Essay Example on Self-Monitoring Skills: Regulating Emotions for Better Relationships

Every person has feelings or emotions, although it is vital to control to avoid conflicts every moment. Self-monitoring skill is necessary when handling the disputes or differences either in the organization or school environment. It incorporates social and academic skills like cooperating, classifying, counting, and reading. Self-monitoring skill improves people behavior as they can regulate their emotions a scenario which boosts the relationship. For instance, a student who becomes self-monitor can focus on assignment or task, comply with teachers request, complete work in time, and make a friendly relationship with peers. Hence, I have selected self-monitoring skill as it enabled me to control my feelings in a situation which improved my interactivity.

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I chose to focus on self-monitoring skill as it has helped to regulate my emotions and feelings in whatever I am currently doing. It implies as a capacity to observe a person behavior or the process of attending one behavior by observation to shape how he/she behaves (Adler, Rosenfeld & Proctor, 2007). Regarding my opinion, self-monitoring enables one not to attack a person who has offended him or her but finds a means of expressing his or her feelings or emotions. It is essential to self-monitor in a particular social context to eliminate feelings of anger, depression, low self-esteem, and isolation.

The reason I chose to focus on self-monitoring is that, when I am sharing ideas with my boss in my workplace, I usually become angry for not supporting me in the meeting. I have realized that I like to get involved in decision making within the organization, and finally, I tend to be isolated from other working colleagues when they fail to endorse my ideas or views. Hence, self-regulation has not been helpful to me because I usually get offended, angry, depressed, and annoyed in the situation where I am supposed to regulate my emotions. When I began using self-monitoring, I have noticed that I am capable of controlling my emotions or feelings whenever my employer complains about me. I also realized that I am peaceful because I don't carry the burden within myself.

I am having a conflict with my employer whenever I don't meet the sales targets or complain in the meeting. The same as other workers, I think I need peace of mind where I can make my own decision. Whenever he calls me, I could respond by saying that I am focusing on what is essential to me. The conversation would end by saying, "no one can force me what to do for I am mature." He would then went in silence for almost two to three days. Yesterday, he called me to complain about my sales targets, and I decided to implement self-monitoring. I began observing his behavior, where I gave feedback such as "well" and "I understand. Accordingly, I become self-monitor because I was able to regulate my emotions and feelings and began working effectively with my boss. I started pretending whenever the boss quarrels me in the meeting, and this was a significant change from what usually has been happening.

Also, I have been leading the group discussion, and whenever one of my colleagues reprimand me, I would become offended. I would even end the group learning by saying that "I cannot proceed with learning anymore". Then we could not continue with the discussion for almost one week. The next moment when my colleague requested me to lead the team studying, I decided to become self-monitor where I could handle the criticism positively. In case one offends me, I could respond by saying "well". My colleague eventually noticed the change since I become leading the discussion appropriately. From that time, I have been spearheading the group learning effectively and this enhanced productive friendship with my classmates.

Besides, I am having differences with my brother due to unfaithfulness in his relationship. I think it is vital to make his own decision on love matters, although when he calls me, I would respond by saying that you are mature to have your verdict. Mostly, when he calls me to handle the conflicts between him and his girlfriend, I usually tell him that he is wrong and need to regulate his emotions. I would end the discussion by saying, "emotion regulation is crucial." Then he would go on silence for around two days. He also called me to handle another battle, and I decided to observe his behavior where I gave feedback such as "okay" and "well." Fortunately, I became self-monitor because I was able to control my feelings and I began pretending whenever I notice he has a side chick apart from his real girlfriend and this marked the beginning of our good relationship unlike before.

For the last few months, I have not been completing my class assignments in time. When the lecturer questions me, I would reply by saying that I will try to finish next moment a bit earlier. I would end the discussion by saying "I will improve next time "then my instructor could only shake the head. During the next assignment, I was the first one to complete where I scored even the higher grade. Eventually, my instructor called me to congratulate me for the good progress where I began responding "thank you". I had decided to implement self-monitoring skill where my performance began improving every moment.

Conclusion

Self-monitoring skill has been crucial in my life because it has changed my behavior in the workplace and the way I interact with colleagues. Before I become self-monitor, I used to give hurting reactions, especially when one offends me. Today I can honestly say when my boss criticizes me, I usually pretend and endorse his decision. Therefore, self-monitoring is necessary, and people should become self-monitors to be able to regulate their emotions or feelings to avoid conflict

Reference

Adler, R. B., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor, R. F. (2007). Interplay: The process of interpersonal communication. Oxford University Press, USA.