Contemporary Moral Issues: Consent and Respect in Romantic Relationships Essay

One of the most important aspects of peoples' lives is the establishment and maintenance of high-quality relationships. These types of relationships are not only achieved through relatedness need satisfaction but also the need for autonomy as well as the need for competence in the relationships which also contribute to positive outcomes in the relationships. The need satisfaction, well-being, and positive relationship outcomes are known as the three basic psychological needs and whenever people enter and commit to very close relationships autonomously their chances of experiencing high-quality relationships are very high than when they are in a more controlled motivation for the relationship. The partners in the relationship should act in a caring and responsive way to respect the self of the other. This is not evidenced in other relationships as one of the partners maybe aggressive or controlling than being supportive leading to one partner being treated as an object to be controlled or used (Leversen, Anne, Marianne, and Oddrun 1589). Some individuals treat others not for who they are but for what they possess which leads to partners feeling not naturally valued but valued for an instrumental reason. This situation lowers the sense of engagement, trust, and interest among the partners in a relationship (Weinstein 68). The moral obligations people have towards their romantic partners should be emphasized in relationships.

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Objectification can take different forms including instrumentalization, autonomy denial, inertness, violability, ownership and subjectivity denial as stated by Martha Nussbaum. She emphasizes on instrumentalizing human beings as the most problematic compared to the other forms of human beings objectification as it leads to denial of their humanity and can also lead to other types of objectification (Nussbaum 250). This instrumentalization can either be harmful or benign depending on its effect on the understanding of the individual. Nussbaum terms it as negative if the individual's humanity is not appropriately acknowledged or respected, that is the objectified individual's humanity is denied whenever the individual is treated as an object. She explained various cases in her article where individuals are objectified; the first case is of Isabelle, a lady who was treated as nothing than an instrument to satisfy Macre's sexual desire and later physically abused by him. The second case is of Playboy, where women use men as instruments for their pleasure. The third case is of Charlotte and the prince who are treated by their spouses as not human beings with humanity but mere instruments to satisfy their needs. Positive instrumentalization can occur when the objectified individual's humanity is respected, well acknowledged and even promoted whenever the individual is used as an object. Nussbaum sugested that cases of such kind of instrumentalization, for example, the case of Connie and Mellor, these two lovers deny each other's subjectivity and humanity when having sex. They put aside their individuality and become identified by their biological sexual orriantation. (Nussbaum 274). The two lovers also respect and promote their subjectivity and autonomy to each other and regard each other as more than instruments for their sexual desire.

The instrumental use can also be weak or strong depending on how the partners treat one another in their relationship. Strong instrumental use occurs when the partners treat each other such that they violate one another's autonomy. Weak instrumental use, on the other hand, occurs when the partners take into account the wishes and desires of each other and treat one another without caring about their ends (Marino 347). Marino finally concludes that even if the weak instrumental use is well understood as failing to take into consideration other peoples' desire and wishes or violating their autonomy, nothing about the mode of interaction between these individuals can make the instrumental use accepted morally because whatever the problems this instrumental use has no contexts of one-sidedness, it has in all cases. She further added that in case the demands of the partner cannot be met effectively or may lack the element of mutual benefit to the detriment of the other, objectification can be considered. In the process of using each other symmetry should be reflected in that relationship, where their mutual use of each other is linked. Hence, strong instrumental use is a bad conduct as it requires one to trick the other do things their way so that they meet their desires. This situation is compared to denial of autonomy, as the other party has to make decisions based on the convincing lies or tricks by the other party (349). In the weak instrumental use, one person uses the other without considering their idea or giving consent for instance, when using another person as a pillow or constructing park without consulting the ideas of the locals. Hence, the other personal preference in this contexts despite being stakeholders in that situation has been neglected. However, if autonomy of the other party is not violated in the lack of consent situation, the outcome is less harmful. However, the society is organized in a manner that some individual must allow themselves to be used or they shall be objectified because they are considered to be lower at a lower social ladder. Such people deserve to be used as they are considered non-autonomous for their status in the society as sex objects and used always despite the absence of the sexual use which is morally acceptable.

