The Distance Between Us - Literary Analysis Essay

Introduction

In the memoir, "The Distance between Us," by Reyna Grande, who is the author and has also won various awards, brings out the theme of distance prominently. At the beginning of the book, we see Grande's mother leaving for the United States to join her beloved husband, who had left two years before her departure. Reyna narrates the story of her siblings, there of them and herself, growing up without the care and love of their parents and in poverty. Reyna's parents had gone to the United States when the children were still very little in order to search for a better opportunities. At an advanced stage in the story, the father decides to bring Reyna and the siblings to the United States. This means that Reyna Grande spends time in both Mexico and America during her childhood. All the siblings, Mago, Betty, Carlos, and Reyna, managed to endure all the rough times when their parents were physically and emotionally absent, and this amounts to child abuse.

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Throughout the book, the author describes clearly emotional distance, which is created by the separation of the children from the parents and the physical distance brought by immigration. This feeling began in the story when their father made the decision to go to America with a hope of earning enough money to fulfill his big dream of constructing a house in Mexico (6). After the departure of their father, the children see a photo of him, and they recognized him as their real father (8). Later in the story, we see Reyna together with her siblings, finding out about a new baby that their parents had in the United States, and this makes them feel abandoned (39). When Mami departs with her boyfriend, the siblings together with Reyna are angered, and they feel miserable due to the fact that their mother failed to say goodbye, and this indicates that she did not care much (93). The feeling that Reyna went through is so touching, and to some extent, the experience that she went through makes me sad. In America, the Majority of the families are immigrants, and only a few are Native Americans. When it comes to my opinion, the theme is critical since the majority of the American families have to experience the challenges brought about by the immigration, such as physical distance caused to the family members. During this time, the families are separated physically, and this also leads to the emergence of the emotional rift as the bond tends to weaken. The occurrence of the emotional rift renders it hard for the families to repair their relationship in case of a dent.

Often, geographical distance separates people and drives them further. Ideally, lack of contact and face-to-face communication always disconnect people who were friends and from their families. In the book, Reyna's parents decide to send clothes as a gift to the children, and they turned out to be too small, and this is because the parents did not know how much the children had grown up, and this makes the children more upset. Usually, this feeling is there, and I remember experiencing it and feeling the same way as Reyna and her siblings. This feeling tends to be familiar, especially when people move away from their family, and this always takes different paths.

When I was six years old, I was staying with my grandmother, who happened to be very caring, and she took care of me very well. When I attained the age of ten, my parents decided to move to the northern part of China, which was far away from the southern part of where my grandmother lives. This made me sad since it meant that I couldn't often visit my grandmother the way I used to. In the beginning, I would call her every week or so in order to update on how my life was moving in the new environment. It was difficult for me to get used to a new place, and this forced me to put more efforts, and after I stopped calling her as often as I used to. It was very difficult for me to make new friends, and I had to work extra harder to do. When turned 12-year-old during the winter, my family and I went back to the southern part of China to pay a visit to my grandmother, and when I saw her, there was no much change in her except for the white hair in her head which had increased. She was thrilled to see me after two years, and we talked happily just the way we used to before we departed. However, the conversation I had with her was horrible, and after I talked to her about my life in the new place, there was nothing left to say to her. It was clear that I could not understand my grandmother the way I used to two years ago. It is true that the geographical distance had separated us into different paths. At first, in the book, the primary "distance" is geographical, and as the story goes on, this changes, and we see the children getting isolated emotionally from their parents. This clearly demonstrates that physical distance sometimes created an emotional gap, which is very difficult to bridge.

In the story, Reyna, together with her siblings, went thought not only the separation caused by physical distance but also experiencing the challenge of being disconnected emotionally with their parents. My father was a businessman, and he was very busy while working outside the country. My school in China had an annual parents' meeting that allowed us to have a chance to spend a day with our parents at school and also a chance for the teachers to introduce the class material to parents. I waited patiently on my sit for the day to finally meet him, and I kept looking at how other parents as they slowly fill up the classroom. The class started without my father being inside, and after it ended, I went to the bathroom, and as I was in the hallway, I saw my father wandering around. I felt extremely happy and at the same time, confused I regard to what he was doing. My father could not find my classroom since he did not know my grade, and this saddened me more because he missed the chance to spend time with me. Despite that, I understood him, and it was good enough that he came. My dad has been working very hard to ensure the family is okay; hence the reason why he did not have much time to spend with me. I can understand that now, unlike when I was young when I always felt isolated from him. Emotional cutoff or estrangement can also be caused by a lack of communication and company. Once the emotional distance is formed, it becomes difficult to repair.

The relationship between people is always easy to form, but very difficult to rebuild or repair. Sometimes even people who are in love and love each other profoundly ended up fighting as the emotional attachments break. During my last year in high school, my father and I had a fight. This has happened because my family moved to the United States when I was fourteen years, and my father had to stay in China most of the time because he still had some business to do there. This limits the amount of time we could spend together despite doing so during my childhood. At some point, I developed a closer relationship with my dog than my father, and this so because when I was in my last year of high school, my dad became "odd." He started to ask for my grades continuously and making continuous calls to me to inquire about the same. When I was younger, I wanted more of his attention, but his sudden change of attitude made me felt very uncomfortable. By the time I was ready for my college admission, he had given me a call, and we had a long conversation over the phone. Ideally, my dad knew nothing more in regard to the college system, but he still wants to interfere with my college choice. He kept on blaming me for not working harder and blaming my mother also for not pushing us harder. This made me angry since he was not available most of the time but still manages to blame my mother for everything. This made me stop talking to him for a very long period. When I was little, I had always admired him and tried my very best to make him proud, but now I no longer care about his opinions. I know someday we will talk about our relationship, even though it is hard for the day to come. Ideally, the distance between my father and myself is hard to repair because of his continuous absence.

The memoir's title, "The Distance between Us," ultimately refers not to the physical distances between Reyna, her siblings, and their parents, but the emotional distances that cleave their family into several broken and perhaps unfixable pieces. As Grande excavates her youth, it becomes clear that physical distance and emotional distance are inextricably intertwined, as, during the times that families are separated physically, deep emotional rifts born out of resentment, confusion, and heartbreak often form. Once physically reconnected, it becomes difficult-sometimes even impossible-to leap these great chasms and repair the relationships that once were.