Agape and Philautia: Symbiosis or Parasitism?

Agape and Philautia, denoting love for others and self-love, respectively, can be a point of contention for contemporaries when it comes to relating with other people. The conflict often comes in when one questions whether they should love each other more or love their significant others in their lives. Agape, the love of others, is often essential in society. It will keep the peace among the members of a community where they put other people's interests before theirs, thus, being selfless. Philautia, on the other hand, is self-love, and it is essential in ensuring that one achieves their interests by putting them before anyone else. However, the contention comes in when the two are together and begs the question of whether it can be symbiotic or parasitic. Agape and Philautia are, however, symbiotic as one love leads to the other. Since, one must love oneself before they can love others, it is essential to combine both of them in describing how the two types of love inform each other.

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According to Bransen (309), he argues that for one to know what they want, they must first love themselves, reiterating the argument that Philautia is significant to humanity's advancement. In the article, Bransen goes on to say that Socrates, one of the prominent philosophers, cited that to know oneself is one of the most challenging tasks for contemporaries. The author says that part of the reason for the difficulty of knowing oneself is that self-love, Philautia, is challenging to attain. Society teaches its members not to be selfish, instead, to always put others' interests before theirs. While it is essential to love others to enhance and maintain harmony in society, there is a fine line between the two types of love. In an instance where the contemporaries praise agape more than Philautia, it leads to a conflict of interests. According to Bransen (314), it is normal and realistic for a person to put their interests before the rest of the people, reiterating self-love significance. In most instances, individuals prefer their comfort to others and will always put themselves ahead of others. However, after one has set their needs forward, they can then involve the rest in their lives, reinforcing the importance of the two types of love for human interaction. Agape has to stem from Philautia, and hence, a person first has to love themselves before they can learn to love others. The importance of self-knowledge is essential to Philautia so that the individual can then love others; therefore, reinforcing agape.

While Philautia should lead to agape, there are some instances where self-love is predominant. Pope (384) says that contemporary society advocates for individualism above all else, where each person has to watch out for their interests. In a continuously telling society to watch out for what they believe in and what makes them happy, the focus is on Philautia. The concept of individualism advocates for unselfish ambition to one's goals and aspirations. Pope (390) says that love is typically associated with self-sacrifice, how one may risk it all for a loved one. It is natural to desire one's interests. "Egalitarian love between therapeutically self-actualized persons is incompatible with self-sacrifice." One must be selfish to love. Bransen (310) says that one must accept their imperfections to love themselves truly. Kindness towards one's self is essential in welcoming their flaws. This kindness directly comes into conflict with self-hatred.

In addition to the new concepts of individualism that most contemporaries advocate for, the technological world sets up individuals to advance their interests over those of others. There are some instances, however, where a person is not capable of true love. According to Soltoft (1116), a light-minded person who lives in the now does not love himself because he can quickly let go of whatever sense of self he has. A heavy-minded person feels he is burdensome and wishes to get rid of it. The current world features work, staying at home, and enjoying recreational activities with various friends and other significant individuals. For instance, a person goes to work early in the morning and comes back home late at night, cooks, and then falls asleep. The schedule repeats itself for the rest of the week, leaving very little time for socialization. The current set up that people in urban areas work with makes socialization and makes meaningful friends difficult. Thus, most people will prefer to put their interests ahead rather than devoting their time and love to other people. These factors compound the lack of agape love, and hence, more contemporaries advocate for Philautia is the only way to advance in life. In such instances, agape love does not stem from Philautia, but they stifle each other.

The concepts of true self-love and true self-sacrifice are gaining importance in philosophical discourses for many reasons. For one, Lippit (125) argues that there is a distinction between proper and selfish forms of self-love. True self-love is the most profound and most important achievement for anyone serious about their success in life. Self-love entails doing things that one likes and benefits them, and hence, it is one of the deepest forms of Philautia in contemporary times. Agape, on the other hand, stems from self-sacrifice, where a person diminishes their wants and needs in favor of the other person's needs. However, before a person puts their needs and wants on hold, they need to have met their requirements, and hence, Philautia comes before agape. According to Ferrante, she documents her relationship with her childhood friend, Lila Cerullo. Elena models her ideal self after Lila, essentially copying her interests and ambitions. By having no sense of self, Elena does not have self-love. The lack of self-love thus opens up the room for agape love to thrive and, hence, reiterates the importance of limiting selfishness to love others. Additionally, it makes for a person's right learning curve to love others when they can comfortably love themselves. Essentially, loving oneself is the starting point of sharing love with others, and hence, the beginning point for agape love. Overall, it is essential to understand that Philautia and agape reinforce and complement each other, supporting the notion that they are symbiotic more than parasitic.

