Introduction
It is not all about a set of rules that one is supposed to follow as a parent to have a well-adjusted and happy young person. Parenting is about kindness, love, and caring. Parents tend to behave in different ways. Parents tend to behave according to the different information they have acquired and what they have learned about the nature of appropriate parenting. Parenting information could be accessed from websites, books, magazines, formal and informal advice. A parent's attitude and beliefs that are activated during parenting tend to have a great impact on the development of a child. Parenting attitudes and beliefs can affect a child positively or negatively.
This topic is of interest because parenting cognitions, attitudes, resulting emotions such as happiness or anger tend to guide the parenting behavior which tends to affect the socio-emotional and cognitive development of a child. This research paper aims at finding out the various parenting styles and the effect of the different parenting styles on the child. This topic is important because parenting style is one of the issues that is mostly attributed while parents are dealing with care for their children. Parents need to be aware and knowledgeable about good parenting so that their children can grow in a manner that is productive.
Types of Parenting Styles
The main parenting styles are uninvolved, permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative. In authoritarian parenting, parents are often perceived as being disciplinarians. Parents tend to use a discipline style that is strict with little time for negotiation. One of the disciplinary actions that are subjected to the child is punishment. Good behavior is enforced on the child through shaming and threats. The mode of communication in authoritarian parenting in most cases is usually one way that is from the parent to the child. The parent does not explain the rules he/she give to the child. The authoritarian parents believe that they are the authorities and that the children should follow what they say without questioning. They control the way the child talks, how they act in public or at home, the activities the child engages in as well as what the child wears (Bornstein, & Bornstein,2007).
In the authoritative style of parenting, the parent is less flexible and has high expectations for the child. In this style of parenting, the parents tend to criticize the behavior of the child or a lackadaisical attitude. The parent tends to point out the negative behaviors and attitudes that the child engages in. This type of parenting tends to encourage communication between the parent and the child. Authoritative parents are usually involved in the growth and progress of the child. They assess the weakness and strengths of the child. This parenting style calls for having faith in the child, and hence the parents leave for the child to make minor decisions by themselves and be independent they should be given reasonable freedom. Parents who use the authoritative style of parenting express their love to their children which acts as a reassurance to them. Loving the children unconditionally limits them from walking down a wrong path as they are aware that their actions will not be approved (Bornstein, & Bornstein, 2007).
The permissive parenting style is one that the parents tend to mostly allow the children to do what they want and provide them with limited direction or guidance. Low demands but very high responsiveness characterize this parenting style. Parents who are permissive tend to give few rules to their children, yet they are very loving. They are more like a friend to the child rather than a parent.
In the uninvolved parenting style, the parents give the children a lot of freedom and mostly stay out of their way. The permissive style of parenting is also referred to as parenting that is neglectful. In this style of parenting, there is no particular discipline style that is used. The parents are not responsive to the needs of the child. Parents who are uninvolved tend to be overwhelmed by their problems to the extent that they do not have time to deal with their children (Carlo, McGinley, Hayes, Batenhorst, & Wilkinson, 2007).
Key Findings
The key findings are that children who are raised by authoritative parents tend to be good learners, are creative since their parents encourage them to develop their skills, they become mature early enough in life, and they are open-minded as well, and hence they can comfortably fit in different environments. The benefits of raising children using the authoritative parenting style are that a balance between discipline and love is maintained. The parents tend to be careful in the way they discipline the child in that they ensure that they do not indulge their children so much that they become spoilt. The children also become motivated to perform. The parents motivate the children to work hard and have better results by being supportive. The authoritative style of parenting is important to the development of the child because the parent usually disciplines the child positively in a way that the child is not emotionally battered. The effect of the authoritative style of parenting is that the family may depend heavily on rules and hence the child may lack knowledge of what he/she is supposed to do if there are no rules that have been set for a given situation. This parenting style may cause the child to have low self-esteem, especially in a situation where the parent becomes so demanding (Kusterer,2010).
The authoritarian style of parenting, on the other hand, is not suitable for the child because the kids are subjected to a greater risk of having low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. Children from authoritarian families are less socially adaptive, less resourceful, and are more likely to be involved in bullying. From the findings, a child raised by an authoritarian parent tends to be less independent, unhappy, high risk of smoking, drinking, and substance abuse.
Children who are raised by parents who are permissive tend to have low achievement levels in many areas since their parents expect very little from them and therefore they got nothing to aim or strive towards. According to research these types of children usually have poor academic performance. The children tend to have a less emotional understanding and display more aggression since they are not in a position of dealing effectively with their emotions, especially in a situation whereby they do not get what they want.
From the finding of the research children who are raised by parents who are uninvolved have fear and anxiety due to lack of support from the family, they are often emotionally withdrawn, have an increased risk of substance abuse. Children of parents who are unresponsive may have difficulty forming attachments later in life due to a lack of love from their caretakers and emotional responsiveness.
What I Have Learned
This research has helped me understand that parenting is not an easy job. I have learned that parenting comes with much responsibility and it is a learning experience whereby some of the parenting skills are natural while others are not and have to be learned. I have learned that different parenting styles tend to affect the child negatively. Drawing from the findings of the research I have been able to learn that the best parenting style to use while raising a child is the authoritative parenting style. In the authoritative parenting style, the child is natured in all ways and forms in a manner that does not affect the emotions of the child negatively since despite the child being monitored the parent still shows love to the child and tries to understand the child in every way possible.
Conclusion
Good parenting style is important to the development of a child. The four main types of parenting styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. These parenting styles can affect the child negatively or positively. From the findings of the research, the most appropriate parenting style is the authoritative parenting style. Parents should ensure that they adopt a parenting style that is favorable to the growth and development of a child. Attributes that are mostly used to define a good parenting style are love, trust, understanding, and listening. Parenting styles that are not favorable may result in the child being anti-social, being stressed, and depressed. This may cause the child to engage in bad behavior such as smoking, drinking alcohol, and substance abuse.
References
Bornstein, L., & Bornstein, M. H. (2007). Parenting styles and child social development. Encyclopedia on early childhood development. Montreal: Centre of
Excellence for Early Childhood Development and Strategic Knowledge Cluster on Early Child Development.
Carlo, G., McGinley, M., Hayes, R., Batenhorst, C., & Wilkinson, J. (2007). Parenting styles or practices? Parenting, sympathy, and prosocial behaviors among adolescents. The Journal of genetic psychology, 168(2), 147-176.
Kusterer, K. D. (2010). Impact of parenting styles on academic achievement: Parenting styles, parental involvement, personality factors and peer orientation (Doctoral dissertation, Long Island University, The Brooklyn Center).
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