Overview of the Text of Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People

Introduction

Dale Carnegie wrote the book that depicts the influence of people in order to obtain friends. He was at one point a salesman in his life and was very successful. He made his sales territory a national leader for the organizations he worked for at the time (Carnegie 26). Based on his history, the advice he gives in his book is fundamental to marketers and business persons who want to be successful in their careers. Carnegie ended his career in life and taught public speaking.

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Principles from the Book

Carnegie focuses on criticizing, condemning and complaining about others in the society. Based on psychology, animals which are rewarded for good behavior learn much faster than those that are punished for bad behavior. Studies in the subject show that human beings respond in the same way as the animals. According to Carnegie, it is impossible to make a change that is effective through criticism (Carnegie 87). Individuals are built on emotions rather than logic, and the pride and ego play a significant role in their lives. Criticism leads to a person trying to justify their actions other than paying attention to the changes that need to be addressed.

This principle can be applied in marketing where organizations should take into consideration the nature of individuals as emotional beings. Customers will be motivated to buy products that reward them for their contribution in building the brand name and profitability of the entity (Carnegie 89). Marketing strategies should, therefore, focus on ensuring the consumers have the ability the egos of the consumers are pampered to influence them to buy the products or services being offered.

Carnegie goes ahead and introduces another vital principle that can be deployed when dealing with other individuals. He states that the most profound need for every human being is the desire to be appreciated. Everyone needs to feel recognized for their efforts in accomplishing a task which will then motivate them to produce even better results. Marketers can harness this principle and appeal to the psychology of human beings by applies it in the marketing strategy. Companies need to ensure they appreciate their customers for purchases made through the various marketing strategies. Brand messages that welcome customers are an effective method since it allows the customers to feel appreciated. Occasionally, companies should have programs that reward customers for buying a brand (Carnegie 93). For instance, customers can be awarded prizes if they are found purchasing or using a brand. The strategies will make the customers feel appreciated and essential to the company.

It is, however, important to note the difference that exists between flattery and appreciation. Honest and sincere appreciation of others is an important principle. Genuine appreciation is a powerful tool that allows one to change their perception of themselves positively motivates them and steers them to be a successful individual (Carnegie 101). The principle can be applied as a strategy of inbound marketing.

According to Carnegie, it is essential to take into consideration the interests of others rather than our interests (Carnegie 102). Therefore, it is important to give others what they want other than what you want as an individual. This is a crucial principle in influencing others. Thus, when the goal is to convince an individual to do something, it is essential to determine the factors that motivate them and utilize them to achieve the objective. In marketing, this is a fundamental principle that allows companies to be successful. Entities have to identify a gap in the satisfaction of customer needs and wants and innovate products and services to fill it. Business must have the ability to view things from the customers' point of view and structure their strategies based on the same. As a personal seller, it is important to take the customer's point of view into to maximize on sales. When selling a product, the marketer must be able to convince the customer that the purchase of the product is in their best interest. The language of the marketer must be about the customer rather than the product.

Principles to Make Others like You

Carnegie goes ahead and offers various laws that individuals can apply in their lives to make others like them. These principles are practical and useful in allowing individuals to interact effectively with others in the society. Deploying these principles in the daily life will help an individual ensure they develop excellent interpersonal skills (Carnegie 119). The principles can be applied in the work environment to foster positive relations with others and thus fuel the productivity of individuals in the organization.

The first principle an individual can use to make other people like them is avoiding arguments. Whenever individuals are convinced that they are right about something, they are often compelled to argue with others. According to Carnegie, it is impossible for individuals to win an argument (Carnegie 124). During a disagreement and an individual can either win or lose. When one fails they will feel bad about it, similarly when one wins we end up making the other person feel inferior, hurt their ego and at the same time lead to resentment of the winner. Therefore, the result is a loss for both individuals. Individuals can harness the most from disagreement by welcoming it as it may have a positive outcome. Listening and looking for areas of agreement will ensure an individual gain the most from an argument in addition to being honest about mistakes.

The second principle is respect for the opinions of others. Carnegie advises individuals to ensure they avoid showing that they are going to prove something. A personal seller needs to master this skill as recommended by Carnegie. Using the story that is presented in the book about the boy who chose a small company rather than the big companies, marketers can apply the lessons from it to motivate customers to buy their products. Even when not in physical contact with the customer's marketers must learn to be enthusiastic and use their voices to make the customers feel appreciated (Carnegie 132). Additionally, marketers should learn to use the names of the customers since it makes them feel important.

Most Important Factors from the Book

What I found to be most important from the book is the principle of being a good listener. In most occasions, individuals including myself are so much focused on themselves that they forget about the needs of others. However, to hold a useful and meaningful conversation requires a person to be a good listener. Listening shows that one is interested in the subject that the other party is presenting. According to Carnegie, listening is a powerful tool that can tame even the most violent critic or ill-tempered person (Carnegie 143). Listening allows one to understand the issues that are being raised by the other party and therefore provide meaningful and useful responses even in heated arguments. The skill goes a long way in resolving conflicts or allowing the other people taken care for and feels appreciated. The ability is applicable both in my personal life with friends and family and in the work environment as a marketer.

Knowledge Gained

The book is essential for successful people in the society. I learned so much from it which is information that I can apply to improve and develop my interpersonal skills when dealing with others. The knowledge presented by Carnegie will help me interact with others more effectively and increase my chances of being a successful personal seller. Implementing these techniques might not always provide the desired results; however, they can change the attitudes of others towards us and thus have a chance of increasing success. (Carnegie 187).

The Only Way to Get the Best of an Argument Is To Avoid It

One of the most common mistakes that Carnegie identified is meeting aggression with aggression which is a battle I fight each day. Once encountered by an argument, it is not common to take the high road and keep calm during the process. Eventually, it reaches a point where you can't withstand it anymore and lash out. The outcome happens all the time with my roommate and my friends. Carnegie points out that it is impossible to win an argument and in case we win; we leave the other party feeling inferior and even resentfully (Carnegie 197). It is no gain if all winning the debate will yield is a sense of superiority. In real sense arguing convinces the other person that he/she is right. However, according to Carnegie, admitting the importance of the other person through appreciation might expand their ego and make them sympathetic and kind (Carnegie 123). One of the lessons to put to action is learning to how to control the first instinctive impression which acting out in defense, regardless of whether on the right or wrong. Controlling this attribute will involve mastering the art of keeping calm and first appreciating the fact that the topic has been brought up in the first place. The situation will allow a window for reasoning and analyzing the situation as well as consolidating the facts. It will let the other party make their argument as you listen without interrupting or debating with them. Taking time to think about the problem will allow for a moment of honesty and soul-searching to determine the facts to the argument and if the opponent was right (Carnegie 134). It is also prudent to look for areas of agreement which will help in acknowledging that at some point that there was a mistake.

According to Carnegie, It is an act of selflessness to accept one's mistakes and appreciate the other party for being right (Carnegie 127). The scenario provides an enormous advantage for a bargain as well as reducing the weight of the matter. However, in situations where hard the case can't be avoided, practicing patience and calmness will go a long way in finding the solution to the problem at hand. It also may sound as if we are challenging them and often leads to them being defensive. According to Carnegie, showing respect for other people's opinion minimizes changes of the desire to battle or argue (Carnegie 223). Approaching the situation in a friendly manner shows that we value the other person's feelings and often leads to them agree to what we are putting across. Conclusively, mastering and practicing this principle will improve how I handle arguments in my personal life as well as the professional bit of my career.

Work Cited

Carnegie, D. (2017). How to win friends & influence people. Musaicum Books.