Getting Engaged: A Step-by-Step Guide for a Lasting Marriage - Essay Sample

Introduction

The process of getting engaged features a lot more than the romantic proposal that focuses on the engagement ring. It involves phases both before and after the engagement, which will determine how successful the process will be in the long run. When all these phases are adhered to, a couple may feel confident that the engagement will last and eventually lead to marriage. Their commitment will be made clear, which will see to it that both play effective roles in successful marriages thereafter. A successful engagement ensures that the relationship is strengthened thereafter.

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Before Getting Engaged

Speaking from the viewpoint of a woman who got engaged recently, I believe that I have the experience which can be shared to help others in making the process a success. I have been dating with my fiance for almost three years now. Within the last three years, we started planning our engagement as we knew that we wanted to settle down and start a family of our own. Although many believe that the proposal should be a surprise so as to make it romantic, I still think that the best option is to consider proper planning beforehand. It will help the proposal to go smoothly as both individuals will be certain that getting engaged is what they want. Thus, the process will not be uncomfortable and one will not feel pressured to accept.

With proper planning, a relationship that still needs time will not be forced to move along, when one person pressures the other for engagement. That can ruin a relationship, not because the couple is incompatible, but because of the relationship is being pressured to move to the next level (Slutsky 1583). Therefore, the couple needs to undertake certain steps that will help in evaluating whether or not they are ready for the next step. If they are already of the right age, they must decide whether they are also prepared for the life long commitment. They have to determine whether they can build a family and future together, if their partner is the right individual for a spouse, and many others.

The couple needs to understand that exchanging a ring and making promises is not something to be taken as a joke. The matrimonial responsibilities such as financial concerns, domestic chores, and other obligations must be addressed to ensure they both understand each other's preferences and even know what to expect from the union. It will ensure that they do not end up with disagreements simply because they assumed that the other individual will offer a certain benefit. That is also the time when the man may approach the bride's father to discuss the idea and even ask for her hand in marriage. Although many may disagree and argue that it is an old tradition, I still believe that it shows a lot of respect and even appreciation for the future in-laws who will also become a part of the new family. Therefore, it is important to start the process on the best note to avoid future conflicts.

Planning the Marriage Proposal

The marriage proposal requires time and a lot of patience to be invested. It is important that it pays attention to detail, and reflects what the couple values the most. Some may prefer to write poems while others may plan a romantic getaway. All these are important because they make the process to be memorable. It also strengthens their relationship which needs to be rekindled every now and then by romantic gestures.

Once they both establish that they are ready for an engagement, the couple can now consider getting engagement rings. Sometimes, both of them work together to get the ring, and other times the bride is surprised with the ring. However, even in the latter scenario, the bride to be's preferences is considered by the man as he makes the purchase.

Selecting the location where the proposal will take place will also determine the outcome. The location should be in a bright place where one can get into the right mood. The families and friends can also be invited over for the occasion. However, that is not a must since the couple may decide to keep things simple depending on their capabilities. The most common venues for proposals are at home during family gatherings, a special restaurant, outdoors under the stars or at the beach, at the place where the couple first met, or had their first date. Many prefer to have such proposals in a private setting before announcing the engagement later on to their friends and families.

The right date must be settled for to ensure the proposal is also memorable. That is why many couples also settle for special dates such as Valentine's day, Christmas, or birthdays. These play an essential role in the setting of the mood, compared to work days where someone may be stressed and unable to enjoy the event. Thus, dates chosen need to be special and practical to ensure that both are comfortable and happy about the engagement.

After the engagement, the next steps follow which involves sharing with family and friends and even planning a celebration. A celebration needs to be planned because it gives the others an opportunity to congratulate the couple. Also, since the engagement is an important milestone in life, the celebration ensures that memories can be captured through videos and photographs.

By following the approaches indicated above, the unique relationship will be promoted and a lot of memories will be captured. However, couples should consider approaches that are unique to them as individuals, rather than follow what others did in their events. For instance, if the bride to be comes from a family where a strong relationship exists with her father, then it is imperative that he be involved in the process. However, if the closeness lacks, then the parents can be informed later on after the engagement has already taken place ("Positive Relationships" n.p). The same applies to friends, who may play an important role in helping out with the engagement plans and ideas. Especially of it is a surprise, the groom to be will need the bride to be's best friends to help out and ensure everything goes according to plan.

Conclusion

The engagement process features a lot of necessary steps to take before, during and after the proposal. All these must be followed promptly to ensure that the relationship is not destroyed. Also, it ensures that no individual is subjected to discomfort when she receives a marriage proposal from a complete stranger or a man she considered a friend. Such awkward situations can be avoided by following the steps highlighted in this paper.

Works Cited

"Positive Relationships: Working With Parents - Getting Engaged". Vol 2013, no. 6, 2013. Mark Allen Group, doi:10.12968/nuwa.2013.14.6.1119238.

Slutsky, Jean et al. ""Getting Engaged"". Journal Of General Internal Medicine, vol 29, no. 12, 2014, pp. 1582-1583. Springer Science And Business Media LLC, doi:10.1007/s11606-014-2948-0.