Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child Book Report

Paper Type:  Book review
Pages:  7
Wordcount:  1711 Words
Date:  2022-05-09

This report is based on the book "Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child." Erika Chopich and Margaret Paul are the authors of the TEXT. The book is published by HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

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Introduction of the Authors

The authors of the book Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child include Erika Chopich and Margaret Paul. The former holds a doctorate in psychology and is a best-selling author, as well as an ordained priest. Apart from that, Chopich has made a lot of effort in finding solutions to the problem of street families. Margaret Paul has also worked on some best-seller books like Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding among others. She is also a relationship expert and Inner Bonding facilitator.


This book is very well thought out and well written. The two authors show how individuals can bond with their inner child to avoid self-destruction, resolve one's worst fears and conflicts, as well as build satisfying relationships. The inner child is an essential part of our subconscious inner self, and each person possesses his or hers. The inner child is responsible for controlling our distinct intrinsic individualities like instinctive cleverness, joyfulness, self-expression and one's general perception of life. According to the book, some of the fundamental dynamics of internal human psyche include our emotional experiences and the memories stored in our brain since the first memory. Additionally, the book highlights on a self-healing procedure that can be employed to bridge the gap between the loved Adult and the loved inner Child.

The primary goal of Margaret and Chopich in this text is to outline the existing dissimilarities between one's inner child and adult mind. By reading this book, the reader can understand what part of their persona is the inner child whether loved or unloved. Therefore, I commend this book for those who are still in confusion regarding their emotions as well as persons struggling with the problem of exhibiting the split personality trait. Hence, to live happy lives, it is essential to discover and understand one's hidden temperaments. Moreover, the authors assert that by connecting with your inner child, one can short-out self-destructive patterns in their lives. Similarly, the book explains how this disintegration causes internal tensions that weaken an individual's capability to gain happiness and cause aloneness and desperation, as well as addiction and co-dependency.

The Body of the Review

The Wounded Child

Chopich and Margaret assert that there are some incidents that a person encounters in the course of growing up that causes a long-lasting fear through adulthood life. Other drivers for this element of fear include refusal, desertion, and letdown as human beings. For example, an adult who grew up under strict parenting will find it difficult to do things that might upset his/her parents, even if the action will please him or her. Personally, I have always found it difficult to accept, forgive or be honest with myself. The section "unloved child" has helped me to reconnect deeply with my inner child and to love myself regardless of what others think about me. That said, the two authors argue that by loving ourselves and who we are, we permit ourselves to heal and move on with our lives. The primary argument concerning this statement is that we should relieve ourselves the emotional burdens we carry because we misinterpret our problems.

Coping Mechanisms

A child who has experienced fear of refusal and desertion for the first time has no intuitive ability to come to terms with the occurrence. Psychologically, the child's mind cannot cope with the resulting consequences of the action such as stress and emotional breakdown. These are insentient behaviors that we develop in response to the result. However, when they reoccur over time, these consequences generate infatuations. These obsessions may vary from dependencies on pornography, drugs, and sex among others. Margaret postulates that fate may at times cause the reemergence of these forces. Consequently, others indulge in behaviors like masturbation, promiscuity, and pornography to escape their fears and sometimes anger. In that, whereas we display anger to show our pain of shifting paradigms, fear weakens the effort necessary to embrace positivity. What lies between fear and anger is more dangerous. That is the state of uncertainty and being unconfident with ourselves, and our daily undertakings.


Margaret asserts that the consequence of alienating ourselves from the inner child is that we lose our sense of self-expression. As stated earlier, one tends to be unsure of who you are and instead focus on other's opinion regarding your life. Even though we may attain the success or distinction as adults, our inner child will remain in confusion. In some cases, this state of dismay may affect our occupation preferences. For example, I struggled with my choice of being a lawyer when I did not incline that profession. I came to understand that it was not a choice but I was giving in to the external situations without having the idea of what I wanted. This attitude caused me to lose connection with my inner child. Today, am taking a course which best expresses my inner self.

