Life is an ocean of choices and alternatives. We chose whether to love or hate, work or idle around, eat or starve. Well, you know where am going with this. Every action, every misdeed, every decision is faced with an equally compelling but opposite choice. Some people choose to care about everything, others prefer to only care about what is worth caring for, and some decide to be carefree. It all lies in the choice a person makes. In the article, 'the subtle art of not giving a fuck', Mark Manson shades some new light on the often mistaken attitude of not giving a fuck about some things or some people. This attitude presents a robust, independent and selfish character but the line separating the carefree attitude from being inhuman is the purpose, time and convenience of choice.
The first justification to 'not giving a fuck' is that it does not mean indifference; it means being comfortable with being different (p. 2). The 'I don't care' way of life does not present a person who is indifferent but rather someone who will go for what they feel is the right thing to do despite its appropriateness or repercussion. It is an attitude that overlooks all personal feelings and focuses on how convenient whatever they are about to do will be to them, as long as it is the right thing to do. I don't have to feel inhuman or rather an outcast for dying my hair blue just because all my classmates are blondes. I do not give a damn if someone can spot me miles away, or the cool and uncool kids alike are avoiding these blue headed freak. If I am pleased with my look, and am not violating any person's rights, then being different should not incriminate me. In many instances, we forego our wellbeing to ensure others are as comfortable as they ought to be. This is the charitable mother Teresa heart that has demeaned our well-being at the pleasure of others. It is time we say 'I don't give a fuck' for once and give ourselves a treat of the decades.
"To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity" (p.3). The main reason why many young people get concerned with the small issues in life like losing extra weight to please some teenage boy with braces or having the coolest car at the schools parking lot to piss off an arch enemy voted in as the homecoming queen is that they don't have anything more important than that. They give a fuck about the small insignificant things in life as they don't have any bigger to direct their attention to. Adversity has sucked the fun and happiness off many teens' lives leaving them like puppets to dissatisfaction, perfectionism and low self-esteem. If my most important goal is to buy another pair of sneakers, I shouldn't mind your goal of buying yet another limo, and your limozene dream shouldn't make mine any less important. I shouldn't care if you have a second condor and am still living in the suburbs provided I feel at home in my habitat. This art of identifying the right and most important thing to give a fuck about will make the world less judgmental and feel every face with genuine smiles. The heart's satisfaction holds the same magnitude whether it is caused by a few dimes or a million dollars.
The diversity of choices avail a vast field to choose from, but there are only two possible outcomes; the right or the wrong choice. In life "we have a limited number of fucks to give; pay attention to where and who you give them to" (p 4). Our teen ages are filled with enthusiasm, immaturity, naivety and a lot of energy that we often direct to the wrong people. With time, the friends we used to care about, mind what they said or thought about us, are gone, and we realize we were only doing it for all the wrong reasons with the wrong group of people. The fame, friendships and relationships die, and we come to a realization that the fucks go alongside with the people we were around with. The energy isn't growing any stronger but decelerating, and we can't spend any of it giving adman about how we look or talk as we are now in terms with our flawed personalities and identities. We should attempt to care about the people we are sure will be around us when we are unattractive, nagging and socially lifeless. The best place to direct our fucks is back home, to our families. The people we are sure will give a damn about us anyway.
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