Doherty (2013) describes a beautiful scenery full of life. The area is enjoyable and a relaxed atmosphere where you can observe everything in nature. Marriage is a central theme, and the narrator explained that engaging in marriage there is blissful, but it requires an individual to be watchful to hinder disarray. Otherwise, a couple, you end up in an unpleasant situation if both of you do not collaborate in forging forward in marriage. The initial stage of marriage is incredible due to accolades from colleagues and relatives. However, after some time, marital drift arises, which is brought by a lack of consistent sex, quality time, and insufficient talks.The factors that make marriage to fail is being busy in daily task, distractions that emanate from other responsibilities, an obsession from cellphones, media addiction, and job-related issues. These factors lead to less concentration on the relationship, low level of intimacy, and low connection. Additionally, demanding parental responsibilities interferes with marriage. Couples focus on managing daily life, raising kids, and attending work, forgetting about their marriage. Additionally, other factors that affect marriage are the rise of social media, lack of cognizance of strategies to maintain a marriage, getting used to another, and the development of television and cell phones, which has altered communication and interfered with unions.
Another factor that negatively influenced marriage is viewing marriage as a consumer culture. Here, children are raised as consumers and parents act as providers. Moreover, spouses are inclined to the benefits they are deriving from the relationship or marriage. It becomes a consumer when you think your spouse is not the type that you had desired. Marital affairs are maintained by stressing on permanent and tentative commitment. Permanent commitment calls for strong advocacy of needs and rights in a relationship while tentative involves allegiance for a long overhaul. This strategy does not evaluate the returns from investing in a relationship but integrates the elements of moral, religious, and traditional commitment.
The best way to resist consumer marriage is to make sure that your spouse meets what he or she desires in a relationship. Specifically, couples should prioritize on good sex, passion in marriage, and emotional attachment. Emphasizing on these factors makes a relationship to thrive, and neither of the spouses feels the marriage is second class. Also, psychological individualism should be exterminated by couples. Commercialization of marriage ought to be avoided for marriage to be successful; individuals should set expenditure within their limits to prevent opportunists from funding their wedding with the goal of marketing themselves or their companies.
Divorce occurs because of infidelity, chronic alcoholism, abandonment, and abuse that take place among married people. Other reasons include a variation of needs, lack of happiness, lack of intimacy, divergence in an individual's growth, and desire for more. Spouses should create enough time for their families; both should shun over-commitment to their careers at the expense of their union. Challenges exist in a relationship. However, resentful behavior to one another should be avoided since it kills marriage. Putting your career at the expense of your relationships is an example of the commercialization of marriage, which promotes divorce.
Consumer marriage at home manifests itself when couples realize that imperfections from either of their spouses would not soon stop. Secondly, any attempts to change the marriage through marital therapy and marriage educational experience do not shape the marriage. Although there is a positive transformation, flaws exist. One of the spouses can also suddenly stops what they had been doing together, like hiking. Another instance is comparing your relationship with others that have prospered. Consumer marriage compels one to yearn for amazing features that another person is having and which lacks in his or her spouse.
Children are critical, and most spouses prioritize them in their marriage because of their vulnerability in nature. They also make life enjoyable by offering company, love, and openness with what is emerging in the world. A significant number of couple focuses on their children to the extent of losing the attention of one another. Hence, their life becomes child-centered. Specifically, they focus on ensuring their children succeed and secure in a competitive world. We lose our marriage to kids because it is the basis of a family foundation, and our responsibility makes them stable in the future.
A decision to reclaim marriage form the consumer demands of children would initiate resistance. There is a need to embrace a balanced family life that promotes marital relationships to flourish. Parents should structure their time properly for assisting kids and their engaging in their talk daily. Marriage can be prevented from being lost to children by not allowing children to interrupt a parental conversation. Parents should inform them early that they will be having a serious talk at a particular time, and they should not interrupt. Another option is to employ the service of sitters to enable them to plan on consistent dates and make time for private space. Furthermore, couples should restrict the amount of time dedicated to children. They should also be open to their children of what marriage entails, and avoid telling them the flaws of either spouse.
