Essay on Social Media Loneliness

Introduction

I have always been intrigued by technology, specifically pervasive technologies that provide ubiquitous solutions to the challenges of communication and information gathering and dissemination. None so intriguing are such technologies than social media. Growing up in the millennials - generation z category, I have come to appreciate the value of smartphones to the extent that my peers and I believe that smartphones are part and parcel of being. In simple terms, you cannot do without one in the modern age. More so, social media plays a huge part in the demand for smartphones since the youth have a yearning to stay updated on all developments about their friends on social media. Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, 2Go, Tinder, Instagram, and Snapchat are but a few of the social media platforms that have youth glued to the screens of their mobile devices. I find the phenomenon of social media addiction an interesting topic for observation especially since it directly impacts the lives people my age rather youth below the age of 30. My particular interest in observing this group stems from the curiosity of the fulfillment that social media offers to the youth versus the implications of the same. My observation consisted of a group of Facebook friends consisting of 15 students who have a group page on Facebook dubbed 'Friends 4 Life -2004.'

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As the group name suggests, it is a Facebook social media page dedicated to friends born in the year 2004. My intention was to observe how the 15 members utilized the social media platform, specifically their page, and the implications that the same had on the members emotionally. My core question in the observation was to find out the gratification that social media gives to the members. As such, I wanted to find out why using Facebook is a preferable option among the members other than other options, for instance, meeting up face-to-face after class or during the weekends to have fun and socialize. As I observed the Facebook page activity for a week, I noted how closely knit the members were on the platform as they constantly engaged in a discussion on upcoming events as well as displaying activities that members were engaged in. In one instance, a female member posted a video of herself on a roller-coaster with the hashtag thrills and received all 15 likes from the Facebook page members. In another instance, a female member posted a photo of herself in front of a mirror putting on make-up with the '#ready to party' but only received seven likes from male members in the group.

I immediately noted how likes on a status, photo or video placed on the page by members motivated members in posting more stuff. Put another way, the more likes one got the more posts they made to match the number of previous likes on their last update. The dopamine effect that social media offers to users is, in my opinion, equivalent if not far worse than that which arises from illicit drug addiction. I noted from my observation that social media likes only make one hunger for more likes. The members received gratification from the number of likes they received on their profile or post the more the better. Approval or gratification is measured by the standard of popularity rather than anything to do with the individual's personality or attributes. Visual approval is what it all boiled down to as group members kept competing against one another by posting pictures and videos of them suggesting that they were engaged in some fun activity. In one instance, a member posted a photo of himself skating with the '#thrills' and received 10 likes out of fifteen, while on a subsequent post, the same member posted a picture of himself at a restaurant dining with the '#supper time' and received only 3 likes. By observing this social media use behavior, I wondered how the members of the group felt about the likes on their posts and what exactly motivated them to make posts on the social media page.

My observation led me to investigate the phenomenon where I had conversations with members of the group in an informal interview session. I intended to evaluate the gratification that members got from posting images, videos, and status updates on the Facebook page. What I found out what invigorating. First, the most popular posts received the most likes which were gratifying for the person receiving the likes. However, the members told me that they felt sad immediately afterward as the need to beat the number of likes with the next post establishes a form of peer pressure. In that regard, members who received more likes felt the most pressure to break their previous record of likes with their next post. Ultimately, a never-ending desire for greater accomplishment develops as it is not enough that you have all the likes one time, it is necessary to have all the likes all the time. I was intrigued to learn that members faked events, moods, outfits, and activities they engaged in from time to time if only to portray an image that would attract more likes on the social media page. In reality, however, the members did not reflect their posts emotionally at the time they made them.

My hypothesis at the commencement of the observation process was that social media was increasingly making youth lonely. To my expectation, the information that I was gathering from the group members served to vilify my prejudice about social media and its implications on the emotional well-being of its users. My investigation also led to the revelation that the group members of the Facebook group were always glued to their smartphones because they were always connected to one another through the social media platform. In that regard, there was no point of the day or night when members could take a break from the social media platform. As one of the members put it 'someone is always posting something and you do not want to be the one who missed out on it.' Therefore, the members were constantly checking their phones to see who is the latest to update her status and to evaluate whether they are receiving more likes that their own posts. For that reason, a constant state of competition where members out-do one another with their updates on the social media page made it difficult to disconnect.

At this juncture, my wonder was then how such social media use impacts their individual feelings about themselves. Again, my findings substantiate my assumptions on the premise that the more social media one was exposed to the more likely they were predisposed to being lonely. Nearly all the members of the social page told me that 9 out of 10 posts they make are fake that they may not appear as happy in real life as they do on the photos that they post. But, they feel better about themselves for a short period of time when they receive the most likes on their posts. Of course, that is until the next post that comes along and surpasses their post with the number of likes. Then they fall back into sadness and look for the next fake post idea that would lift up their spirits.

Personally, I deem it to be quite a sad affair that individuals cannot find happiness in the realities of their lives and choose to stage a fake lifestyle or emotional state of social media platforms for self-gratification. Nonetheless, my observation brought me to the realization of how pervasive social media can be in influencing behavior and charting the course of emotional engagement among social media users. My interviewees reiterated that it is not easy for them to stay away from social media affirming my assumptions about the addictive nature of social media platforms. Moreover, the observation made me realize how it is increasingly becoming problematic for youth to develop real intimate friendships and relationships with one another. In the past when social media was unheard of, it was adequate for one to be liked by another or by two friends. Enter the age of social media and gratification comes when one is liked by 10 0000 friends among whom are strangers. Put another way, social media gratification places enormous pressure on youth to live fake lives on the social media platforms if only to receive momentary gratification that will last only a short span.

Essentially, my observations bring to the fore a significant reality that youth should wake up to before it is too late. Social media is making them lonely they are better off without it. The sooner the youth realize this the better as they can liberate themselves from the clutches of worthless, momentary, and fake gratifications that likes on Facebook and other social media platforms offer them. My observations prove that it is important to reduce social media use since its pervasive nature only serves to make one yearn for digital attention while leaving one emotionally empty in the physical.