Essay Example on Winning Arguments in Relationships

The path of love is always accompanied by various obstacles which are helpful to undergo. Having arguments with your girlfriend in a relationship is a typical occurrence in any relationship. Worrying about whether the relationship will or will not work impedes solving most arguments in a manner that all parties are satisfied. Face to face conversations that are not filled with abusive words provides the best platform where different opinions can be raised. This essay explores how one can win an argument with their girlfriend through gaslighting, mental trickery and manipulation, generalizations and being non-responsive.

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Gaslighting is also an excellent technique in winning arguments despite the impracticality of arguments presented. Gaslighting is defined by Rietdijk (2018) as the psychological technique of manipulating others by making them doubt their perceptions of reality. Gaslighting manifests itself in three ways, "that is not what happened," "are you imagining things," or "you are crazy." This is the most common manipulative tactic used by politicians as they blatantly tell lies, but in the end, the voters are brainwashed to vote in a certain way. Gaslighting, however, has a weakness when individuals decide to ground actions and perception in their reality. Sometimes writing things down or reiterating events to friends can counteract gaslighting. Simply writing things down or telling others does not guarantee safety from the autonomous influence of gaslighting. Gaslighting targets the memory and perceptions of truthful conversations, therefore, altering self-discovery competencies of individuals (Rietdijk, 2018). These capacities relate to each other in a comprehensive manner such that a positive relation to the environment is wholly altered (Rietdijk, 2018). By preventing an individual from fully engaging with their surroundings and themselves gaslighting can make a person to doubt even the events they record or reiterate to their friends.

Sometimes mental trickery and manipulation go a long way in determining who comes out of the argument more convincing. To dominate some arguments with your girlfriend, a little deceiving is necessary- also called mind games. Some people believe that playing mind games is not the way to win an argument. Additionally, such as "foul tactics" are liked with being a poor critical thinker. The latter is not true. The female brain undergoes major restructuring in the selection of white matter fibers in different regions ("Brain connections may explain why girls mature faster," 2013). As a result, they develop faster than male counterparts of the same age. Therefore, if someone is dating a girlfriend in the same age bracket, they are likely to be disadvantaged in terms of their mental development. To truly convince a female with a higher mental development one needs to be a master of fallacies, tricks, and deceptions. To achieve the latter means they have the potential of being critical thinkers who can employ free and fair-minded thinking. Believability is also an indication of advanced crucial thinking because one can explore human foibles of socio-centrism and egocentrism then explore them for personal gains.

Creating uncertainty in arguments through mansplaining can help shift dominating power. Mansplaining is referred to as explaining terms to the female gender in a manner considered patronizing (Kidd, 2017). Mansplaining is thought to be a conversational inconvenience that crushes women by violently silencing them through harassment. Just like making women think the "streets" or "financial industries" are not their world to dominate, mansplaining can become from being a conversational inconvenience to being a tool of inflicting self-limitation and self-doubt. To properly implement mansplaining, one has to understand how disparity in conversations happens between men and women. One has to be able to continuously demand attention and use filled pauses to have a dominant hand in the argument. Using filled pauses makes the female conform to the role of a listener and supporter. Avoiding discourse markers such as "I think" helps in maintaining the leadership position in the argument as they lack normative standards (Kidd, 2017). The lack of discourse markers will also continue to force women to use them more as they feel it is some protection to the relationship.

Generalizations help to combine the minor nuances in an argument such that the scenario is summed up to favor a particular side. Females are likely to be keen on small nuances in an argument which gives them an upper and in winning the argument. For example, the girlfriend may be considering the long-term ramifications of spending more on a TV but when she is referred as being negative and not considering the comfort of the house all the possible conditions are eliminated. In turn, the conversation is shifted to focus on the fact that buying a television is regarded as a disaster. By generalizing the discussion, it does not mean the person did not understand what was said, but instead, they did and made blanket statements that helped divert the attention from a particular point despite its validity. Generalizing anything and everything and turning them into black and white blanket statements helps in preventing a person from holding onto the truth and logical thinking.

Sometimes an argument is won by being non-responsive. By refusing to talk the bait set to the needle, you are likely to be averted. The girlfriend may feel that her partner is being inconsiderate and acting like a victim. However, that is what is needed to avoid small barbs and keep the relationship. For example, little arguments such as the position of the toilet seat can quickly escalate into a fight. Avoiding to get into such arguments by merely shrugging them off can grant an unexpected win.

Gaslighting, mental trickery and manipulation, generalizations and being non-responsive are among the best strategies that can help males to win arguments in a relationship. Women have the advantage of being better at arguing more than men as they are more verbal, logical and pay attention to smaller details. These rules do not matter if gaslighting is used to make them doubt their perceptions of reality. Manipulation and mental trickery also diminish the chances of fair play through critical thinking in the conversation and enhancing believability. As long as believability is attained in an argument the person who convinced the other has won. Mansplaining using filled pauses and limiting discourse markers also helps maintain a dominant position in the argument and improve inflict self-doubt to the other party. Generalizing situations into black and white versions creates a scenario where minute nuances are ignored despite their relevance. Creating argument winning statements by females in such instances becomes difficult. Moreover, not all arguments require a response. Keeping silent on small matters their girlfriends are likely to question their sentiments by thinking there are going overboard on minor issues.

Works Cited

Brain connections may explain why girls mature faster. (2013). Retrieved from https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2013-12/nu-bcm121913.php

Kidd, A. G. (2017). Mansplaining: The Systematic Sociocultural Silencer. Retrieved from http://digitalcommons.northgeorgia.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1681&context=ngresearchconf

Rietdijk, N. W. (2018). (You Drive Me) Crazy: How Gaslighting Undermines Autonomy (Master's thesis). Retrieved from https://dspace.library.uu.nl/bitstream/handle/1874/368724/RMA%20Thesis%20Natascha%20Rietdijk.pdf?sequence=2