Research Paper on Muslim Marriage in Pakistan: Solidifying Alliances & Families

Introduction

Marriage is adamantly considered as the most fundamental element of the family unit in Muslim societies such as Pakistan since it results in an increase in the generation as a whole. Marriage in Pakistan adheres to the Islamic jurisprudence whereby it is not only viewed as an amalgamation between husband and wife but also involves forming a solid alliance between the involved families. Arranged marriages involve family member, friend or third party person bringing two supposedly compatible candidates into matrimony. The two candidates are often strangers to each other. In Pakistan, it is not culturally acceptable to enter into a love marriage without family approval, which fundamentally gives family members a massive influence of marriage partners (Richards, 77). The traditional types of marriages performed in Pakistan are prevalent, and they are not delivered on the wish of women or considering their rights, preferably they are achieved due to upholding their old traditions and rights of society and culture. In such types of traditional marriages, men enjoy because they have all powers over the women and superiority as well (Agha, 66). Unfortunately, the women in marriage relationship suffer a lot mentally and physically. Therefore, the investigation focuses on critical analysis of the multidimensional elements involved in an arranged marriage in Pakistan

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Pakistan's arranged marriages are often planned when the children are young, and therefore they have no real say when older but follow the wishes of parents. The family which is the fundamental unit of Pakistan's society decides and carronades the predetermined marriage arrangements for each individual at their tender age (Richards, 79). The family often begins by asking questions about the personality, beauty, family education and financial status of the partner. After finding a compatible person, they make a recommendation for the couple to begin a courtship. Physical contact may not be part of the meeting since the Islam law prohibits unmarried, unrelated men and women to be alone together (Kilshaw, 109). The courtship period allows the partners to familiarize with each other and make a decision on marriage. After arriving at a marriage decision, a representative is sent to the potential bride's family so that they can be acquainted with each other. It is then followed by a proposal party conducted at the bride's home where the groom's parents and family elders ask for hand in marriage.

An engagement party is then prepared after a successful marriage proposal. Only a small section of the groom's and bride's family members are allowed to attend the ceremony. It is characterized by gifts such as jewelry and rings. Since the Pakistan traditions do not allow the expected bride and groom to come into contact the ring is usually placed by the groom's mother onto the bride's finger and vice versa (Richards, 77). Prayers as a vital aspect are then conducted for the couple. Finally, the wedding date is set. Wedding plans in Pakistan take long approximately one year. The wedding involves three main customs: Rasm-e-Henna, Nikah and Walima. Rasm-e-Henna is done a few days before the main wedding ceremony, and the application of henna characterizes it onto the hands of the groom and bride. The dressing code for the groom is a casual black or white shalwar qameez while the bride puts on an embroidered brightly colored shalwar kameez that is accompanied by jewelry.

Despite the advancement in the society, the Pakistanis have adamantly remained loyal to their traditional arranged marriage and strictly promotion of traditions and customs characterized by diverse ceremonies. For instance, during the bridal ceremony, a selected number of bride's closely related women apply henna on her hands and feed heron sweets. This ritual depicts good luck and longevity to the bride's married life (Mughal, 179). Likewise, the groom's head is applied with oil and sweets also fed to him. The ceremony is accompanied by dance competitions between the bride's and groom's family. Nikah which is a formal marriage ceremony is then conducted in which both family members sign marriage contract in the presence of a licensed Imam, Sheikh or Mullah, and witnesses from both sides. Aarsi Mushaf Dikhana is done after Nikah to allow the groom and bride to see each other's face. An embroidered shawl that is held over the couple's head allows them to see one another in the mirror. The act unveils the bride's face that had been hidden during Nikah. Finally, the fruit is shared between the couple and gifts and congratulatory messages offered to them (Bertolani, 165).

The sending off segment known as Rukhsati takes place after the Nikah. The groom and bride are joined by the marriage institution in the eyes of God and the bride free to bid bye to her family. The Holy Qur'an is embraced over the bride's head as a sign of blessing and protection of Allah on the couple as they leave. In Pakistan weddings, dinner is served and consists of several dishes that contain high meat contents. The recipes include; pullao, charge, roasted fowl and lamb, kebabs, Florida among others. Additionally gifts in the form of money are given to the couple. The final custom to be performed is the Walima whereby the couple hosts their the first dinner as husband and wife (Qidwai, 26). The bridegroom's parents strictly implement the tradition. To make walima valid the blessings and presence of the parents are vital. The bride's family and their guests are invited for the feast as well. The intention of Walima is publicity of the marriage. It is at this ceremony that the couple is publicly declared to be married.

