If Animals Could Talk - Essay Sample

Introduction

I have a three-year-old cat named Cat. Cat is overly affectionate and is always around me to the point that he is very annoying. He follows me everywhere I am, wanting attention like cuddling and petting every time, although I am busy and want to do my own stuff. The weird fact is that it only does this to me, and he hates almost everyone I hang out with. At times, when you call him, he would completely ignore you and pretend he did not hear you call him. I read somewhere that a parasite in cats alters human behavior and results in finding your cat annoying. Maybe that's the reason I always find Cat so irritating. Since he cannot talk, Cat can say that he wants attention by constantly rubbing on me and meowing. I know I would go crazy if he could talk since he would constantly keep nagging me all the time.Despite annoying me, I know that he holds me in high regard.

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Snobby

Cat is snobby and stuck up even though I have lived with him since I was a child on the same side of town. He sometimes is so pretentious and over vocal, and it seems he would over annunciate his words and correct my grammar when I mispronounce words. He is already over-vocal as a cat, so you can imagine him with speech abilities. He makes a purr every time I shout at him for making the same mistakes over and over again, and I hate it. In addition to these traits, the animal is over pampered, which is all my fault. He’s the kind of spoiled that if you put food on the floor, he won’t eat it unless the food was on a plate. If he could talk, then with no doubt, he would give me unsolicited advice on the importance of hygiene and respect. The audacity! I honestly thought domestic pets were a source of pleasure and fun, but it turns out they aren't, after all.

Bad Decisions

If Cat could talk, he would probably rant all day and night about the bad decisions I have made over the years. This includes poor choices with my friends and the guys I have dated. Every time I brought up my new boyfriend, he would probably hit his face saying, "oh no, not again!". I also believe that he would tell me, "I told you so," every time someone broke my heart while reminding me of how many failed relationships I have been in while laughing his ribs off until he is out of breath. Although he hates me, he puts up with all my problems and issues because I do feed him, that’s his job, it’s the least he can do with all the attitude and nuisance he gives me every day. I do everything for him, but I feel like he does the bare minimum to make me, his owner, happy while it is supposed to be a fifty-fifty type of relationship. The animal is so egocentric, and what he does best is boss around and wait for me to fulfill his endless demands. It's like he forgets that he is the pet, and I am the master.

Conclusion

I love Cat, but I am not sure he feels the same way about me. If I were him and him me, then I would have probably died of starvation because of his negligence and ignorance all the time. So, if animals could talk, I don’t think Cat and I would stay together for that long. It seems as if Cat hates me most of the time and would probably leave if he had thumbs to feed himself, but he loves me for that. Other times, I feel like he is tolerating me because he needs me to survive. Our relationship is more of a one-sided. He is the one gaining a lot from me. One would not be wrong for calling this a toxic relationship. If today I were to stop feeding him, cleaning him, or collecting his poop, he would undoubtedly pack his 'bags' and leave. Despite our differences, we have managed to live together for so long and tolerate each other.