Essay Example on Effective Communication: Language, Relationships & Discourse

Introduction

Effective communication and language is an integral part of human life and activities. Effective communication defines a two-way practice which builds and strengthens relationships, keeps persons updated, and lessens the possibility of mistakes and errors. The meaning of a word is attached to the use of language. According to Wittgenstein (2009), “Language is both constructing our world and is socially created by intersubjective discourse." Communication is also made of unending human practices and language games.

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The unending language games and human practices make it a great explanatory device to distinguish and separate different discourses that may be present in people’s engagements and conversations. The purpose of this paper is to provide a detailed analysis and discussion concerning the communication between John and Jane in relation to its approach, Verbal/Nonverbal Forms of Communication, impacts of technology, rewriting the case study and the remedy to improve the dialogue.

Communication Approach Used By John and Jane in the Scenario

John and Jane are applying a two-way communication approach, which is characterized by a dialogue. According to Olson et al. (2012), the dialogic communication involves a shared language with several voices and representing the state of "being with." Both participants are active members of the dialogue as they engage in asking and answering each other’s questions as well as trying to reach a consensus.

The dialogue between John and Jane is characterized by a spontaneous exchange of meaningful information which concerns the James (their child) and James's mother. In this communication, the participants monitor and observe each other to view how their intentions and meanings are being received and interpreted, thus providing space to make clarifications and adjustments accordingly.

The main aspects of this dialogue are listening and speaking. Each partner has the chance to express their point of view, listen and be listened to, and respond to what the other partner might have aired. John and Jane’s dialogue also features a negotiation where each of them has a point that needs to be addressed (Olson et al., 2012, p.431). John is trying to push forward the issue about the call and visitation of his mother while Jane brings in the question concerning James's football tournament.

With the above two subjects arising from the dialogue, the communication is however, built on a monologue language, one that ignores the other’s point of view (Paz, n.d, p.7). In this case scenario, Jane appears to be ignoring John's statements, which concern his mum. Every time John mentions to Jane about his mother’s request to visit the following month, Jane raises a contradicting issue. An example of this language is evident in the following statement, “So what do you think about Mom coming to visit,” John said. “Don’t forget that you also agreed to write that letter to the zoning board before next Monday,” Jane interrupted.

In this communication, Jane is self-centered and disapproves of the existence of John's point of view. Therefore, the language creates a grammar unconsciousness and aspect of causality as Jane is guilty and responsible for communication breakdown. At the same time, John is the passive bystander as he is willing to develop the conversation. According to Paz (n.d, p.6), the monologue language in the scenario complicates the communication between the two partners to the point that John goes to bed after realizing that Jane is not willing to contribute to his point of view.

Verbal/Nonverbal Forms of Communication Utilized By the Couple

The verbal cues focus on how things are said and not what is told by either of the partners. On the other hand, the nonverbal cues in the scenario focus on what actions are included during a communication. One of the verbal cues in the scenario is the question John poses to his wife, asking whether she could remember the text that day had sent earlier concerning his mother’s visitation. By posing this question, John expects that Jane will give him the required feedback on the same issue (Bajracharya, 2018). However, Jane responds using non-verbal cues that include nodding her head and shrugging of shoulders. Nodding the head indicates that she agrees that she could have seen the text, but the action of shrugging shoulders reveals that she is not into the idea of his mom coming to visit.

Alternatively, Jane uses a shifting voice (rising intonation) as she changes to the discussion topic and introduces a new one. The part on "Oh, I almost forgot!" makes use of an exclamation to bring in an aspect of surprise. Shifting addressee is another verbal cue applied in the case study to illustrate John's thoughts on the issue (Seikkula et al., 668). At some point, John is addressing himself internally, trying to figure out what might be building in Jane's mind.

An example of the shifting addressee is, “I am sure that she thinks I invited her down just to bother her.” Another non-verbal cue used in the scenario is the aspect of taking a deep breath. John takes a breath to cool off and compose himself before he can go back to asking about his mom's visitation after he realizes Jane is ignoring him (Morin, 2020). Interruption is also another verbal cue used by Jane to cut off John from asking his question. An excellent example of interruption is "So what do you think about Mom coming to visit," John said. "Don't forget that you also agreed to write that letter to the zoning board before next Monday," Jane interrupted.

How Technology Might Impact This Communication

Technology might have worsened this communication due to lack of content. Technology does not provide a platform for communicating parties to express their feelings primarily through non-verbal cues. The couple would not be able to read each other's tone, expressions, or body language (Geladi, 2018). It is difficult to know when one is serious, humorous, or ironic.