Respect in a relationship can be used to refer to regard, admiration and appreciation of somebody's worthiness to another. It is therefore taken to be one of the most significant bases of relationship and in particular close relationships. Sexual interactions in relationships can be viewed in both contractual and communicative model, in the contractual model, consensual sex is solely aimed at mutual enjoyment although in some cases it may fail and if it happens, it may not fully succeed. According to Pineau, there is an assumption that sex and sexual enjoyed are connected such that if a man wants an assurance from a woman that he is not forcing himself to her has to ensure that the mutual encounter is really enjoyable. If not the lady has to give reasons to the man of continuing with the encounter in lack of her enjoyment. In such situations, there is a need to take the needs of others as our own. If each person enters into an honest sexual encounter to seek sexual satisfaction, each person, therefore, has a duty of helping the other seek his or her needs. Failure to this is a risk in opposing what the other person desires leading to risk in acting without other person's consent. To promote the sexual ends of one partner in a relationship, the other partner has first to know what the needs are and how to attain them. To solve this, communicative sexuality can be put into use. This model involves a combination of the proper knowledge of the other with their desires. Partners engaged in communicative sexuality are more concerned with desires of each other and sensitive to their partner's responses. They will always be sympathetic and charitable. These qualities help them share their feelings and care for each other. Respecting each other's desire brings confidence to the partners that they have not misused their position of trust and knowledge to each other. The pineau's ideas on both contractual and communicative models match with the ideas of Marino on weak instrumentation as there is no violation of the individual's autonomy and failure to consider other partner's wishes and desires but differ in strong instrumentation due to the violation of autonomy of the individuals.

Consensual sex can either be wanted or not. Partners can consent to sex because they desire the sex actively. Sometimes this may not be the case as the partners can consent to unwanted sex as clearly depicted by robin west were married women consented to unwanted sex with their husbands for various reasons such as fear of the husband's violence and also a religious obligation. Unmarried women can also consent to unwanted sex for reasons such as financial security for them and their children, lessening the risk of future physical attacks among others. According to Robin West, people even consent to things they don't want for positive reasons, for instance, men and women can consent to unwanted sex due to the love between the two partners or mainly because even the lack of desire may end up giving its way to desire (West 7). These occurrences confirm the idea by West of being unwilling and not wanting to do something. Hence, the author states that understanding and being able to make a clear distinction between these concepts is critical to enable people to make an informed decision in various situations. Her idea contradicts with the notion promoted by Marino, who believes that people should consent to do things even those which they are obligated without being forced or being compelled by the circumstances. She stated that partners should be allowed to make autonomous decisions in all contexts. She talks about weak instrumental where partners should put their significant other first and not push them to a compromising situation that will make them appear as sexual objects. Similarly, according to pineau sex and sexual enjoyment are two distinct elements and should not be confused. When a partner needs sex, the significant other should be willing to confirm willingness to involve in the act to allow the experience become pleasurable for the other (Cowling 12). Moreover, when the other party is not willing to take part in the act informing the other is an important step. Hence, partners should seek each other's consent before taking part in intimate activities which requires their psychological and physical contributions. However, according to West, the occasional unwanted consensual sex instances are not harmful, but when it becomes the norm, a problem is bound to occur. This statement reveals that consistent forcing of self to take part in unwanted sexual activity or unwilling situations can lead to unwanted psychological burdens such as trauma which may hinder the enjoyment even in the wiling cases. Hence people should ensure they engage in organized experiences to enhance the outcome in terms of fulfilment.

When in either casual or committed relationships, people owe their partner either weak or strong respect. It also reflects moral obligation that partners have to their significant other which they ought to fulfill. Marino provides a clear notion of how the two above should be treated that mutual interests and benefits should be reflected. Hence, it is important to treat the casual and committed partners with weak and strong respect (Marino 23). The reason for this situation is both partners have to treat each other with equal value; thus when a person decided to make you a casual encounter, they should be treated similarly. Casual things do not matter as the committed ones hence, due respect should be placed at each according to the degree of investment into a relationship. Thus treating a committed partner with weak respect even on an occasional basis as suggested by West is wrong. Respect is an element of a serious relationship; hence, it is the obligation of partners to acknowledge the efforts of their committed partners and show their moral by acting strongly with a respectful attitude. This means that casual encounters have limited value and should be shown meek reverence. Respect could be shown by ensuring the experiences are mutual or putting the other first and not acting out of selfishness. Seeking consent from the opposite partner is an aspect of respect and s...