Marriage is an institution that is expected to provide a long-term relationship and friendship of the couples as per the social requirements. Doing so will enable the bringing up and nurturing of children appropriately, amidst a host of other responsibilities required from both sides of the couples. However, this is only possible if the married elements are compatible enough to withstand the challenges that come on their way. Otherwise, their marriages might not last, resulting in divorce. It is a menace that threatens families, affecting the social benefits that come with its stability. There have been an increasing case of divorce and family breakups in the world, America in particular. It has been experiencing an increasing rate of divorce among the couples at an alarming rate of about 50% statistically, showing that many families are experiencing instability. It is thus an essential social concern that needs to be addressed through the establishment of its causal factors as well as their respective solutions, to restore the family value to prosperity it requires.
One of the factors that bring about divorce among the American couples unfaithfulness. It results when one or both of the couples exercise adultery and extramarital affairs. It can occur In a workplace where one's wife is seduced and gets into a conjugal relationship with her boss or a colleague. A husband can, too, get into an affair with a colleague or any other woman outside the wedlock. (Brentano, Cornelia, 4). The results are that when one of them get wind of the matter concerning the infidelity of the other spouse, they might choose to divorce. They get informed either by observation of the phone messages they use in communicating with the partner in an extramarital affair exercise, by being told by a faithful friend or by getting them red-handed committing the vice. Hence, unfaithfulness will have led to divorce.
The money problem is another cause of divorce in American families. In the case where the husband is not able to provide for the needs of their families, their wives might get distressed and decide to divorce their men and look for other greener pastures elsewhere. Also, one of the couples might be financially stable while the other might be disadvantaged. In most cases, a woman with money more than her husband's tends to look down on them since naturally, husbands are the leaders and providers of their families. A woman will thus see no need of still engaging with such an unproductive husband. They might, as a result, decide to live him for the one who exceeds her financially. (Mungal, Harrison, 6). Divorce will then have been born in that line. On the other hand, the husband - though still love by his wife irrespective of bankruptcy - can feel futile, trivialized and hated due to the lost ego as only the woman possesses that financial strength unlike him. He might then lose that manhood tendency more ignited by the possibilities of their fellow friends jittering and criticizing them for their inability to cater for their households like the way they do. This ill comparison demeans them, angering them. The accumulated anger builds up stresses which someday explode in their decision to divorce and opt for peaceful, lonely lives, resulting in divorce.
Intervention by the extended family members and friends on the issues of other people's families brings about divorce, too. One of the couples can be told lies by their fellow friends or family members concerning their other couples. Such issues can rise as a result of jealousy on the extent of peace, love, harmony, and stability of the families at hand, with the intention of liars being to ensure that prosperity in such families does not prevail. Also, a couple can be given sinister perspectives of their counterpart merely to discourage their affair while some are going an extra mile of advising the couple to live their counterpart. Such sick and useless comments about their couples only affect them when they are not keen on how to weigh their validity and motives. In the case where a husband or a wife is not in a position to critically analyze and discern such comments to know the truth, they will get carried away by them and take a step of divorcing their counterpart.
Incompatibility of the married couples can, besides, result in divorce. The element of incompatibility in marriage arises where the couple's age difference is high, or they were forced to marry. Age difference takes effect where one of the couples is far much older than his/her counterpart. One of the couples can get obsessed with doing things that are considered by their counterpart as puerile. They can include such things as a love of picnics and traveling spree by the younger couple. On the other side, one of them can be old enough, preferring activities and ways of things that the counterpart considers as belonging to older people and not falling within their age bracket. An example can get seen, as the couple takes a walk, in the walking at a slow pace by an older partner, inconveniencing the younger couple's brisk pace requirement. In the long run, they will not be compatible. Again, the couple might have been forced to marry each other, resulting in difficulty in relating since they might not be loving one another. Different beliefs religions, too, brings about incompatibility in the married couple since they have a contrasting view of things. Incompatibility, thus, results and one of the couple might decide to bolt out of the wedlock, leading to divorce.
Hopefully, some factors that can be applied to keep divorce at bay are available, one of them being marrying a spouse one likes. In this way, incompatibility issues will get brought under control. By a person choosing a spouse of their interest, forced marriages of spouses one dislikes will be rooted out. For instance, a person will choose a spouse whose religion bodes well with theirs. In this way, their view and religious beliefs will never conflict at any point. The will be practicing the same religious activities hence enhancing compatibility and oneness. (Lamanna, Mary A, Agnes C, 5). Also, they will have room to choose the age difference spouses as they like, which in most cases will be close regarding age. Doing this goes a long way in ensuring that they will be doing things as per their ages and at no point will one's activities be considered unfit for the age at that moment. Marrying a spouse of one's choice means that they love one another. In case of any minor differences, they will be able to settle them amicably as lovers, hence no divorce instances.
Another way of avoiding divorce among a married couple is by ensuring that they maintain their fidelity in marriage. They are supposed to love one another sincerely and try their level best to avoid temptations to give in to sexual desires outside their wedlock. In this way, they will be able to win the trust of their fellow spouses who will also strive to maintain their relationship in marriage stronger. Also, it will encourage spouses to be fully committed to their responsibilities since they feel appreciated by their spouses maintaining faithfulness. In this way, their zeal to continue clumping together for the rest of their lives will keep on burning, hence rooting away any temptations of divorcing. (Keeble, Arin, and Ivan Stacy, 5).
Being careful on the types of information a spouse receives concerning their counterpart plays a role in maintaining marriages. It matures in the sense that when one of the spouses receives negative and unbecoming information concerning their life partners, he/she should first digest them by determining the motives of the message sender and the validity of such statements. Wisdom is of great importance here. It is because the communicator might be sinisterly motivated and hi/her sole aim is to ensure that people's families are broken - by concocting lies and unsubstantiated stories about spouses. (Finkel, Eli J, 5). Then they will be able to use the found evidence in their judgment. In case the information is real, they should seek better alternatives to solve them, such as through talking about them amicably with their spouse and if complexities arise, seeing counselor advice and direction is better as opposed to divorce. Money - related divorce can get avoided when couples humanly understand that love surpasses monetary abilities, hence the need to understand that lack of money should not make them divorce.
Cumulatively, the causes of divorce in American families are such factors as financial discrepancies, heed to ill-motivated stories from friends, unfaithfulness, and incompatibility between the spouses. Hopefully, they can get solved through avoidance of ill-motivated lies from friends, control of financial discrepancies between the couples, marriage between couples of the same religious beliefs as well as being faithful to one's marital partner. They should be applied to safeguard the American marriages from unnecessary divorces and breakups.
Works Cited
Brentano, Cornelia. Divorce: Causes and Consequences. , 2008. Internet resource.
Finkel, Eli J. The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. , 2017. Internet resource.
Keeble, Arin, and Ivan Stacy. The Wire and America's Dark Corners: Critical Essays. , 2015. Internet resource.
Lamanna, Mary A, Agnes C. Reidmann, and Ann Strahm. Marriages: Making Choices in a Diverse Society. Belmont, Calif: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning, 2012. Print.
Mungal, Harrison. Cold Showers Are Cheaper Than a Divorce. , 2015. Print
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