Essay 1 Peer Review
Gun laws are a real human rights issue in various countries globally. Gun violence threatens human rights to live, which is the fundamental right. It affects people around the world almost daily. The essay is organized in a standard manner with a clear organization, easy to read through in a logical order. The first paragraph of the essay prepares the reader adequately for the topic, highlighting the direction of the paper. The author details his position on gun violence laws by stating that the weapon itself is not the problem. Still, the state needs to find a better understanding of the mental health status of the people of America. Therefore, the writer makes a clear stance that he/she is against stricter policies for possessing and gaining a gun.
The body of the essay gives sufficient supporting information towards the argument of the author. It includes relevant information and statistics supporting the thesis of the essay. It uses statistics and information from other countries such as Sweden, the United Kingdom, and India, where similar policies were applied. The writer does not include irrelevant information consistent with the thesis. The author gives sufficient reference to support his/her claim, such as from the Forensic Sciences Research. However, some sections contain critical statistics, and they are not referenced. For instance, where the writer highlights that 90% of police officers in London do not carry guns. Moreover, the writer does not give an adequate conclusion. The closing paragraph does not restate the thesis, drawing a conclusion that is based on the points highlighted in the paper.
Essay 2 Peer Review
The risks linked to energy drinks are the sheer volume of the number of energy drinks in the market as well as the ease of access to the drinks. The writer gives a good organization of the paper with sufficient supporting points presented in a logical order. The concluding sections give a recap of the overall dangers of consuming energy drinks. The first paragraph should prepare the reader for the topic; the writer makes a clear stance that energy drinks are harmful to our health.
The writer divides the body paragraph into logical sections with relevant information supporting the thesis statement without going out of the topic. However, in the second paragraph, it is short while it provides a weak topic sentence. The writer abandoned the paragraph structure with weak supporting sentences to the topic sentence. The writer does not highlight the extremes or factors that may result in adverse effects of energy drink. Moreover, the writer does not detail the host of ingredients and the harmful aspect apart from comparing the high volume of caffeine in an energy drink to a cup of espresso.
The writer gives a clear conclusion, restating the points raised in the essay clearly and effectively. The essay transition from paragraph to paragraph is smooth, making it easy to read. However, the writer is more repetitive and could have used more references in the paper. Although the paper contains little grammatical errors and outside sources are not formatted consistent with APA in-text citation. Overall, the writer should be keen on citing outside sources where they obtain the information. The sentence containing statistical information requires references such as "The average amount of caffeine in an energy drink is 200mg to 300mg." in the third paragraph.
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