Therefore, the communication might be built on assumptions, miscommunication, and misunderstandings on how one partner views the other. Virtual communication fails to offer the personal touch despite incorporating features such as emoji and voice messages. Integration of technology in this communication might also cause misinterpretation, which leads to a loss of trust between the couple.

Considering the fact that Jane had already denied having received a text from John, technology would have complicated the communication as Jane would likely ignore it completely. Therefore, there is no assurance or guarantee that the conversation might happen since the receiver (Jane) might just decide not to reply after reading its contents (Geladi, 2018). Negotiation through online and mobile technology might not be compelling enough for the couple to reach a consensus.

Rewriting the Case Scenario to Demonstrate a Successful Communication between John and Jane.

"Honey, remember the text I sent to you earlier today? About my mom wanting to come for a visit? You didn't get back to me, so I thought we could talk about it. Anyway, mom called and asked if next month is okay to visit," John said, a little anxiously. He knew that it was not an easy topic for them.

Jane shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head. “I received your text, but unfortunately, I did not reply because I wanted to discuss the issue in person. However, I think we should first discuss James's upcoming soccer tournament this weekend. You are going to carpool again,” Jane said.

“I knew that she does not want mom to visit. I am sure that she thinks I invited her down just to bother her. However, let us discuss the soccer tournament first, then try and get her view on mom's request to visit." John thought to himself.

John then told Jane, “No problem with the soccer details. I will handle the issue, Honey.” “Fine, also remember to write that letter to the zoning board before next Monday,” replied Jane. “I won’t forget, sweetheart,” replied John, John took a deep breath, “So what do you think about Mom coming to visit,” John asked. "Honey, I think you should give some more time to think about it. You know we do not get along as much, and I would not want any of us to feel out of place,” replied Jane.

"Alright, sweetheart, I do understand you. Just take your time. Afterward, we could discuss the way forward and give her feedback. However, I think she could help us with babysitting as we go to our jobs," John said to Jane. "Okay, honey, I will give you the feedback," Jane said. Having reached this point, both partners felt satisfied and went to sleep.

Remedying and Improving the Communication between John and Jane

One key area that should be modified in the communication is Jane's interruption every time John tries to ask a question. Other than interrupting, Jane should be patient and become an active listener in the dialogue (Olson et al., 2012, p.433). Jane should stop being self-centered and learn to embrace John’s point of view to create a healthy dialogue.

Another area concerns the judgments that John is continuously making about Jane. John assumes he already knows what is in Jane’s mind. Therefore it becomes hard for James to convince Jane otherwise as he has already decided for her. In working with this couple to improve their communication, one aspect that I would emphasize shifts in positioning (Seikkula et al., 670). Both parties need to recognize each other as legitimate and intrinsically qualified voice. Both of them should be able to speak as listeners.

Conclusion

Effective communication is a remedy for many problems experienced by humans. It is the linguistic basis for inter-subjectivity and subjectivity for people's ability to consider other points of view. Effective communication comprises of a language that is not just a clear channel of thought but which is also a fundamental part of knowledge, attached to thinking, reacting, and acting to the world. People in relationships need to incorporate language games to address their concerns and feelings with mutual respect to escape lifetime detachment and loneliness. The language may either be used to strengthen or weaken the bonds between members in the relationship.

References

Bajracharya, S. (2018, February 15). Verbal versus non-verbal communication. Businesstopia. https://www.businesstopia.net/communication/verbal-vs-non-verbal-communication

Geladi, N. (2018, May 21). Technology is affecting the quality of face-to-face human interaction. Medium. https://medium.com/digital-society/technology-is-affecting-the-quality-of-human-face-to-face-interaction-146fe72a29c5

Morin, A. (2020, January 11). What are the nine types of nonverbal communication you might be missing? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-nonverbal-communication-2795397

Olson, M. E., Laitila, A., Rober, P., & Seikkula, J. (2012). The shift from monologue to dialogue in a couple therapy session: Dialogical investigation of change from the therapists’ point of view. Family Process, 51(3), 420-435.

Paz, I. (n.d). Playing Language Games with the Bovarys: The Shift from Monologue to Dialogue in Couples-Therapy Through the Lens of Literary Lovers.

Seikkula, J., Laitila, A., & Rober, P. (2012). Making sense of multiactor dialogues in family therapy and network meetings. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(4), 667-687.

Wittgenstein, L. (2009) Philosophical Investigations, NY: Wiley-Blackwell [1958].