Introduction/Conclusion:
One way to improve the conclusion is through its content; to begin, a concluding paragraph contains a concluding restatement (a reworded thesis statement), concluding remarks (final thoughts about the topic of discussion), and a concluding sentence (opinion, prediction, or suggestion about the topic of discussion). A concluding paragraph should not contain new information or new ideas, but evaluate what's already been discussed.
With this information in mind, look at the following sentence from your concluding paragraph: Other factors that have facilitated the growth of franchises include well-developed roads and vision 2030 of Saudi Arabia.
This statement introduces new information (not mentioned before) about additional reasons why franchises have been successful in Saudi Arabia. As such, they do not belong in a concluding paragraph. Instead, they belong in section two on the factors which have facilitated franchise growth in Saudi Arabia. Thus, how would you modify the content's placement for an improved conclusion and enhanced organization accordingly?
Content Development:
Your discussion of the success of businesses in Saudi Arabia includes very specific businesses; you mention particular companies like McDonald's and Be Harmony. However, in the section on risks, you are very general; you mention a few risks that are common in any country and in any business, such as cybersecurity and the country's legal requirements. Only one of the risks you mention is specific to Saudi Arabia: the fact that the country's economy is dependent on a product whose price is subject to considerable fluctuation.
What other possible risks might there be that are found in Saudi Arabia particularly, or perhaps in that area of the world as a whole, and would not be equally true for business owners in other countries? You mention cultural requirements, for example, but you don't go into much detail. What specific cultural or religious expectations exist in Saudi Arabia that do not exist elsewhere and that might affect how a foreign business needs to operate? These more specific examples will help you to develop this section of your paper more fully.
Organization:
One way to improve the organization is through content placement; body paragraphs should correspond to the headers under which they appear for logical placement of information.
With this information in mind, look at the following topic sentence from your writing: Saudi Arabia has a favorable business environment for franchising.
This topic sentence (and the body paragraph it appears in) appears under the section/header of a "Striking Observation about US Franchises in Saudi Arabia." However, the following section/header seems more appropriate for this content: "Why Franchises are Successful in Saudi Arabia." The fact that Saudi Arabia has a favorable business environment is why franchises are successful in Saudi Arabia! Thus, how would you modify the content placement for improved organization accordingly?
In discussing the different reasons that franchises do well in Saudi Arabia, you have mentioned one of those reasons several times: the fact that a large segment of the population is young. This point is mentioned early on, and then comes in again in other paragraphs that are discussing other points. Some of your other points also seem to come up more than once. This repetition can make it hard for the reader to hold the different points you are making in mind.
To "tidy up" your essay, try listing the specific points you want to make in the two categories that your paper addresses: why some particular franchises are successful in Saudi Arabia, and what the risks are for someone establishing a franchise in that country. Then you can discuss each of these points in one part of the paper, rather than referring back to some of them repeatedly while you discuss others. The third question asked in your assignment, about what strikes you about these franchises, may not require a separate section; you can answer that as you discuss the other points. For instance, in the section about the age of the population, you can mention that many of the foreign businesses in Saudi Arabia are especially appealing to the young.
Grammar & Mechanics:
There are a number of sentences that leave out the definite article, "the." Here is one example:
"Be Harmony requires less capital to start and Franchisee gets free training from its international network."
In this sentence, you are referring to a specific person when you mention the Franchisee, but you are not using his name; therefore, you need the word "the" with the term.
Your References page contains a recurring grammatical/mechanical error; book titles, journal titles, and volume numbers should be italicized in APA citations. For example:
- Johnson, D. (2017). APA Citations. Journal of Citations, 1(4), 30-49.
- Lourdes, B. (2008). APA guide to Citations. New York, New York: Penguin Books.
- With these examples in mind, look at the following resources:
- Azoulay, R. (2015). Islamic State franchising. Clingendael, 1(2), 24-25.
- Cavusgil, S. T, Knight, G., & Riesenberger, J. (2016) International business: The new realities (4th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson. ISBN: 9780134324838.
How would you modify the volume number of the first entry and the book title of the second entry? Doing so will improve the mechanics as needed. Where else can you modify the grammar accordingly?
Summary of Next Steps:
- Discuss the specific risks that business owners might face in Saudi Arabia.
- Tighten the organization by discussing each point once in its own paragraph or section.
- Be sure to use the article "the" where it is needed.
