Essay on Outdated Marriage

Introduction

Numerous years ago, all the people were expected to get married. In recent past, people started to view marriage as a personal decision made by a single person. It has remained to be part of our culture for quite longer dating to thousands of years ago, and it is true that almost every culture and religion had its relationship with marriage. In some of the traditions, like in some of the African nations, men are allowed to have more wives though in most cases it is limited to one woman and one man. Nowadays, marriage has become tremendously less popular. This could be as a result of some reasons. Considering the facts that I have from my research, I would effortlessly say that marriage is an extremely outdated culture. But just how much has it been outdated. The institution of marriage suffered a marked decrease in the twentieth century which is attributed to factors like increased divorce rates and also because some couples decided not to engage in marriage relationships (Thomason 51; Banks 24).

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The traditional concepts of marriage have also been overridden by the upsurge of the rights propagated by gays, who argue that they equally deserve the same opportunities and should, therefore, be allowed to get wed and leave as lovely couples too (Schilb and Clifford 23). But just like I had stated before in, I am absorbed in this question just because I am feeling indebted to tackle it because I have had enough issues and confusion with the idea of marriage. I am even finding it laughable to imagine that I will marry one day and this is an impossibility to me. But personally, I do not understand if it's a self-developed idea or confusion embedded in me by external factors I have been observing happening to my married relatives and friends. I have the same case, but I do not understand if my break up was enough to make me hate marriage to this extent. When I was growing up, the second thing I adored and desired after the military was to one day get married. But from the research I have made, my experience and observations have proven me enormously wrong. I have lived to realize how stupid I was. Of course, at this my, younger age, I have not known everything pertaining marriage but I am pretty sure that the little I have learned about marriage is enough to make me hate marriage forever and even any other person. I also wonder the extent of hate I would label to marriage if I were to live longer and longer on this planet. In fact, I would advise any young friend who has not got married to forget about it only; it would look worse than getting into a hungry lion's den. I will give full evidence to support my advice. After all, I am living proof, my data and observations will back me up. Additionally, it is true that rates of break up have increased and the abrupt changes in the status of women socially, the dimension of marriage has twisted, and most of the women are equally performing duties initially performed by men. It has brought about equality thereby women are not only observed as tools of marriage. Moreover, the seriousness with which the contract of marriage was taken initially has massively diminished because the deal today appears to be a temporary one (Rosina and Romina 56). This is because it can quickly be put down on paper and at the same time it can easily be unwritten. According to Mukhopadhyay (34), this makes marriage look quite an ordinary practice. Marriage is surely outdated.

Some of the feminist critique ideas around the 1960s argued that marriage made women choke by holding them in the homes and killing their identity. That is why today, with disregard of marriage chains, women are all over the world staying more prominent offices and parastatal heads in the country. Women are freer out of marriage and can, therefore, nowadays, make firm decisions regarding their social life and even financial responsibilities as opposed to when they were into an emotional confusion where their hands were tied and couldn't contribute to any decision making procedure. Like I put it, the statement of Meghan O'Rourke backs my thinking about marriage too. She argues that the rate at which people get a divorce is high and speaks for itself and that is why most marriages do not work. But Meghan is fascinated by how much people play around with a social practice that was highly regarded some years back. People marry and after a few weeks or months, they are divorced. This is an excellent joke as she puts it. To back up my argument about outdated marriage, Kipnis argued that marriage was just some idea forced into people so that they could get many children and do a lot of work to be able to support them. I also second Kipnis's view that there exists no relationship between sex and love that makes one have the lust to get into marriage. People should not, therefore, put much of their happiness that someone else would be next to them to sustain their pleasure.

Notably, some of the primary reasons that made me view marriage as being outdated are the fact that from my study, I noted that in most cases marriage restricts the liberty of individuals in the relationship. From my overall observation from, the sources I used to sustain my idea, I noted that single people live a beautiful and sweet life. They do this because they do not have time to split their attention to please the interest of others but rather concentrate their time to themselves alone thereby feeling the full interest in life themselves. The idea that society has moved on from the chains of tradition must be accepted, and that marriage issues are outdated. We should, therefore, clinch other different forms of human relationships and give them an equal measure of treatment (Kapoor 45). This could include homosexual relationships and single-parent families among others. This will further avoid people from viewing marriage as the only way that everyone should follow.

Another problem I have with marriage is the fact that before you marry, one must seek approval from the respective authorities or from the religion you are affiliated. In my critical evaluation, I should think that marriage is between only two people, who mutually agree to stay together, hence should be informed by pure and personal decisions and should be less formal. It is true to accept with my question about marriage because of the financial attachments it requires to get married. It is nowadays like transacting business to get into married life. In addition to that, in case of breakups, of which must be there because I don't believe in marriage, the costs of divorce cases are enormous and involve additional expenses that are not easy to settle. That is one of the reasons why I strongly clinch my statement that marriage is an outdated practice that should entirely be abandoned. Still, on the economic arguments against marriage, I find it interesting to note that organizing some marriage ceremonies are very expensive and call for the expansive use of money. Notably, the money could be used to finance development projects that would be used to benefit everyone in the country over time instead splashing a lot of money in a one-day occasion unnecessarily (Gerstel and Natalia 18-19).

Additionally, many couples, having got used to one another get caught in awful situations of arguments. In most cases, they get stuck into ridiculous and petty arguments and do it over and over again. It is because they have got different personalities which they do not allow to cease. Each of them does not want to unleash their ego for fear of being looked down upon and may break into domestic violence. Notably, it makes marriage a dangerous affair in people's lives, and that is why I strongly emphasize that marriage is an outdated issue and should not even be thought about. To authenticate my argument about marriage, Kipnis's even further argues that being in the union is more of being in the prison because all the time you want to do something, then you have to consult. She adds that it is even annoying always to wake up and find someone sleeping beside you.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I found the study quite interesting though very challenging because of the stand I took on this paper. I have come to realize that majority is of the same opinion as mine and that has motivated me to carry on with my research work in future.

Work Cited

Banks, Ralph Richard. Is marriage for white people?: How the African American marriage decline affects everyone. Penguin, 2011.

Gerstel, Naomi, and Natalia Sarkisian. "Marriage: The good, the bad, and the greedy." Contexts 5.4 (20 Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, a history: How to love conquered marriage. Penguin, 2006.06): 16-21.

Mukhopadhyay, Samhita. Outdated: Why Dating Is Ruining Your Love Life. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2011. Internet resource.

Kappor, Ajay. If Freedom Is Your Only Option: Integrating Meditation with Life.

Rosina, Alessandro, and Romina Fraboni. "Is marriage losing its centrality in Italy?." Demographic research 11 (2004): 149-172.

Schilb J. and Clifford J. "Arguing about Literature A Guide and Reader, Second Edition" Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's Macmillan Learning 2014.

Thomason, Laura E. The matrimonial trap: eighteenth-century women writers redefine marriage. Bucknell University Press, 2013.