Essay Example on Romantic Intimacy: Dreams, Hopes, and Expectations

Many of us begin the first relationship with optimism like dreams and hopes for the future. A romantic relationship should be fulfilling, fun, and enjoyable, although it can be complicated and stressful. It usually involves intellectual, emotional as well as sexual connection with one another as every person has the proper expectation of a sexual relationship. Each person entering into a love may have desires which differ from parents or even acquaintances. However, if romantic intimacy is not maintained appropriately, it may eventually break.

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I begin my first relationship when I was in high school. My boyfriend was showing respect to me since he was treating me the way I liked where he listened to my concerns or opinions. He was taking everything I would say seriously and never intimidated or undermined me in any scenario. Based on communication, we could ensure there is smoothly passing of information either through phone calls, text messaging, or face to face to avoid distortion of messages. Our conversation based on ethics, such as etiquette, no interruption, or judgment as we could talk and come up with a constructive verdict. Although disagreement is a must in a relationship, we could resolve the problems by creating time for our discussion to identify the solution. Also, we trusted each other because everyone had the freedom to interact with family and friends since I could make him not to feel guilt perhaps for hanging out with girls or accuse him of cheating if he talks with another person. Despite our health relationship, things started changing where I noticed my boyfriend is not spending time with me but to family members and friends. He was forcing me to do things even the ones I could do alone, calling me by name to make me feel intimidated as well as denying my offers like tour, dinner and other essential activities we use to enjoy together.

During my final year in high school, the differences started where my boyfriend sometimes could no longer reply to my message or answer my calls. I opted to reprimand him for changing the behavior drastically because I noticed his interest towards my young cousin. For almost three weeks, he could not respond to my queries or opinions where I decided to visit him during the school holiday. He was a working-class, and the time we could get time for discussion was only weekends or evenings as I needed to solve the issues and proceed with our relationship. It was a dream to leave him since he was my first lover, where I decided to sacrifice myself because of love. I felt as if life could end without him, although I came to realize it is difficult to change people and no one can allow challenges or obstacles in life as they may hinder the achievement of goals.

My boyfriend welcomed me in the evening, and I was happy to meet me because I knew our relationship could blossom. I was eager to resolve all the problems and begin a new step. In our discussion, I took his phone to check the ladies he has been chatting and calling, and I came to realize he is dating my younger cousin. I felt devastated and embarrassed as if I could either destroy the phone or hang myself. The quarrel began where she threw the phone and started beating me thoroughly. Actually, from the time our differences began, he was abusing me although I could not dump him because I knew he was the only person I loved and trusted. Unfortunately, the beatings were severe this time around because I wept bitterly where the neighbors rescued me and drive to a nearby hospital. I was admitted for one week where things become difficult because I hard to nurture my wound at the same time revise for my final high school exams. My plans were curtailed, and I felt as if I made the wrong choice in my life loving while I am schooling. I started regretting why this person came into my life when I was young since he was the only one who taught me how to kiss or hug a man as there was intimacy.

My parents, friends, and relatives started blaming my decision because they wondered why I opted to love such a man. I had never reviewed how abusive he was in our relationship and the reason he changed abruptly. He pretended to good to my friends and family as they were endorsing and envying him because he was generous and loved interactions. Fortunately, I was discharged in the hospital, where I decided to begin my life fresh. I decided on dumping my first boyfriend a scenario which seemed to hurt although it was too late. In our young age, we had begun learning new things concerning the world around us, life, and most crucial about ourselves. We had no idea of how the relationship was all about until we opted to try it (love). I understand first love is pure and true although it can be deceitful since it the first a person is facing it. That the reason one can make the wrong choice when beginning the relationship. I though my first boyfriend was the best among other men I could ever date but seemed like the introduction of my relationships.

Surprisingly, my break up changed my life to good. First, regardless of the challenges of healing after breaking, I scored the best grade in the high school final exam. I received multiple gifts from teachers, school management, and parents. My academic performance hurt my ex until he started beseeching me for a second chance, but it was too late. My reply was, "you had all the opportunity, but you failed to grab." I became happy and contented because my education was hooking on the right path as I was preparing to achieve my education goal. Secondly, I become cautious with the one I would trust in my life. Today, I don't hesitate when I am saying "no" to people, although not in an extreme way to anyone who approaches me because they could be asking direction. "No" means that I am brave and careful to politely reject a person's sweet offer to become his true love because I feel it may result in tragic bitterness. I am not yet bummed to score zero in the relationship as I don't mind waiting for a nice person.

Also, the breakup made me trust myself more because I understand my weakness and strengths. So, I become cautious when sharing my weaknesses because one can overcome them. Building trust is very vital as no one will get an opportunity to hurt me even in another relationship. I can proudly say I am not surprised by disappointments if the circumstances undermine me as I still become prosperous. Frustration does not shock me in any way because I give an instant sad smile when one forgets to fulfill his promises as I remember people mess up and begin moving forward without complaints.

Besides, break up has taught me how to view loneliness differently. I have discovered spending time myself is enjoyable since my company has not bored me as I expected. I have learned much about myself, as no one influences me. Sitting and enjoying my essential activities have been productive as I focus on establishing myself rather than depending on the person. I have realized it hard to change people, so it vital to accept the situation and move on since I have noticed I can give my suggestions or opinions, but it is them who decides to reject or accept.

Additionally, breaking relationship has helped me to avoid taking things personally. I think there was not something wrong when my boyfriend decided to dump me. It means maybe I was too good, and he did not feel as if he deserved me. Whatever the excuse he had for leaving me, in the end, it became a legend because I believe it is not too late to find another better person. Also, the break up has made me creative and innovative. Initially, I could not start a small business because I did not know what to shame my boyfriend as he was a working class. Since I am independent and have freedom, I have realized the importance of making my cash while I am proceeding with academics. I consider making my cash is better than depending on somebody, not unless my parents. Therefore, my break up marked progress in my life, although it demoralized me before I accepted the change.

Lastly, the break up has taught me how to handle stress and pressures in all aspects of life. It was my first experience where I was almost depressed because of an abusive relationship. The beating resulted in hospital admission, where I had to balance the pain and high school final exam. Things were not good at all because life was almost ending. Out of distress, I renewed my life, and I began it fresh. The situation was almost to make me develop a mental disorder like depression, and I am grateful I handled it right. Today I can honestly say, nothing can shake or stress me whether the issue of financial constraints, family negligence, or conflicts. I have gained problem-solving skills where I can handle the differences according.

Conclusion

To sum up, beginning a romantic relationship can be an enjoyable moment ever. When people decide to love each other, they have a goal to achieve either in marriage, or business. A healthy relationship must have proper communication, trust, respect, and honest. However, it becomes hard to maintain love when the issue of unfaithfulness arises. Hence, people should respect their spouses and show them the love they deserve.