Close Relationships in Psychology Paper Example

Introduction

There are a number of psychological theories and concepts that explain the facets of compositions of romantic relationships. For some people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element of life, since they provide a source of deep fulfillment. There is a sufficient amount of evidence that suggests that the ability to establish stable romantic relationships starts from infancy. The child's early experiences from the caregiver in terms of food, protection, stimulation, and social contact are big determinants of future romantic relationships. In this case, the study analyzes various romantic relationships present in the film "The Kids are All Right," by employing various psychological theories and concepts. There are four characters in the film, which depict a romantic relationship with each other. The first romantic relationship is between Nic and Jules, who is a married lesbian couple living in Los Angeles. Nic, as the film progresses, develops a romantic relationship with Paul, who was the donor for her child and for whom she worked. Finally, there is an occasional romance between Paul and Tanya, who is his worker in the restaurant. Therefore, this study analyzes three romantic relationships in the film.

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Nic and Jules Relationship

The commencement of the film depicts the two women as a couple raising their fifteen-year-old son and an eighteen-year-old daughter. It is a depiction of a normal marriage; a successful parenthood between the two (Cholodenko, 2010). Nic and Jules own a home together and their children have been born from the same sperm donor, who later in the film finds himself in the family. These partners bicker and snipe, show affection for one another, as well as resentment. They also have the same worries for their children, and support each other both financially and emotionally (Cholodenko, 2010). Normally, like any other successful marriage, they experience ups and downs, which are sustained through the most challenging moments through loyalty, love and satisfying sex life. Part of successful romantic relations is accepting disappointments of the partner and learning to live with the qualities they have. For instance, Jules is disgusted by Nic's alcoholism and authoritarianism, while Nic feels that Jules is a financial drain on the family's resources, as she struggles to set up a designer business in place (Cholodenko, 2010). There is a difference in reaction when the children embark on finding their biological father, which strains their relationship.

In many ways, it can be argued that the romantic relationship between Nic and Jules is not very emotionally demanding, as soon after, Jules starts another affair with someone else. The self-determination theory can be used to describe their relationship, as it serves to explain the human behavior that serves to organize different needs and tendencies to explain the reason for their behavior and personalities they develop (Knee, Lonsbary, Canevello & Patrick, 2005). As depicted in the movie, Jules has found the freedom to do whatever she wishes and which makes her happy, which is reminiscent of self-determination theory. As the name depicts, when individuals are operating in their true self, perform activities that for which they find the motivation inside them and for which they are self-motivated. Due to these reasons, Jules finds the drive and satisfaction to start a relationship with someone else (Cholodenko, 2010). Her resolute is not influenced by the circumstances under which their children determine to find their biological father or even the fact that her partner is an alcohol addict. Jules chooses to kiss Paul and go to bed together out of her conscious ability to choose her best and act upon her desires (Cholodenko, 2010). Jules finds the authoritativeness of Nic to be unwarranted and she feels that she does not support her adequately and this brings issues in the relationship.

Jules determines that she will look for a job to supplement her earnings in the zeal to establish her business, which leads to work for Paul. True to the provisions of the self-determination theory of being mindful and employ reflective awareness of the individual needs and the tendencies they desire to act upon. Jules seeks for appreciation, which she feels that her partner does not give her adequately (Cholodenko, 2010). Nic and Jules' romantic relationship looks to be headed for disintegration, and this distance almost costs the family to break. According to the provisions of self-determination theory, partners endorse their involvement in those romantic relationships, and they do not blame their indulgence in other external factors such as manipulation, lack of knowledge, coercion or even guilt (Knee et al., 2005). Jules has full knowledge of what she is up to when she gets involved with Paul, and so does Paul. There are no external factors that coerce the two to start sleeping together, as it is even seen Paul telling Jules that he is falling for her. It is important to remember that it was Jules who kissed Paul impulsively because she felt that he appreciates her better than Nic did.

