Interpersonal conflicts are the norm among friends, in relationships, and the workplace. In the show Big Bang Theory season six episode nine, an interpersonal conflict arises (Lorre and Cendrowski, 2008). Wolowitz is promoted and has just bought a new fancy car (Lorre and Cendrowski, 2008). The university allocates a parking spot to Wolowitz who is ecstatic and cannot wait to tell his friends of his newly bought car (Lorre and Cendrowski, 2008). Rajesh and Leonard are happy for him, but Sheldon is angry. Sheldon is angry because Wolowitz has been allocated his parking spot. Sheldon does not have a car, but he feels that it was wrong for Wolowitz to take his parking spot (Lorre and Cendrowski, 2008). Although some conflicts are hard to resolve, practicing relationship maintenance behaviors and employing conflict resolution strategies can help avoid and resolve conflicts.
One of the reasons the conflict arises is that Sheldon reacts at the wrong time. Wolowitz has just bought a new car, and he wants his friends to be happy for him. Instead of sharing in his joy Sheldon reacts to the parking spot allocation. The reaction of Sheldon makes Wolowitz think that Sheldon is jealous of his achievements. Sheldon should have allowed Wolowitz to have his moment and then later confronted him about the issue of the parking spot. A conflict that arises at the wrong time and place escalates quickly as in the case of Sheldon and Wolowitz (Bevan and Sole, 2014).
The interpersonal conflict was not handled effectively due to the poor communication skills of both Sheldon and Wolowitz. Both Sheldon and Wolowitz were angry at each other and used derogatory language (Lorre and Cendrowski, 2008). The language used only intensified the conflict. One of the behaviors of maintaining relationships is conflict management. Conflict management involves listening, cooperating, and saying sorry (Bevan and Sole, 2014). Sheldon and Wolowitz were not ready to listen to each other as each felt offended. The conflict style involved was competitive. Each party had high concern for themselves and low concern for the other party (Bevan and Sole, 2014). A competitive conflict is hard to resolve since no one cares about the feelings and thoughts of the other party. The four horsemen of the apocalypse were also involved in this conflict (Bevan and Sole, 2014). Two behaviors were seen, criticizing and defensiveness. Both Sheldon and Wolowitz were criticizing each other. The parties were also defensive as they played the victim and blamed each other for the conflict. Playing defensive and criticizing each other is not the solution to a conflict (Bevan and Sole, 2014). Instead, both parties should have listened to each other and had concern for each other.
One of the ways Sheldon and Wolowitz should have used to handle the conflict effectively was by practicing empathy. Empathy involves placing oneself in the shoes of the other (Bevan and Sole, 2014). Sheldon should have tried to reason from Wolowitz' perspective. Wolowitz cannot understand why Sheldon should deny him a parking space which he does not use. However, if Wolowitz placed himself in Sheldon's shoes, he would have understood his anger and helped resolve the conflict. Another strategy was the expression of thoughts and feelings constructively (Bevan and Sole, 2014). Instead of going back and forth in argument and hurting each other, Sheldon and Wolowitz should have expressed their feelings in a calm and collected manner.
Conclusion
In conclusion, interpersonal conflicts are caused by negative behaviors. Sheldon and Wolowitz used derogatory language, and the reaction was at a wrong time which stoked the fire. Both parties also had no concern for each other which made the conflict hard to manage. The conflict would have been better handled if both parties had used constructive language to express their feelings and if they had empathized with each other. Conflicts are easily avoided and resolved if the parties practice relationship maintenance behavior.
References
Bevan, J. L., and Sole, K. (2014). Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making Connections. Bridgepoint Education.
Lorre, C. (Writer), & Cendrowski, M. (Director). (2008). The Parking Spot Escalation. [Television series episode]. In S. Molaro (Producer), The big bang theory. Burbank, CA: Warner Home Video.
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