Essay Example on Close Relationships: Defined by Interdependence and Craved by Humans

Introduction

Human beings are social animals that utilize their time thinking about people, interacting, influencing and being influenced by them (Strangor, 2014). As a result, humans crave for social contact and forge relationships with relatives, friends and romantic partners. In the process of forming social contacts, humans create close relationships. Social psychology theorists have defined close relationships differently. For some close relationships can be defined in terms of interdependence (Strangor, 2014). However, it is fundamental to note that close relationships differ from having colleagues or acquaintances in terms of the psychological processes and well-being individuals' resonate with. Therefore, close relationships are significantly characterized by high levels of love, trust, knowledge, intimacy, and commitment. In light of this, close relationships can either be romantic relationships or platonic friendships (Stangor, 2014). For the purpose of this research, the study will focus more on romantic relationships which attract the attention of social psychologists. Nevertheless, it is important to note that friendships are of tremendous psychological importance in our life. However, what enables close relationships? Three crucial factors that include self-disclosure, attachment, and equity enable close relationships.

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Self-disclosure

Self-disclosure plays a role in enabling close relationships as it marks the level of closeness in a relationship. Self-disclosure is the interaction between two or more individuals where one party deliberately divulges personal information to the other without the fear of reprisal in an empathetic and accepting manner (Greene, Derlega & Mathews, n.d, p. 411). Self-disclosure involves the tendency to communicate frequently because it is understood on the basis of verbal messages (Greene et al., n.d). Therefore, self-disclosure is a crucial building block in a wide array of social relationships such as intimacy because it entails more than how much one is willing to tell about oneself to others. While forming close relationships, information plays an important role in initiating and maintaining the relationship. Disclosing personal experiences in a relationship help to provide the partner with current information about the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of each person. Two-Way communication in such instances helps partners to gauge the progress of their relationship, an essential component of self-disclosure (Greene et al., n.d).

Creating a long-lasting and close relationship entails a mutual give-and-take between the involved parties. In other words, a success close relationship involves a transactional form of self-disclosure (Greene et al., n.d). At the early stages of a new relationship, self-disclosure may be limited but when people grow deeply involved, they become progressively open in sharing information and experiences with each other. As such, for people to build deep and trusting relationships, they must maintain transactional exchanges in disclosing feelings, thoughts, and attitudes, etc. similarly, the same level of self-disclosure is necessary for romantic relationships, and the more intimate the relationship is, the deeper the nature of self-disclosure (Green et al., n.d). Therefore, when people feel free to disclose information without fear of reprisal, they create closer relationships with better-shared understanding with the people they interact with daily. In intimate relationships, the discloser feels close to the partner when they like each other and vise versa. Self-disclosure has an impact on mental health given that the disclosure target is receiving and accepting to the information revealed. When the disclosed information is received positively, it promotes the feeling of self-worth that enhances the closeness of the relationship (Strangor, 2014).

There is a high correlation between self-disclosure and health in a relationship. Since self-discloser improves as relationships grow closer facilitating a reciprocal process of sharing information, the lack of discloser could have a negative impact on a relationship. A study by Pennebaker and O'Heeron (1984) about the coping strategies of suicide spouses and accidental-death victims found that participants who talked with friends had better health outcomes (Greene et al., n.d). However, those who concealed their problems had a greater increase in health challenges such as headaches and weight change. With this regard, nondisclosure by concealing personal feelings, thoughts and actions act a stressor increasing the susceptibility to illness. Similarly, nondisclosure may strain the process of creating close relationships. Most importantly, disclosure helps people to cope with stressful thoughts and feelings essential to maintaining better health and well-being (Greene et al., n.d). Mutual give and take exchanges in discloser nurture the close relationship in social contacts be it friendship or intimate relationships.

Attachment

A fundamental determinant of the quality of a close relationship is the type of attachment style or the way people or partners relate to each other. There are individual differences in how people relate to their partners in life. For instance, in adult relationships, some people feel secure in their close relationship while others feel insecure. Attachment styles are a common phenomenon learned in childhood. Children can either develop health or unhealthy attachment styles with their parents. Children who perceive their parents as available, safe and responsive caregivers relate to them easily forming a secure attachment style that is healthy (Stangor, 2014). However, some children develop unhealthy attachment styles while they feel that their parents do not provide certain needs. Similarly, others develop an avoidant attachment style when they do not relate to their parents while others develop insecurity or anxious attachment style due to over-dependence on parents (Strangor, 2014).

