Divorces have become so familiar that it no longer comes as a shock when we hear of a couple getting divorced. Divorces started becoming more prevalent in the 20th century as compared to the past; not that marriages were perfect, it is just that the traditional roles that were played by men and women changed. This is due to urbanization, industrialization and the Second World War which forced women to leave their homes and get to working places. This gave women freedom and control over their lives as they gained a voice in decision making over family matters. On the other hand, this presented a loophole for men to reduce their commitment to marriage and reduce their sense of responsibility. Just as marriage is a choice, the decision on whether to stay in the marriage is also an open option (Whitehead, 1997). Thus couples do not need to persevere violence, adultery and live with someone they do not love.
Violence is one thing that no one should go through. It brings about both physical and emotional pain. If violence is so painful from strangers, imagine it coming from the person you love most. Many couples put up with violence and expose themselves to danger. The big question is, why put up with a hostile environment? When it comes to domestic violence, it is a matter of life and death. Some people have been murdered by their spouses either because one partner became too aggressive and ended up killing their partner or in self-defense. If a spouse feels endangered, then there is no need to stay in such a marriage. It would be the same as having a death wish, and this is the point where a person should accept that for their safety then it is convenient to divorce. What is marriage if all that the parties experience is the pain? Violence in a marriage brings hatred in the family and desire for vengeance. This affects children negatively, and this is why I believe divorce gives someone a chance to get out of a hostile environment in search for peace.
Marriage is a union of two people, and when one party decides to be unfaithful, then the union is broken. This is the worst form of betrayal a married person can go through. It destroys the trust between the couple. In many cases, cheating brings about a lot of problems in a marriage, and it is worse if the cheating party decides to abandon their family to be with the other person. Many men and women suffer a lot of pain due to unfaithfulness and to an extreme some end up committing suicide. The thought of sharing a partner can cause depression and violence. One should not be tied down to a marriage if their spouse is cheating. Forgiveness is a choice, but if the betrayal is too much for a person, then that person has a right to file for a divorce.
Many people get married at an early age. Some of them are not even sure of what their goals in life are. This means that many individuals do not know what they want in a marriage at the time and getting married could be a mistake. Others realize that they did not know their partners well enough and discover many things that they do not like about them. Human beings tend to give the best impression when they meet someone. In reality, some end up getting married to strangers.' Unlike in the past where married couples had to stay together, thanks to a precedent set in 1969 in the State of California, couples can divorce on no-fault grounds (Whitehead, 1997). This way couples do not have to stay in miserable, loveless relationships. Divorce gives them a chance to amend their mistakes and move on with their lives; it brings freedom where people stay married because they love one another.
Despite the argument that divorce has a negative impact on children, it is important for children to identify with their parents as a single entity (Karla, 2010). In as much as children do not want to see their parents separate, they also want to see their parents relate well with each other. No child wants to see their parents suffer which is why divorce is necessary in cases of violent marriages where children could be caught in the middle and end up hurt both physically and emotionally. Children tend to be happy when their parents are happy not when they see that the relationship between them is miserable and without love.
Others argue that divorce has changed terms of marriage from a system of promises to one of threats and warnings. In my opinion, divorce has made marriage a serious union where parties are aware that they need to respect each other; otherwise, they do not need to put up with it. It is important for spouses to know that there are consequences for their actions. Thus husbands and wives are independent and have a voice in their marriage (Karla, 2010). Therefore, before one makes the decision to cheat or do something that would hurt their spouse, they are aware of the outcome of the actions they undertake.
Despite the negative impact on society, divorce has brought freedom. Gone are the days when people were forced to stay in abusive marriages with people they did not love. Couples should only stay together because they want to and love one another.
Karla Hackstaff. Marriage in a Culture of Divorce. Temple University Press, 2010.
Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe. The divorce culture. Knopf, 1997.
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