- Improve your conclusion by placing new information in body paragraphs
- Place body paragraphs under appropriate headers
- Italicize book titles and volume numbers
International Investment, Collaboration, and Contractual Strategies
Shopping and eating out of fast foods are the significant entertainments that people in Saudi Arabia involve themselves which makes the country a fertile ground for setting up restaurants and retail stores. Due to the fact people have high disposable income, they can afford to shop and eat regularly at stores and restaurants respectively. Traveling and the rising popularity of social media has exposed the Saudi community to the Western way of life. Saudi Arabia is expected to have total population total of 32 million people by 2017, yet it is only a fifth of the size of the United States of America. The Saudi economy is growing at a rate of 1.46 percent every year ("Saudi Arabia - Franchising," 2018). It is worth noting that Saudi Arabia is the leading retail market in the Arabian Gulf with 83 percent of people living in the urban centers where a majority of franchise outlets have been established ("Saudi Arabia - Franchising," 2018). In the past ten years, the Franchise market in the country has experienced significant growth to the extent that many successful Americans, as well as European franchise, are opening more retail outlets. Majority of the brands are already deeply rooted in the Saudi market, for example, McDonald's, Swiss Choco and Smoothie Factory. 90 percent of the franchise developers are focused on coming up with ideas in the restaurant, food, and beverage in addition to the retail sector (Aleidan, 2017). It is worth concluding that franchising is believed to be the best business model for small and medium-sized enterprises in the country.
In the recent past, Saudi Arabia has emerged as an investment destination for the United States. Saudi Arabia boasts of the fastest growing economy in the Middle East as well as a youthful population with the taste of western trends and culture (Taylor & Albasri, 2014). The youthful population is particularly useful as the fastest growing economy provides a readily available market for the US franchises at a lower risk and cost. The ramification for this is the growth of the economy of the United States as the revenues got from these franchises are repatriated to the US to steer development. Although there is a significant number of successful foreign franchises in Saudi Arabia owing to the attractive business environment, like any business, there are a number risks associated with this type of venture.
Striking Observation About US Franchises in Saudi Arabia
One striking observation is that the franchise concepts are majorly focused on food, beverages, restaurant, apparel, health, technology and retail sectors. It is worth noting that business offering these types of products are more appealing to the young people in the country which make up the largest percentage of the population. These franchises have had their roots in the Saudi Arabian market and enjoying significant operation efficiency in the country's market. They include MacDonald's which is the leading player in the fast food industry with a share of about 30 percent while Herfy and Al Baik following with a market share of 12%, and 5.7% respectively. However, the brands market shares are expected to decrease with more franchises opening up in the country.
Another striking observation is that middle-level franchises are slowly dominating the Saudi Arabia market. For example, the Internet Success Coach which requires about 4000 sterling pounds to start. It is worth noting that it has a thriving turnkey concept which is ideal for somebody's internet marketing company. On top of that, it enables young entrepreneurs to come up with websites that are fruitful and support small firms that deal in internet marketing. Be Harmony is the next franchising network which is aimed at helping tobacco smokers to quit smoking, weight loss, and stress management. It is based on the traditional practice of acupuncture. Be Harmony requires less capital to start and Franchisee gets free training from its international network. It has approximately 19 offices, and it is continuing its expansion. Consequently, middle-level franchisees in the entertainment and technology industry have taken center stage in the country. Thus, they can be quickly established by the young Saudi Arabian population in partnership with foreign investors since most of them do not require very high capital to start.
Why Franchises are Successful in Saudi Arabia
Saudi Arabia has a favorable business environment for franchising. The nation had high per capita Gross Domestic product (GDP) of about $20,000 in the year 2016, and most people have high exposure to unique ideas and brands from the rest of the world (Saudi Arabia Country Risk Report, 2018). Therefore, many people can afford the products afford by foreign companies through the franchise program. Few people are aware that half of the total population of Saudi is composed of the young people who are below the age of 24 years old (Aleidan, 2017). The young people will be employed in the companies and most of them fancy American foods and beverages and other products making it possible for any company dealing in youth-oriented products to thrive in the country. The country receives more than 11 million tourists for religious reasons every year, and rampant internet penetration is the order of the day which is good news for people in the retail sector since the tourists are most likely to go for products from their countries of origin by searching and viewing them online. Majority of the Saudi Arabian population order food online and it gets delivered to their homes which has led to the rapid rise of local companies that are involved in prov...
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