of using other terms to replicate what has been said by the speaker. Paraphrasing not only proves that you are attentive, but also you are making an effort to comprehend what is being told by the speaker. In most cases, people hear what they assume to understand due to expectations, categorizing or biases. In paraphrasing you do not change the concept of the speaker, you only twist it a little to what they would prefer to hear at that specific moment. Examples of paraphrasing include the speaker asking, "Where can I get a dress at a fair price?'' and the listener responds, "there are beautiful and affordable dresses at Queens Collection''.

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What we currently recognize the significance of making our language that of another person' strengthens the possible control of this ability - knowledge on how to turn around the language from "I" to "you" this day and age meet logic once we ponder it from the brain's perception. The figure of speech we use to demonstrate this notion is a penlight shaft of light or limelight (Rautalinko, 2004). Our objective is to keep the beam of light shining on the other person. Therefore, as a substitute for "what I hear you saying" which revolves around us, we alter the language to "you want . . . Your objective, your wish, Or you're sentiment." which drifts all the attention towards the listener, but the responses drift that attention directing, giving status and trusting the beam of light directed towards the speaker. Perturbing about attaining the rewording incorrect is not obligatory. We say, "Once you get it incorrect, you get it correct!" since you establish lucidity to the dialogue.

Two supplementary teachings I have taught today is on accumulating authority prospective to paraphrasing are the significance of quietness and the concept of the fewer the words, the better and the more useful (York-Barr, 2005). As the instructor, I am incredibly talented in language. Frequently, we tend to use so many words to guarantee we understand a specific situation. Hence, we have regularly heard that "less is more" with honor to an influential interpretation. Once we heed for core, desire, and opportunity, we require fewer words than when we alleged we had to recap everything the person uttered in our paraphrase. When we overflow the person with a profusion of language, it complicates the brain and summonses fuzziness into the dialogue. We pay attention for the sentiment of the articulated term and give it backbone in a short, crumbly paraphrase.

In most cases, fifteen words or less, or even three to five when applicable, will deliver a much more significant meaning than a paraphrase with conjunctions that enlarges the sentences and welcomes old patterns of dialogue into the comparison. Examples of a conversation with responses that require paraphrasing

Speaker: "I do not understand at what point you had to decide to get personal and involve my family in our issues. If you have a problem with me, do not address it to my family, come straight to me." Staring blankly at the listener

Listener: "You should understand that I only involved your family because they are involved in this. How would they not be involved yet they are the ones that handed you over for marriage. I involve anyone I feel like involving." Says the listener raising his voice.

Speaker: "My family did not have a part to do with our marriage, and I think those are issues we should discuss amongst ourselves instead of bringing along outside parties."

Listener: "What you think currently does not matter, it was only relevant when you were the ideal wife, but right now, your opinion does not have an impact on me.''

Speaker: Tears flowing down her eyes, she walks away hurriedly.

The paraphrase of the speakers' words by the listener proves that the speaker is the most relevant person in the conversation and the listener tries to keep it at that. The greatest mistake encountered in that dialogue was the fact that the listener was always cynical. In every paraphrasing points, it is necessary to always turn the negative into the positive and not the other way round. The listener should turn every negative statement into a solution, every problem into a settlement and every complaint into a commitment.


In conclusion, I have learned a lot I did not know about being a reflective listener. I did not have an idea that just being there listening is all that mattered and my opinion was not that important like that of the speaker. Being a reflective speaker helps you understand a message better and get more involved through your body language ensuring it matches that of the speaker. Learn to be someone everyone can confront when they are troubled, be that reflective listener!


Olson, D., DeFrain, J., & Skogrand, L. (2010). Marriages and families: Intimacy, diversity, and strengths. McGraw Hill.

Rautalinko, E., & Lisper, H. O. (2004). Effects of training reflective listening in a corporate setting. Journal of Business and Psychology, 18(3), 281-299.

York-Barr, J., Sommers, W. A., Ghere, G. S., & Montie, J. (Eds.). (2005). Reflective practice to improve schools: An action guide for educators. Corwin Press.

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