While Philautia and Agape complement each other, they can also be a point of disagreement when self-love creates a moral rivalry. According to Dziob (781), she asserts that sometimes, one can be in a dilemma that pits their love against the morality that society expects of them. Whether a man should love himself most are significant in the text, and the author explores several scholars' views on the matter. Dziob (782) says that Aristotle considers "not only necessary but also noble; for… we think it is the same people that are good men and are friends; these friends are "alike in their excellence," one loving another "as being the man he is." People choose friends that will be good for them and for two people to be friends, they must feel the good in each other. By wishing well for your friend, you inherently want well for yourself. Of repute in the text is that loving is more essential to friendship and interaction than one loving the other person; however, a man wishes their friend well, not as a means to their happiness but for the sake of their friend. The significance of the assertion is that self-love can bring about conflicts with society's moral compass. While a person should love themselves, it begs whether doing so will bring them out as being selfish. On the other hand, if a person wishes happiness for their friends, it may conflict with their quest for self-love; thus, pitting agape against Philautia. Overall, while most authors agree that agape stems from Philautia, there are several instances where the two can be a point of contention, especially when the interests of the individuals concerned do not match. Hence, agape and Philautia are parasitic rather than symbiotic.

As a rebuttal to the previous counterargument on agape being parasitic to Philautia, there are types of self-love which are negative forms, reiterating that neither of them is significant. According to Soltoft (1116), people can waste their lives on trivial things and end up not loving themselves. When people waste their lives, they do not love themselves as a person who cares about themselves will work hard to avoid instances where they do not maximize their opportunities and strengths. Thus, there are instances where a self-love is a negative form of love, and since it is difficult to love oneself, the involved individual cannot love others. In other instances, a person can spend a significant amount of their time chasing after inconsequential matters and forget to focus on what is essential in life. The person who occupies themselves with minor issues may think that they are doing themselves a favor, but they are trying to live up to the time trends in reality. Doing so will keep a person busy chasing inconsequential things that a person who loves themselves would not do. In some instances, one gets confused about what they want, as shown by Reed and Pippa, where they say showcase Craig Foster, a filmmaker, feels burned out and tired from his work. He takes a break from his job and, when diving, forms a relationship with an octopus. Studying and interacting with the octopus helps Foster figure out what from his life he was missing. Therefore, some people may confuse Philautia, thinking that they are chasing what makes them happy. Yet, in reality, they are chasing after inconsequential things and thus being a disservice to themselves and the significant people in their lives. Therefore, in some instances, Philautia and agape can cancel each other, not helpful when one form of love fails to lead to the other.

Conclusion

In summary, agape and Philautia are symbiotic, and they reinforce each other. As captured in the preceding paragraphs, one must accept their imperfections to love themselves truly. Kindness towards one's self is essential in welcoming their flaws. This kindness directly comes into conflict with self-hatred. For a person to love other people, they must learn to love themselves. Self-centeredness and selfishness are the two main points of self-love. Self-centeredness considers other people's wants and needs and your own, while greed is your desires. On the other hand, love is also associated with self-sacrifice, where one can risk it all for a person they love. It entails suppressing one's interests and desires in favor of the common good of the other party. However, for Philautia to be dominant, one must be selfish to focus on their interests. Doing so will enhance their outlook on life and focus on their inward desires. They can then move on to more important aspects of their lives, which entails loving other people since they are at a level where they are comfortable with their desires and needs in their lives.

Works Cited

Bransen, Jan. "Self-Knowledge, and Self-Love." Ethical Theory and Moral Practice, vol. 18, no. 2, 2015, pp. 309–321. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/24478555. Accessed 7 Dec. 2020.

Dziob, Anne Marie. "Aristotelian Friendship: Self-Love and Moral Rivalry." The Review of Metaphysics, vol. 46, no. 4, 1993, pp. 781–801. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/20129416. Accessed 7 Dec. 2020.

Ferrante, Elena. My Brilliant Friend. New York: Europa Editions, 2012.

Lippitt, John. "True Self-Love and True Self-Sacrifice." International Journal for Philosophy of Religion, vol. 66, no. 3, 2009, pp. 125–138. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/25652844. Accessed 7 Dec. 2020.

Pope, Stephen. "Expressive Individualism and True Self-Love: A Thomistic Perspective." TheJournal of Religion, vol. 71, no. 3, 1991, pp. 384–399.