Paul and Jules Relationship

The romantic relationship between these two is basically based on their attachment. Ideally, attachment styles in adults are as a result of interactions and behaviors depicted by the partners (Eisenman, 2006). However, psychologists posit that attachments are developed right from children in terms of the way a child is fulfilled their needs-food, affection, care, and the likes. As it is evident in many ways, attachment entails a special emotional connection between romantic partners, or in a relationship, which exchanges care, comfort as well as pleasure (Cholodenko, 2010). Paul and Jules have developed an attachment when she works for him and realizes that he appreciates her work. It is evident that their affair is purely based on a mutual feeling, as Jules feel attached to Paul and feels prompted to reciprocate that appreciation. As the tenets of attachment theory assert, the attachment between romantic partners develops with time, and these two characters in the film depict how their attachment is developed through time (Eisenman, 2006). The two characters are close to each other for most of the time since Jules is working for Paul, the restaurant owner. This instance fulfills one of the requirements or features of attachment theory; proximity maintenance. It is clear that the two enjoy each other's company, and it is the same reason that Jules feels appreciated more by Paul (Cholodenko, 2010). It is fair to point out that even though the marriage between Nic and Jules has lasted for years, their physical intimacy appears to wane. Nic's criticalness and authoritarianism are some of the factors that seem to drive the affection with Jules away, but while working for Paul, she feels a connection between the two due to being treated well.

The style of attachment that partners have affects the dynamics of the relationship they have. It is vital that partners recognize the type of attachment they have with each other, and in this case, Paul and Jules have established their affair based on appreciation (Eisenman, 2006). According to attachment theory, this characteristic of attachment is a working model. In the case study, Jules is influenced to react according to her needs and how she would want to meet them. She is romantically getting cold because her partner has turned to alcoholism and work leaving their sexual life to dry (Cholodenko, 2010). Jules is able to interact seamlessly with Paul and meets her sexual needs and that of Paul's as well. In order for Jules to get closer to Paul, she realizes that she needs to be closer to him more often than not, which is reminiscent of a working model of the attachment theory (Eisenman, 2006). Also, the model provides that one of the partners in this model has the tendency to be distant and emotionally disconnected in a way, as they act as if they do not have any. In this instance, Paul is a character who does not have stable connections and does not have a family, making him a perfect fit for Jules, who needs a lot of attention. It is without a doubt that the attachment theory here comes into play.

Paul and Tanya Relationship

Apart from Jules, Paul has an occasional lover, with whom they are romantically involved a few time. As the films intimates, the romance between the two is as a result of social interaction between the pair, where the two develop an affair and sleep together from time to another. There is no much connection between the two, as Paul still has an affair with Jules, whom he more attracted to and wants to have a family with (Cholodenko, 2010). According to social exchange theory, social behavior emanates from an exchange process and aims to maximize benefits and minimize costs (Bippus, Boren & Worsham, 2008). Tanya works for Paul in his business, and social exchange theory plays the part in leading the two into having a love affair. The relationship between the two is based on the risks and rewards each one gets from the other; it is a give-and-take relationship for them. Although Tanya wants the relationship to continue, Paul is determined to experiment a relationship that leads to family, something that she is not willing to give (Cholodenko, 2010). At the time of their relationship, Paul is still seeing Jules because he is attracted to her more. After Paul declines to continue with the affair with Tanya, she feels that there is no need to force it. The tenets of social exchange theory in romantic relationships opine that if the costs outweigh the benefits, then there is a high chance that the romance will thrive further and vice versa (Bippus, Boren & Worsham, 2008). In this film study, Tanya and Paul perceive that the cost of the relationship is bigger than the benefit and therefore, they decide to end it.

Conclusion

The film depicts three romantic relationships which are formed through the theories in psychology. Self-exchange, attachment, as well as social exchange theories, are evident in the three relationships. Every romantic relationship is built on a distinct psychological theory, and it is vital to distinguish between them.

References

Bippus, A., Boren, J., & Worsham, S. (2008). Social exchange orientation and conflict communication in romantic relationships. Communication Research Reports, 25(3), 227-234. doi: 10.1080/08824090802237584

Cholodenko, L. (2010). The Kids Are All Right [Film]. United States: Focus Features.

Eisenman, R. (2006). Attachment and romantic relationships. Psyccritiques, 51(40). doi: 10.1037/a0003966

Knee, C., Lonsbary, C., Canevello, A., & Patrick, H. (2005). Self-determination and conflict in romantic relationships. Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology, 89(6), 997-1009. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.89.6.997