The type of attachment style in adulthood has its origin in childhood. The consistency in the type of attachment style implies that children who develop secure attachments with the parents create healthy and stable interpersonal relationships with others in adulthood. Such adults' have long-lasting relationships particularly in intimacy and are less likely jealous about their partners. However, people develop relationship-specific attachment styles that originate from diverse interpersonal experiences (Fraley & Roisman, 2019). Peer experiences may make a person feel insecure when they encounter non-familial relationships like during a romantic relationship even if an individual had a secure attachment style in childhood (Fraley & Roisman, 2019, p. 27). Furthermore, recent interpersonal experiences may influence the type of adult attachment style. For example, when one experiences a negative close relationship, they become anxious or even avoidant while in the next type of close relationship as a caution to avoid a repetition of the previous bad situation.

Likewise, both men and women with insecurity tend to worry about their partners' love and commitment. They are more likely to be jealous, angry and have a tendency to interpret the behavior of their partners negatively. Research by Fraley and Roisman (2019) examining children who participated in the NICHD Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development found out that participants aged 18 who had less supporting parents had insecure attachment styles in young adulthood (p. 25). In the same sense, anxious partners experience more conflicts in their relationships, making it hard to develop close relationships. Moreover, people with fearful or avoidant attachment styles have challenges creating close relationships, to begin with. Such people have difficulties expressing their experiences and emotions that negatively affect their interactions with others. Fraley and Roisman (2019) stipulate that longitudinal studies suggest an association between childhood and adulthood attachment styles.

Supportive Equity

Partners in intimate close relationships become attuned to the needs of each other in the sense that the goals and desires of one spouse become as important, or even more important than one's own needs. In committed relationships, partners pay close attention to the needs of the other and do not explicitly keep track of what they give or expect in return (Stangor, 2014). Such a close relationship is also known as a communal or social relationship. According to Gleason, Iida, Borger, and Shrout (2003) social support in committed relationships plays an integral role in the continued existence of such a relationship. Communal relationship in intimacy has positive outcomes, especially when coping stressful times, recovery from illness and the overall stability of the relationship (Gleason et al., 2003). Therefore, communal relationships are a type of close relationship in which partners terminate their need for equity and exchange to provide the desired support to their significant other without considering the cost incurred by a spouse.

Partners in a committed relationship focus on maintaining support equity making marriages for such couple happy when both spouses perceive their equal contribution to the close relationship. Intriguingly, it is not just the equity support perception of the ratio of rewards and costs borne in a relationship that is important. Invisible support also matters a lot. Invisible support is that social support in a close relationship provided in times of stress to help partners cope. It cannot be counted but contributes towards skillful support in the sense that the recipient makes the needs known and the partner responds appropriately. Skillful support in a close relationship is important in protecting the self-esteem and efficacy of the recipient minimizing the feeling of indebtedness to the partner (Gleason et al., 2003). A study by Gleason et al. (2003, p. 1042) found out that supportive equity is beneficial to individuals' daily positive and negative moods in close relationships. By paying close attention to a partner's needs, a positive and healthy environment is created that sustains and maintains the functioning of the close relationship.

Interdependence and commitment is another factor essential in the supportive equity in a close relationship, a factor common in long-term relationships. For example, when a couple has children and begins to take care of the household together, the requirements of the relationship become bigger as they strive to meet the basic human needs. The complexity of such an experience makes couples turn to each other for the fundamental social support in a close relationship. The support equity by which the partners share duties and obligation in such a transactional manner creates a form of interdependence that promotes interpersonal relationship in the family (Strangor, 2014).

Conclusion

In conclusion, creating close relationships is an integral aspect of human behavior since humans are social animals. Humans pursue social contacts and forge relationships with people and their surroundings. However, maintaining close relationships is not easy due to the unique differences in people. Nevertheless, there are factors such as social support equity, self-disclosure and attachment styles that enable close relationships. Transactional self-disclosure in a mutual and accepting manner nurtures the long-term existence of close relationships. Similarly, when people feel secure in a relationship, it is long-lasting and beneficial to involved parties. However, some people have fearful and insecure attachment styles that limit their social interaction and are less trusting hence undermining the effectiveness of close relationships. Most...