Healing the Inner Child

The book outlines some of the fundamental practices vital for reconnecting with one's inner self. One remedy is to accept pain and take responsibility for your feelings. Through this, we are capable of relieving ourselves the painful feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, aloneness, and jealousy among others. Therefore, in such situations, it is necessary to take responsibility for how you view and treat yourself since this are the causes of these feelings. Another way of healing our inner child is by engaging in a dialogue with our wounded self. Margaret and Chopich state that it is our ego wounded self that generates these unconscious feelings. Hence, we should always strive to release anger and pain in the most fitting ways possible. Exploring these unconscious thoughts and false belief is another way of healing your wounded self. Lastly, it is essential to assess the actions that led to these consequences. Reevaluate yourself to determine whether your wounded inner child is healing. If not, seek therapeutic counseling or review the steps necessary to bond with oneself.

Account of the Experience of an Alternative Healing Method

Since the assignment requires that we give accounts of complementary healing practice, I chose to research on the practice of Shamanism in the Philippines. Until recently, I have never appreciated the Shamanistic tradition. However, after conducting comprehensive research on Shamanism, I am starting to view the practice in a different perspective. Some of the evidence I collected in the course of the study convince me that this healing technique may as well be practical. Shamanism entails that some sociological forces are responsible for human healing. Shamanism is a respected profession in the Philippines, and the Babaylans (Filipino Shamanic healers) are serious about their duties.


This study originated from the need to explain the practicality other alternative healing practices. In my case, I will focus on Shamanism in the Philippines. This study describes my experience with a Shamanistic traditional healer. This research employs interviewing and observation as the primary methods of data collection. I participated in the healing process as the patient. The healer, Dorothy, is an accredited shamanistic healer in the United States. She primarily practices the Philippine Shamanism.

The Experience

April 10, 2018 (9: a.m. - 12:30 p.m.); April 13, 2018 (2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.pm.)

According to Dorothy, the Shaman's healing potential relies on the diagnosis of the illness by establishing an offending cause. The concept encompasses the exoneration of some dark spirit or restoration of a lost soul during a period of unconsciousness. She further states that being a Shaman or Babaylan is like a call and not anybody can be a religious healer. Shamans are different from the normal people. These individuals possess some peculiar traits like experiencing reoccurring premonitions or exhibiting unusual personality traits. Consequently, a Babaylan is often called upon to deal with a disease deemed as an internal or mental problem, usually associated with supernatural powers.

That said, the Shaman must first identify the cause of the disease before proceeding to the next step. For instance, assuming the causative agent is of supernatural form, the healer may conclude that the patient's soul has deserted him or her and gone amiss into the underworld. The Shaman can as well presume that an evil spirit has intruded and taken control of the patient's soul. Other diagnostic options include breaking a taboo, followed by punishment from the gods, or the establishment of disease through magical works of a sorcerer. Because of the various choices, the traditional healer determines the cause of the disease through divination. Dorothy primarily employs astrology to conduct the diagnosis of the disease.

The next step after diagnosis is to determine the form which the spirit will take once it is exonerated from the body. Dorothy explains that in the case of a lost soul, the Shaman is required to search and find it, after which it is returned to the body of the owner. In the case of bodily intrusion by an evil spirit, the option is to exorcise the dark force through verbal ejection or physical extraction of an imaginary harmful substance or object from the body. However, if one is guilty of breaking a taboo, he or she must confess the sin for which he/she was punished with the illness. In my case, I requested Dorothy to free my soul from the repercussions of breaching a certain taboo not long ago. During the process, I observed Dorothy imitating the actions and voices of certain powerful animals like the lion and the cobra snake. The reason for this is to enable her to take possession of their spirits, hence inheriting some of their exceptional qualities.

That said, I would recommend Shamanistic healing to some extent, though not entirely. Its effectiveness is based on the practice's ability to arouse hope and impart spiritual encouragement to the patients. In that sense, the Shaman's personality traits, his position in the society as well as the eye-catching rituals, impress the sick who expect to be healed. We can compare these expectations with those provoked by modern medical experts.

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Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child Book Report. (2022, May 09). Retrieved from https://proessays.net/essays/healing-your-aloneness-finding-love-and-wholeness-through-your-inner-child-book-report

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