In the Pakistan arranged marriage honeymoon known as Shab-i-Zifaf allows the couple to spend the first night together in a well-decorated bedroom. The groom's female relatives guide the bride to the bedroom and left to wait for the groom who is still having time with the relatives. The groom then enters the bedroom to attend to his waiting bride after the relatives leave. On the first night, the groom is allowed customary to uncover the bride's veil to reveal her face as well as present a token of affection to her (Shaw, 218). Pakistan wedding customs vary depending on the ethnic or geographical origin of the bride and groom. Other customs that may be performed include wearing of the turban which marks the start of manhood for the groom, Dooth pilai ceremony characterized by the provision of milk to the groom by bride's brothers and cousins in exchange of money and presents among other customs.

In the 18th centuries arranged marriages were considered normal and prevalent especially between close relatives. Nevertheless, due to the increase in countries economic value, individualism and social mobility, the popularity and cultural practice for arranged marriages and consanguineous marriages are slowly and steadily fading away (Qidwai, 29). Despite the current slow abandonment of the arraged marriage institution, it depicted diverse advantages which incudes, the elimination of stress trying to find a life partner since the partners are not forced into dating scenes or defend their values to someone; it keeps parents involved in the relationship, creating harmony between the two families hence each receives the benefit from the relationship formation. The arranged marriage also keeps people rooted in their family, culture, and ethics. For instance, after the marriage husband show diligence, reliability and care while wives display reserves and discretion. Husbands become introverted, and both partners reduce their social networks (Kilshaw, 111). Moreover, it also encompasses a reduction in conflict when children are involved in the family. Differences in religion, education, and discipline enforcement may lead to different ideas that negatively impact the child. With the arranged marriage, being the foundation of the relationship children born in such union have a higher chance of having parents that have a standard stand on these aspects of life. Arranged marriages emphasize relationship outside emotions; therefore, couples in this state focus on creating a successful partnership which allows them to commit to a long term process thus creating stability for enjoyment in marriage.

On the contrary, arranged marriages have limitations such as include; increase in the risk of child marriage since they are married off younger than 12 years when they are not ready for the idea of free choice. The burden of financial responsibility is placed on the married daughter by his family especially when the community is poor and impoverished. By arranging a marriage quickly, the monetary obligations are reduced creating less food security for everyone in the family. Consequently, arranged marriages limit the choice of one to have a life partner, especially where the majority of the population of the nation where they live rejects, stereotype or segregates them. It also eliminates the dating phase of life that is characterized by breakups that are emotionally challenging through courtship. Arranged marriages may make couples feel alienated from their families since some may not allow the couple to have any say in the occurrences of the relationship.

Additionally, this type of marriage eliminates love from the equation; therefore emotions is not a priority since no one cares whether if you will fall in love with the other partner. It forces one to live with a stranger and takes time to adapt. Arranged marriages increase the risk of mental health issues because the individual's predilections will be forfeited for the greater good of all the people involved (Qidwai, 26) The decision to overlook oneself for the good of others brings about psychological problems such as depression, stress, and anxiety. If in any case, the partner turns out to be abusive in the relationship them increase in mental health problems would be witnessed. It may also take time to establish trust because the couple has limited time to study and learn one another before the union is conducted. The trust issues may make it difficult for the relationship to last hence the risk of an unfulfilling life.

Conclusion

Conclusively, arranged marriages have existed since ancient times, and the process continues to develop along with technological advances. The advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages can be beneficial to Pakistan's culture. It is unto each family and person to decide the best course to undertake (Kilshaw, 109). Unlike the child marriage aspect that has been condemned by the international community, arranged marriages for the adults can still be conducted depending on the ethnic values of the Islamic religion that is embraced by the Pakistan people. The plans to officiating arranged marriages can lay its foundation on the stated pros and cons so that it is favorable to both parties. No one should feel a slave to his/her consciousness and oneself. True love should be the main component of a happy marriage and family. Arranged marriages should embrace the factor of love to strengthen their union since it is significant to uniting two families clans or nations.

Works Cited

Agha, Nadia. "Kinship in rural Pakistan: Consanguineous marriages and their implications for women." Women's Studies International Forum. Vol. 54. Pergamon, 2016.

Bertolani, Barbara. Structural Restrictions and Personal Desires: Arranged Marriages between Punjab and Italy." Boundaries within: nation, kinship, and identity among migrants and minorities. Springer, Cham, 2017. 161-180.

Kilshaw, Susie, et al. Arranging Marriage; Negotiating Risk: Genetics and Society in Qatar. Anthropology & Medicine, vol. 22, no. 2, Aug. 2015, pp. 98-113.

Mughal, Muhammad AZ. "Exchange Relations and Social Change in Rural Pakistan: Rituals and Ceremonies of Childbirth, Marriage and Deat...