Paper Example on US Mass Incarceration: A Result of Goofs?

Introduction

The United States has the highest rate of incarceration in the world, with about 2.3 million people behind bars (Sawyer & Wagner, 2020). Compared to other countries, it is evident that the US systems are the result of bubble-headed goofs who did not have a sober mind when enacting policies. China, for instance, with a population four times that of the US of about 1.397 billion, has only about 1.6 million prison population (Walmsey, 2018). The war on drugs played a significant part in mass incarceration with police busting people up for possession of pot who would then be prosecuted and possibly incarcerated. From these facts, I think the US has an unwarranted high rate of incarceration that is a result of foolish policies that are not yielding any positive results. I am saddened and above all utterly shocked by the fact that mass incarceration costs about $182 billion each year (Prison Policy Initiative, 2020). This expenditure is a case of ridiculous misplaced priorities with other sectors such as education and health in need of more funding. I think that mass incarceration is a pathetic attempt to maintain public safety; hence the US needs to change its policies ASAP to help reduce the rate of incarceration.

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Revised

The United States has the highest rate of incarceration in the world, with about 2.3 million people behind bars (Sawyer & Wagner, 2020). Compared to other countries, it is evident that the US systems are flawed due to strict and harsh enacting policies. China, for instance, with a population four times that of the US of about 1.397 billion, has only about 1.6 million prison population (Walmsey, 2018). The war on drugs played a significant part in mass incarceration. Police made arrests for possession of marijuana, which would result in prosecution and possible incarceration. From these facts, the US has an unwarranted high rate of incarceration that is a result of policies that are not yielding any positive results. It is astounding that mass incarceration costs about $182 billion each year (Prison Policy Initiative, 2020). This expenditure is a case of misplaced priorities with other sectors such as education and health in need of more funding. Although mass incarceration is an attempt to maintain public safety, it has cost citizens dearly with no results; hence the US needs to change its policies to help reduce the rate of incarceration.

Reflection

Professional writing is a delicate process that requires the writer to avoid emotionally charged words and first-person. In the first draft, these common mistakes were made. First-person was used on three occasions with phrases such as ‘I am’ and ‘I think.’ First-person reduced the quality of the work. Hence in the revised draft, these phrases were eliminated to give it a more professional tone.

Emotional words were also frequently used with policies described as foolish, and people described as not having a sober mind as well as having ridiculous priorities. Emotional words are not suitable for professional writing. Readers of professional articles vary and using emotional language, as in this case, insults some people, which leads to poor quality papers. As a result, these words and phrases were removed in the revised draft.

Conclusion

Finally, it is common for writers to mistakenly or knowingly use slang in their writing. Slang deteriorates the quality of a paper as not all readers may be aware of the meaning, thus may hinder effective communication. In the first draft, slang was used with words and phrases such as bubble-headed goof, bust people up, pot, and ASAP. While these words and phrases may be suitable while conversing, they are unsuitable in professional writing. Hence, these words were removed or changed with pot changed to marijuana and bust people up changed to arrested. As a result of editing to remove slang, emotionally charged words, and use of first-person, the revised draft communicated more effectively.

References

Sawyer, W., & Wagner, P. (2020, Mar. 24). Mass incarceration: The whole pie 2020. Prison Policy Initiative. https://www.prisonpolicy.org/reports/pie2020.html

Walmsley, R. (2018). World prison population list. World Prison Brief. https://www.prisonstudies.org/sites/default/files/resources/downloads/wppl_12.pdf