Love Is Not Enough: Understanding the Complexities of Relationships - Essay Sample

Introduction

Sometimes love is not enough to maintain the health of a relationship. I've heard a lot of people talk about their unhealthy relationships yet they are still in love with their partners and chose to stay in their existing situation. I understand that it is very possible to have affection for someone even if you feel caged. However, it is not possible to establish a connection with your partner based on those three words and eight letters "I LOVE YOU." It is vital to understand that "Love" is only an ingredient, or an element of the whole aspect of relationships, as they require other ingredients to establish something healthy and solid. Relationships are like food; hence it is vital to incorporate all the vital ingredients in their right proportions to have an enjoyable meal. Falling in love is beautiful, but it is more beautiful when you know what spices up the love.

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Show affection daily. At times just being loved is not enough. It is important to show it in your actions. Acts that indicate physical attraction such as hugging, holding of hands, or kissing help to release stress and improve one's mood, thereby increasing the satisfaction in the relationship (Ackerman & Griskevicius). It is vital to renew the feelings of love daily. When one takes them for granted and fails to get time to express them every day, they get lost forever. Zita et al. state that "Psychological well-being and personality traits are associated with experiencing love in everyday life." Consistent attention would help to anticipate a partner's needs, understand their love language, always making the time, and paying attention to the little things to cheer them on in whatever they engage in.

Among the keys to a healthy relationship is appreciation. Remember from the first dates how you used to impress each other? Appreciation plays an active role in establishing a fulfilling relationship. One can easily start by simply telling their partner how great they look or "thank you for being there for me." Appreciation improves one's effort in anything they do in the relationship, including their commitment to the other partner. It will encourage them to make a special effort when they put together their daily wardrobe to make them look best for you while displaying their best traits, i.e. if your partner likes you on blue, and you are also okay in it, why not put on that blue tie or scarf? This may also be a subtle manner of signaling to your partner that you appreciate his or her likes and would like to give them the pleasure of seeing you on them.

Appreciation also helps to bring out the potential and greatness of any relationship and re-ignite the existing love (Ackerman & Griskevicius). This may stem from simple acts such as paying full attention to what they saying, thanking them for the little things they do, appreciating each other for the little things you contribute to the relationship, and expressing what you love about your partner. As Milligan states, "we love too few things in the world therefore, we need to be loved too, to appreciate our value and worth of life itself." Appreciating yourself more is a by-product of appreciating others and that is another step towards increasing your self-love and your ability to not hold back but share the love in your relationships.

Having fun and excitement helps to grow a relationship. Taking part in activities that enhance fun and excitement is among the most vital elements of a healthy relationship. Such activities provide a way to deepen a person's communication and connection. Boring, dull, lifeless, tedious, and stale are words that you would not want to use to describe your relationships. On the contrary, frugal, well-planned, serious, productive, busy, or precise would indicate a strong and healthy relationship, they may not likely be what makes a relationship appealing. Therefore, what was it at the onset of your relationship that made so attractive? What was about your partner that made you feel like spending more time with them?

When couples first meet, they spend a significant amount of time taking part in fun activities together. They spend quality time getting to know each other better. Participating in lighthearted activities that both of you love and enjoy would make you feel closer to one another. Most people plan to keep that spark and fun forever in their relationship. However, with the onset of the busy meetings, household chores, kids, long working hours, and challenges that present themselves daily, taking time to be together and have fun takes a back seat compared to the other priorities (Braxton-Davis). In this case, the couple can schedule some fun, get active, permit themselves to be kids again, be open to trying new things, protect fun from resentment and conflict, budget for some fun and make having fun part of their priorities.

Making compromises and being selfless are essential elements of a fulfilling relationship. Once you enter the kingdom of love, you have to understand the consequences that accompany it. These include the sacrifices that one has to make to keep the relationship alive. Some people play it safe and avoid making compromises, forgetting that there is no gain without pain. Some of the sacrifices that people in relationships make include their alone time, the need to be right, their privacy, and the ability to set independent goals (Braxton-Davis). This goes along with compromises. In relationships, compromise involves the two of you coming to some sort of impasse where you are not sure of how to cross. However, the best way resides on the two of you making some adjustments in your desires or behavior to make the relationship flow again. A relationship based on healthy compromises continues to work overtime. Compromise involves accepting each other's flaws. The sooner you accept your partner's imperfections, the sooner you experience a closer bond with the person.C

Conclusion

To conclude, as much as you love your partners, you can never give them more affection and love, but you can show it more. It may not be about giving them more time, but about the little things that go all the way when it comes to showing someone that they matter to you and how you feel about them. As Mhondera put it "success in every field requires a definite goal, a burning desire to go after it and determination to do whatever it takes to succeed." Various threads sew people together to attach them for a lifetime. However, healthy relationships don't just happen magically. It is, therefore, vital to constantly work for it with all your heart, mind, and soul.

Works Cited

Ackerman, Joshua, and Griskevicius, Vladas. Let's get serious: Communication commitment in romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2011.

Braxton-Davis, Princess. The social psychology of love and attraction. McNair Scholars Journal, 2010.

Mhondera, Chenjerai. A case of love and hate: The book of quotes volume 1. Folsom Lake College, 2018.

Milligan, Tony. Love. Folsom Lake College, 2011.

Zeta, Oravecz et al. Psychological well-being and personality traits are associated with experiencing love in everyday life. Folsom Lake College, 2020.