Paper Example on Preventive Measures Against Damaging Conflicts in a Relationship

Introduction

Marriage and family life demands commitment, effort and effective evaluation of the manner one communicates his or her expectations. However, relationships and marriages are neither perfect nor are they free from emerging problems that may arise from time to time (Williams & Anyawu, 2017). Marital disputes are therefore prone to happen in intimate relations or marriage but they do not necessarily have to lead to insensitive arguments. Marital conflicts refer to opinion differences and series of events that have been poorly resolved damaging the marriage relationship. Some of the most common issues in intimate or spouse relations include selfishness, different personalities, boundary problems, ineffective communication, infidelity, money, and lack of appreciation among others (Strong & Cohen, 2013). Today, due to devastating effects of marital conflicts, a considerable number of couples are going through premarital counseling to acquire basic marital conflict resolution skills. Therefore, this paper will give an outline of questions a couple should address as part of preventative measures against damaging conflicts in their relationship.

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The failure or success of a marriage relationship widely depends on the manner a couple handles a number of their personal issues and external forces. Spouses should focus on their marital life, financial decisions, sex, gender roles, children, and communication as some of the essential factors, which would guide them, navigate the marriage discards (Scott, et.al 2013). Some of the questions a couple should address in a premarital counseling session include:

• Are you ready to marry or get married
• As a couple what do you want out of life and marriage
• How can you describe yourself as a couple

The above questions would help the couple to realize that marriage is not an agreement but a lifetime commitment. Therefore, this should be a moment to evaluate couples' readiness and expectations in relation to their marital pledge. It is necessary for potential partners to learn the life-long goals of their spouses to avoid imminent disappointments.

• Describe the meaning of commitment in marriage and do you have plans to retain a sturdy relationship after walking down the aisle.
• Among those people, you have met and you could have married why did you specifically chose your companion.
• Do you consider or think of changes that might take place immediately after settling as a couple or after several years in marriage?

Question d) to f) makes potential spouses realize that one of the fundamental pillars of marriage is binding to their pledges. Couples are supposed to demonstrate resolute allegiance to their partners and relationships (Scott, et.al 2013). Therefore, to avoid disloyalty and divorce especially during disagreements one should remain committed to and appreciate his or her partner despite the challenges they may be facing in their marriage.

• What do you anticipate in regards to emotional support during sad times, happy moments, illness or loss of properties?
• How will you overcome and adapt to midlife career points that may require changing some aspects of your life?
• How much time would you want to spend with your partner?
• Are you out-going and do you enjoy spending time indoors or catching up with each other in recreation place?

It is necessary for partners to highlight and discuss their visions in the companionship. Question g) to j) would give a guideline to analyze mutual expectations. Serious problems emanate when couples fail to clearly define, understand and fulfill their goals in their marriage.

• Do you share similar financial goals?
• Who will be accountable for bills, vacation treats, and other luxurious expenses?
• Do you agree to disclose your personal financial status to each other at all time?

Financial conflicts are some of the primary factors causing divorce and separation. Question k) to m) are some of the questions partners may use to comprehend their spouse spending habits. One of the ways to avoid financial disputes includes formulating mutual and valuable guiding principles.

• How often do you intend to enjoy intimacy with each other?
• How can you resolve differences regarding sexual preference and are there concerned that are off limit?
• Do you have an agreement or issues around sensual moment together?

Conflict around sex and intimacy is not one of the simplest disagreement to resolve. Sexual tension can be a consuming problem that shifts into different areas of a relationship (Strong & Cohen, 2013). For some couples, the conflict arises around the frequency of sex, change of sexual preference after birth among other issues as indicated in question n) to p).

• After how long do you intend to bear children and at an interval of how long?
• How will you shape your children values?

Discipline, diet and other parenting issues in relation to children can be a source of discord in the marriage. Parents should have a mutual and acceptable way of disciplining and instilling moral values in their kids without offending each other. Likewise, issues of cost should be addressed to avoid one partner feeling burdened.

• Do you think your personal differences will create a rift or cause problems in your marriage?
• What formalities or customs will you develop to bring serenity after a disagreement?

Although conflict is inevitable in marital relationships spouses should come up with effective ways of resolving their disagreement without hurting their partners furthers (Strong & Cohen, 2013). With personal differences, being one of the main cause of disputes in marriages talking out and giving each other time to calm down would prevent chances of divorce or separation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, marital problems have been the leading factor in making couples seek for divorce. However, disputes in marriage are inevitable and the difference between a successful and failed marital relationship is the manner a couple resolves and deals with arising problems. Spouses that work together in resolving marital disputes are more likely to save their marriage as compared to partners lacking conflict resolution skills.

Reference

Scott, S. B., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Allen, E. S., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Reasons fordivorce and recollections of premarital intervention: Implications for improvingrelationship education. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 2(2),131.

Strong, B., & Cohen, T. F. (2013). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships ina changing society. Cen gage Learning.

Williams, A., & Anyawu, K. (2017). Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy as a CollaborativeStyle in Resolving Marital Conflicts. European Journal of Social Sciences Studies.