Marriage centered family involves giving priority to marriage than the demands of children. A Couple who practice this form of marriage end up neglecting their kids. Children provide additional support for marital commitment, and their issues should be addressed promptly. Marriage-centred individuals are self-centered people and do not like to lose their marriage to the demand of their kids. Both parents should be responsible for raising their kids. Child-centered marriage is disadvantageous since once the last child becomes independent, the marriage comes to an end. For others, their marriages prosper once their last child leaves. Even though it is a positive step, it is not pleasing since couples cannot fulfill several years of unmet marital potential.
Marital starving occurs when couples spend much of their time raising their kids and attending to busy job schedules leaving their marriage with a long-term deficit. This situation makes one of the spouses to be starved than the other. The daily activities such as recreational pursuits, attending to personal hobbies, adult schedules, and raising children demand more attention. These activities deny couples time for one another. The strategy to compensate lack of time is avoiding engaging in cellphones and television programs after a job.
In marriage, one of the spouses works during the night while the job of the other spouse might entail working during the day. These jobs distract intimacy and companionship since they are incompatible with marital time. Too much work schedules break most marriages and negatively affect critical family functions like dinner and bedtime. Communication is the key to resolving challenges in marriage, and lovers should converse when jobs interfere with the family timetable of events. Also, a worker might be physically present, and psychologically at work, this affects marriage emotionally.
Overscheduling the time in our lives contributes to the failure of marriages. Apart from job-related functions, spouses should avoid other activities that are not compatible with and intimacy. For example, working during the day and participating in religious duties, volunteering, and club membership is a hindrance block to a successful marriage. Personal hobbies and recreation should be adequately scheduled to avoid interfering with marital time. Partners can agree on participating in recreational activities for only five times in a year. Cellphones are a source of internet connections, and most people are addicted to social media and other internet sites. To address this issue, individuals should figure out how to live with them and maintain their relationship.
Relatives, friends, and family members may not all be supportive of your marriage. Some may unintentionally or intentionally sabotage your family. Parents may involve too much in an individual marriage when they do not desire to lose their son to the new lady. They, therefore, regulate their life which brings conflicts. Both spouse's families may demand attention and loyalty. Hence, the couple should choose between their loyalty or loyalty to the other parties. Previous ex-spouses tend to sabotage marriages by involving new spouse on their past issues. People should break links from their past relationships.
Once an individual gets married, he or she is tied down to the marriage. A partner may discourage his or her spouse from attending an invitation from single friends like a night out parties. One has to seek approval from a fellow spouse to meet their non-married colleagues. Friends can either support or discourage your union. They can undermine your union when they cannot believe they are on the verge of losing you.
A true friend is one who supports you emotionally in times of need. Couples should have friends whom they can confide to and get the most amazing support from them. They should not encourage to work out of their union, but to solve their issues amicably. To stop people from hurting your marriage, a person should be wise on whom to tell his or her marital problems, approach someone who displays the features of the sense of humor, common sense, and empathy.
Another way to maintain marriage is by resisting the call for low expectations. Any advice concerning marriage that seems to demotivate should be shunned. The advice can be negative issues that one should expect after some time in a union. Although there are challenges in marriage, expectations should be high that things get better with time. Negatives information that others say about your marriage should be dealt with by holding your family the way it is.
When seeking marriage counselling, some therapists can undermine your marriage; hence it is best to avoid those counsellors. Instead of offering solutions, some have adopted the consumer culture of marriage. They advise the clients to consider divorce instead of maintaining their neutrality. Therapist undermines an individual commitment to marriage when they visit an incompetent one for the counselling session. In-depth training should be provided to increase skills for counsellors. A competent therapist should be helpful, empathetic and clarifying, caring and compassionate, and active in structuring sessions.
Incompetent therapist focuses on addressing challenges faced by one spouse leaving the other. This becomes a threat to their stability. It is crucial to listen to both parties. Neural counsellors threaten marital union since it offers cost-benefit-analysis. It stressed couples to consider what they gain or lose in getting a divorce or maintaining their marriage. Individuals get competent therapists by assessing their educational background in specific areas and the number of years of practice in offering marital counselling.
Conclusion
The best therapist is the one that enables an individual to live together instead of separating. The culture has currently transformed and prefers to reanalyze the benefits of consumer culture. Besides, it teaches families how to design emerging opportunities that enhance a lasting marriage. Partners should pay attention to lifelong commitment. Furthermore, they should find a strategy to improve their relationship, set their goals in marriage, and view the negativ...
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